Alex silently solves the math problems he gave himself while I just watch him behind the tall collar of my sweater. My hands are clutching the top of the collar, pulling it over my mouth while my elbows are leaning on the table. I'm slightly hunched forward, leaning towards Alex. Under me, my legs are crossed.

I put one of my hands down on the table and look out the window. It's not raining like how it was for the past few days, which is good. I can't stand to have it rain anymore since it's just a constant reminder of my sister. This morning during breakfast, my parents were just silent. I was the only one who had a slight appetite. My dad periodically took sips of his coffee and looked down. My mom just sat at the table. So I can't even ask my parents about what is going to happen with her, but it's not the right time anyway. I'm assuming she's in the morgue right now staying there until my parents decide what to do: cremate her body or bury it.

I haven't seen Rain since I visited her in the hospital. I haven't talked to her since that same day. It's kind of strange thinking about it now.

I feel another hand tap my own, and I pull away, startled. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry, I just had to get your attention," Alex says.

"You couldn't like... call my name?" I ask.

"I was, but you weren't looking here."

"Oh," I say, looking out the window again in embarrassment. "What do you need help with?"

"I just needed help with this one problem," he answers, pushing his notebook to me. "I'm so stupid. I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. That's why I'm here." I look at the question while he leans over the table, really close behind me. I feel his soft breaths on my neck, and it's hard to focus on what he's asking.

"I-I'm sorry," I say. "But... w-what were you asking?"

"Never mind, I see what I have to do," Alex replies, taking back the notebook and smiling at me. "Thanks, anyway."

"You're welcome," I say, sitting back in my chair again.

"Y'know, um... maybe we can go somewhere after this?" Alex asks. "Only if you want to, though, I understand if you have to go home or something."

Go out somewhere? Does he mean like a date? (Or is it just me?) I do want to go, but my parents will probably ask me why I came home so late. Or maybe they won't since they're dealing with my sister's death right now. But I don't want to go home.

"Yeah," I say, nodding. "Sure."

Alex stands up. "Okay. Do you want to go now?"

"Sure," I answer.

Alex puts his books in his brown messenger bag and slings it over his shoulder while I stand up too. We walk out of the library together and out of school.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask. "Did you have someplace in mind?"

He nods his head. "There's this new Japanese café downtown that I wanted to try out. It had good reviews on Yelp."

"Okay," I reply.

"It's a short walk from here. It shouldn't take very long."

We walk down the block from our school, and at first, there are groups of friends and couples walking together. As we keep walking, the students start to clear out until it's just us.

"Have you ever had... someone else?" I ask him. "Like a partner?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," he says. "I've had, like, three girlfriends."

My heart sank. "Oh."

"I broke up with all of them, though. I just felt like something was missing. I dunno."

We cross the street and enter this corner café. It doesn't have the typical café colors of browns though; it's a rainbow of pastel colors.

"This place is really... um..."

"Colorful?" Alex says, finishing my sentence. "I wasn't sure if you would like this."

"I like it."

He lets out a sigh of relief. "Okay, good."

We look up at the menu, and I notice something. "Alex, I don't have money on me."

He looks over at me. "I'll pay for you."

"Um... okay," I say, fumbling with the sleeve of my sweater, embarrassed.

"Do you want to get something?" Alex asks me while I try to look for the cheapest thing to eat. I look through the glass that displays the food.

"I'll just get the... bear cupcake."

"The one with the cocoa powder on top?"

"Mm-hm," I say.

"Okay. Go and find a table while I order."

It's pretty empty in here, and I find a table by the window. (I like sitting by the window and looking outside, especially when things become awkward.) A few other girls are sitting at another table, looking and pointing at Alex as he's ordering.

So Alex has had a girlfriend before. I mean, I already knew that since he's posted pictures of her, but he's broken up with all three of them. He said he felt that something was missing. Could I have that part that his previous girlfriends were missing? I doubt it, but...

"I have your cupcake," Alex says, handing me the cake.

"Thanks," I reply, pushing up my glasses.

He sits down. "So, tell me about yourself. Do you have a pet or something."

"I don't exactly have a pet, but there's this cat that always comes around to our backyard every day," I say. "Do you have one?"

"No. I'm pretty lonely. I'm an only child," he replies while sipping his drink. 

This is the worst. He's probably going to ask me if I have any siblings now, isn't he?

"Are you an only child?" he asks me.

I pause. "Well, I had a sister."

"Wow, I wish I had a sister. You're really lucky."

I shake my head and look down at the table. I try to say something at first, but I feel like crying. After a few seconds, I gain my composure and say, "I said I had one. She... she just died. Yesterday."

I couldn't see his expression, but I'm sure he was in shock. "Oh, I-I'm so sorry."

"I still haven't gotten used to it yet," I say, looking at Alex. He looks like he wants to ask something, but he's not. "Can we talk about something else, please?" I ask.

He nods. "Um, okay, sure."

I start the conversation. "So how do you like your new school?"

"It's great, actually. Everyone's different since, y' know, not everyone's into sports, but I like it. Everyone's nice. And then you were very welcoming, so that's great too."

I take a bite out of my chocolate cupcake. The cocoa powder gets everywhere, but I kinda like it. It balances the sweet, decadent cake with neutral bitterness.

"This is pretty good," I say as I swallow the bite. "Did you get anything to eat?"

"No, I only got a drink," Alex replies, staring at me.

"Do you want a piece of... um..." I trail off.

Alex reaches over the table, his hand in a loose fist with his thumb slightly out. I move back as I see that he's reaching towards my face.

"What are you..."

He touches my cheek with his thumb and rubs it across horizontally, pulling back afterward and wiping his thumb on a napkin.

"There was some of the powder on your face," he says as if that was completely ordinary. "I just had to get it off."

I feel my face becoming hotter as my heart pounds against my chest. I push up my glasses.

"What were you asking before?" Alex asks.

"I was just wondering if you would like a piece of my cake," I answer softly.

"Sure, only if you want me to have it."

I break off a piece for him from the part where I didn't bite and hand it to him. "H-here."

"Thanks!" Alex says as he takes the piece and bites it.

He smiles at me, and I feel like hiding behind my sweater again. But I don't. I just smile back and push up my glasses.