Alex POV:
I walked into my house. It was quiet so I assumed nobody was home like usually. Most mornings my father left before I even woke up and didn't come home before late. When he eventually came home he was so tired of work he often just fell asleep right away, and sometimes he even came home a little drunk. He wasn't really a big part of my life and I mostly took care of myself. He payed the bills and bought food, but that was about it when it came to being a father.
I had no other family except my half-sister Hazel, but she had moved to Los Angeles with her boyfriend for collage. My mother had died when I was a little kid. I don't remember much about her, and I quickly learnt not to ask my dad about her. I'd also had a sister, but she died when I was ten. Even though my father had never said it, I knew he blamed me for her death. One time, a few years ago, when he was really drunk, i'd heard him mumble something along the lines of it should have been me instead of her. And I blamed myself for her death too, and always have. I hated myself for what happened that day, but it didn't really helped that my dad hated me too.
I closed the door behind me and walked upstairs to my room. I dumped down on my bed and let out a long sigh. Was it really over with Joe? Wouldn't breaking up just make this whole situation even more complicated. I wasn't sure if I could pretend I didn't know him before, but now I knew it would be impossible. The only thing worse than being in a relationship with your teacher is to have broken up with your teacher. I'd seen the hurt in his eyes whenI said I hated him. I can't see that same hurt every time I goto class.
I laid my head in my hands and took a deep breath. What was I going to do? Was there even anything I could do? I really, really wanted to be with Will, and even though we hadn't spend much time together I had developed strong feelings for him. It was like in all those stories where you meet The One and you just instantly know, you know.
No, I told myself. No, we've broken up. we can not see each other, it's illegal. Literally! But still...
I sighed and laid down on my bed. I looked at the watch on my nightstand: 8 pm. Suddenly I heard the door opening and closing, followed by some heavy footsteps. I assumed it was my dad so I walked downstairs to see why he home early.
When I walked into the living room I saw my dad on the couch. He was laying with his face down in a pillow, which looked pretty pathetic. I could smell the alcohol all the way from where I stood in the doorway. He was drunk again, which at this point was not a surprise anymore.
"Dad?" I tried. He slowly lifted his head from his pillow and looked at me. His face was confused at first, but all of a sudden it turned to anger.
"You," he nearly shouted. "It's your fault". I was so shocked that I couldn't move. Most nights like these he would just ignore my existence.
"What?"
"It should've been you," he said, getting up from the couch walking closer to me. "She would have been here if it wasn't for your stupidity!"
It was hard to understand him because of the alcohol, but I knew he was talking about my sister and how she'd died while trying to save me. I felt my eyes watered and a single tear ran down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away but more tears appeared. Then my sadness then turned to anger, anger at my father for accusing me for her death.
"Me?" I yelled at him. "It should have been me? You don't think I blame myself for this already? I don't need you to blame me for it to!" I knew it was a bad idea to yell at him while he was drunk but in that moment I didn't give a shit.
"Because of my stupidity?" I continued. "Where were you in all this? Shouldn't you have been watching over us or something? What's that called again... being a parent? Oh, wait, I forgot you don't know what that means!"
There was a silent before my father shouted: "I never asked for another child! A son would've been great, but you can't even manage to do that right. You just had to be gay!"
He took a step closer to me."Get out," he said, pointing at the door. "Get out of my house!"
"Fine!" I shouted back. I turned around and ran towards the door, out of the house, away from my father. I didn't had any money or any place to stay, but at that point I didn't care. I just needed to get away.
Outside, the rain was pouring down. In the hurry to get away from my father I'd forgotten to grab my jacket. After a few minutes my black t-shirt was completely soaked and my hair was plastered to my head. The rain hit my face like whips and my tears mixed up with the rain. I had no idea where I was and I didn't recognize any of the buildings around me. I slowed down my running and looked around. It was a small shop on the other side of the street. Maybe I could ask to stay there just for the night, I thought, but doubted it. The shop looked closed anyways but I had no other place to stay.
I was on the verge to give up, but then a car drove up to me and stopped. The car was gray and looked a bit old. I couldn't see the driver because it was dark and the driver didn't have the light inside the car on. I was about to turn and walk away, thinking the car didn't stop because of me, but then the chauffeur opened the window on the passenger side of the car.
I couldn't believe my eyes. Inside the car was a person with a mop of golden curls on his head, piercing, sky blue eyes and tan, freckled skin.
"Get in", Joe said. I just stood there staring, not believing what I was seeing. My head was filled with a million questions. What was joe doing here? How did he know I was here? Should I get in the car? Were we even together anymore?
All I could do was stand there and stare. I met Joe's eyes and for a moment everything seemed fine. The rain, my wet clothes, my father, it all went away for a moment.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when he repeated what he'd just said. "Get in" I met Joe's eyes for a second before I got into the car. Tears were still streaming down my face and my clothes were dripping wet.
"Alex, are you okay?" Joe said concerned as I closed the door to the old car. I looked up and met his eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked at me like he was trying to figure out what was going on.
"I'm sorry Joe. I'm so, so sorry. I don't hate you, I just-" I said, the words falling out of my mouth. I tried to stop myself from crying but the tears streamed down my face like rivers. I wiped them away but every part of me was just as wet as my face so it didn't help. "And-and now you car is all wet and it's my fault and I don't know what to do."
"It's okay Alex, I understand. And I'm sorry too, I just don't want you to get hurt." Joe said, leaning a little closer to wiped away the tears on my cheek with his thumb. "And I don't want to be the one that hurts you.."
Gods, why does this have to be so hard, I thought. I leaned closer to him and looked him in the eye. He didn't pull away. We were only a few inches apart now. "You would never hurt me, but I am willing to take that chance."
I closed my eyes and kissed him. He kissed back and I was melting under the touch of his lips. Kissing him felt so good, and it was like all my problems went away for while.
The kiss was needy and passioned and full of undistributed feelings. One of my hands was tangled in his hair, the other around his neck. The kiss grew more slippy and I took the chance to use my tongue. We fought for dominance for a moment but I gave in and let him take the control over the kiss.
The kiss felt so good, and don't get me wrong I really enjoyed it, but at the same time I knew this was wrong. This relationship was illegal and Joe could loose his job. Probably go to jail too or something. I knew this was never going to end well, but at the same time I still held on to a tiny little bit of hope. Because maybe, maybe after this year was over. Then he wouldn't be my teacher anymore. But that was a whole year...
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