I fill my life with empty hours

because if I don’t, well,

then, there will be nothing

left

and I do not want to drown

in the sorrow that is boredom

I have run far too long in the darkness as a boy to know

where those things lead me

So I stay up late pretending

that I am awake

For as a long as I can

For as long as a moment that is three hours that feels like minutes and then

Seconds

Will last

me.

It takes my limbs one sigh to get up

To die

In bed

I think of stars and lullabies

Of ten wars lost, fought in my heads

as battles that made not a sound

but gave me dread

lie in a comatose state, floating

inside my veins