That night, I go through my closet, looking for a teddy bear my sister gave me during my tenth birthday. At that time, I was begging my parents for one since I was really into collecting stuffed animals at the time. I had almost every animal except for the classic teddy bear. And so on my birthday, she gave hers to me. It was a little raggedy, with a few sewn on patches of different fabric. I was ungrateful for it at the time because I wanted a brand new teddy bear, and so I put it in this closet. I forgot about it until now. I still don't know why I had the sudden urge to find it again, but here I am, looking for it.

I see a fuzzy, tan leg sticking out from behind a box full of old stuffed animals. I push the box to the side, and sure enough, there's a raggedy teddy bear there. It looked in tact, patches and everything still together. I pull it out and look at it. Now that I'm seeing this again after almost eight years, it kind of looks cute with all of the patches. It's fairly large, a little taller than a foot. I rub the soft fabric in between my fingers as my eyes water up.

I can't start crying now. My mom is probably going to walk in on me. But I can't help it anymore. A tear falls onto my arm, rolling down as I hug the bear. I walk to my bed and get under my blanket, laying the teddy bear next to me. My tears wet the pillow as I softly and slowly cry myself to sleep.

The next morning, I sit up in bed, the sunlight streaming in through the window. The teddy bear is laying next to my pillow, and I get changed for school. Today's gym, so I pack my gym clothes into my backpack with the rest of my books. My parents have already left for work, so I don't eat breakfast and leave the house, locking the front door.

I walk to school, and halfway there, I see that the road I would usually walk down is under construction. I'll just have to take a different way, then. I turn right instead of straight, (since that's the road under construction) and walk down this street. I've never walked down this street or really payed attention to it, but it's filled with large, fancy houses. I guess this is where all the rich students in school live.

I see some boys from my school standing in the way of the sidewalk. I keep my head low, trying to not draw attention to myself. As I pass by, I see their shiny Nike shoes.

"Hey, you're not from here, are you?" one of them asks, holding his arm out. I stop and look at them.

"N-no," I say. "I go to the same school as you, through."

"You do, eh?" he says. "What's your name?"

"Oh, my name? E-Earnest."

One of the other friends gasp and whisper into the other guy's ear. He looks at me afterwards.

"So you're the one who killed your sister."

It feels like a stab in my chest. My eyes water up. "No that wasn't..." I trail off.

"Maybe we should leave before he kills us too!" another person says jokingly. But I don't think this is funny at all.

"Stop..." I say softly, looking at the sidewalk.

"Just get away, asshole. The police will find you soon enough," the first guy says, giving me a hard push on the chest. I fall down as they chuckle, crying on the sidewalk as I pick up the books that have been scattered everywhere.

"What a crybaby. Get over it!"

I get up and walk to school, wiping my eyes. I can't let anyone see me in this miserable state because it's just too embarrassing. But no one would comfort me anyway.

. . .

Before gym class, I see Alex talking to the coach. It's his first gym class today, but we haven't even talked yet. And he's never asked me about this class before.

Alex finishes talking and I walk up to him.

"Hi," I say in a monotone voice.

"Oh, hey!" he says enthusiastically. "Are you in the next class?"

I nod my head.

"Okay, that's cool. I am too! I just need to choose a locker."

We walk into the boys' locker room together to change into our clothes. This is probably the worst part of my week because one I have to take off my shirt in front of everyone and two I see everyone take off their shirt. And I don't usually wear an undershirt. Nor does anyone else.

I go to my assigned locker and Alex follows me. "Is the locker next to you empty?" he asks, pointing to the tall locker.

I nod.

"Great! I'll take this one, then," he says, opening it and setting a duffel bag down onto the floor. I definitely don't want Alex seeing me shirtless. (But I guess there are pros too...)

"A-are you sure you want to take this one?" I say nervously. "I mean, there's a bunch of other ones other than this one in the small corner."

"No, I like this one," he says as he slips his black t-shirt off.

I catch a glimpse of him, but then I quickly look away. "H-how can you just... do that?" I ask.

"I don't know," he answers. "You're not used to doing this?"

"I am, but... you're showing... everything."

"You just need to loosen up a little. That's what I think, at least."

I'm silent.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" Alex asks, peeking his head around the door of the locker.

I turn. "Yeah, I... am."

That's when I regret turning. Because then I can't resist the urge to look down at him. At first I try to maintain eye contact with him, but then my eyes trail downwards

I have to say Alex is pretty brawny, though. It's not like the biggest muscles ever, but for someone like him, it's hard to look away.

Stop staring, Earnest, stop staring, I tell myself.

"Hey," Alex says. "Um... you're staring."

I look away as I turn red. "A-Alex, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," he says, interrupting me.

I face the inside of my locker and take off my shirt too. While I'm getting my gym clothes, I cover my front side with the shirt I just took off.

"You're not confident about yourself?" Alex asks.

"No. How can I be, like this?" I say in a surprisingly snarky way.

"Just... let everyone see how you look. I'm one-hundred percent sure no one will say anything about that."

"Okay. I'll get there someday."

I pull away the shirt slowly and throw it into my bag as I quickly put on the other one. I change into my gym shorts, which aren't that bad. (Since I have boxers on. Gladly so does Alex.)

"Someday," I say, walking into the gym after I close the locker.