Noa held the door to NBH open for Em late on Wednesday afternoon. They were still in uniform, skirt, polo, and knee socks today, Em had changed though since he was coming from the fitness club. He was dressed casually in a loose fitting tee and baggy jeans. Having had to watch Noa in a skirt all day, he’d felt it was best to wear something that could hide the effect it had on him.

Noa led him back to the kitchen to study and had some drinks and snacks out already, just in case. Em ignored them and casually set up to help Noa. They started with the notes for the last three days and flowed into working on the homework. He wondered what it was that everyone else found difficult with tutoring Noa. Once he simplified things Noa seemed to be able to pick it up easily. Sometimes they needed to be reminded about the right formulas, but in all they really seemed to be trying to understand.

Em grabbed a bottle of water and watched Noa work on a handful of problems. Joining DI hadn’t been so bad. He was assigned as a runner for the secretary which basically meant doing menial tasks like filing and retrieving things. He really had no interaction with Noa during the course of the morning meeting, and didn’t even really see them much at all. He watched their brow scrunch in concentration. He had decided to pursue them, but didn’t want to turn tutoring into his opportunity. Of course it was a great way to allow Noa to get used to his existence, but he wasn’t going to take advantage of his position. He’d have to find other opportunities.

“Marceau,” Noa leaned away from the notebook and presented their work, hopeful that it was correct. It’d already been an hour and Noa’s neck was cramping from leaning over their work. They longed for a hot shower to relax their tension. Noa grabbed an apple to snack on while thumbing through three days of calculus notes. Everything made sense right now, but it usually did right after learning. The problem came when it was time to test. It was like everything was gone. The ease that Em had offered to help tutor made Noa hope that if they did it frequently enough, they could actually pass it this year.

Em glanced up from their work just in time to see Noa catch a drip of juice from their apple that ran down their chin. He wondered momentarily if they were completely oblivious to how that made him feel. They had to be, they didn’t even blush, just perked up, ready to hear about their work.

“It’s good, you caught yourself here,” Em pointed to the third problem, “and self corrected. That’s great. Do you want to finish the rest of today’s homework without me?”

Noa looked a little confused, “Oh no no no no. It’s only five more problems, I’d rather know right away if I’ve fucked it up.”

Em raised a single eyebrow, “Don’t dismiss yourself so easily. I’ll start my Literature reading while you finish up.” Em took a book from his bag and leaned back to read. “To Kill a Mockingbird” is a classic high school read, and although Em had read it before, he felt himself pulled into Scout’s world easily. It took Noa touching his shoulder to pull him out of the book.

“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, a mild blush tinting his cheeks. He turned his attention to Noa’s math work. “Good job, Noa.” He smiled up at them and was rewarded with a sincere smile in return. He handed it back quietly, and turned to packing his things away.

“Uh, Saturday then?”

Em looked up, a little surprised, “Uh, yeh, in the morning? I work at four.”

“Oh here’s this,” Em pulled their purse around and pulled out the money for the tutoring. “Maybe around 10, Saturday? I have plans with my mom around two.”

Em took the money, not even counting it. He liked the casual confidence coming from Noa right now. The times he’d seen them upset made him feel protective, but this was nice, like equals. “Yeh, I’ll see you then.” Em stopped in Ciel's room before leaving the hall, and Noa headed to a much needed shower.

Noa checked their phone, having left it to charge while studying. There were a few messages in the group chat, but there were no less than twenty directly from Tani. She’d apologized and they talked over things, but Noa was beginning to feel like there was a lot going on that they didn’t know about it. Rather than rushing to read them, they took their shower, allowing the hot water to relieve their tension.

Ciel looked at Em a little confused. “What do you mean?”

“I get this feeling like Noa is wearing a mask, most of the time. At least around me. Like they’re not being honest with their feelings.”

Ciel chewed on their lower lip and thought for a few moments. “Yeh, I see it.”

“I am just wondering if it’s only around me? Like, I want to be their friend, but I don’t know if I’m just going to make things worse.” Em sat on Ciel’s bed leaning back on some pillows propped up to the wall.

“No, it’s around a lot of people? I mean I’ve seen them be sincere, but, yeh, they seem to be holding back.” Ciel, fidgeted with the hem of their shirt, feeling almost like they were betraying Noa by talking about it. “They haven’t really said anything personal to me, though. I wouldn’t know what could be going on.”

Em sat up quickly, “Oh, no, even if they had, I don’t want you to tell me anything personal. Ciel, I just don’t want to hurt them. But if they’re reserved around most people… Like if it’s not just me, then maybe eventually we can be friends.”

“Just friends?”

Em sighed, “For now? I mean, I’m gay, right?” Em leaned back again. “I definitely want a partner with a dick. That’s the only box on my list of preferences they don’t fill. I don’t think I can figure this out without at least being friends with them.” He almost felt like he was lying to Ciel, but he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that it was still a question. Could he truly like Noa for who they are if there wasn’t a sexual compatibility? Or were his preferences changing, more grey than black and white? He growled in frustration as he sat back up.

“Thank you though. Just knowing that I’m not the only one they’re hiding from gives me hope.”

Ciel shrugged, “They push you away, though. I don’t want you hurt. Be careful, please.”

“Let’s go get dinner.” Em took Ciel by the hand and tugged them from their room, headed to the cafeteria. Noa wasn’t far ahead of them, dressed now in some fuzzy purple PJ pants and a soft pink t-shirt.

Ciel tugged Em’s hand and pulled them up to walk with Noa. They took Noa’s hand with their free one and just walked quietly between them. After having to backtrack with Tani earlier this week, they weren’t too excited about going to dinner, but with both Em and Noa they could get through it. The memories of their embarrassing text rambling skimmed through their mind.

Ciel: I didn’t mean that I like you like I want to date you

Ciel: right now.

Ciel: I mean, I do, but not right now.

Ciel: I like you, but I know you don’t see me that way.

Ciel: and that’s ok.

Ciel: I just want you to know I’m not expecting anything

Ciel: I don’t want it to be weird

Ciel: As friends.

Ciel: I’m sorry.

Ciel: I’m really nervous now

Ciel: can we still be friends?

Ciel: I’m sorry.

Tani: We’re still friends. But no, I don’t see you that way. Sorry.

They rounded the corner and entered the cafeteria. The first of their group to arrive, the trio almost seemed content to be quiet. Mel and Michael arrived, breaking the silence as they discussed some viral video, and before long Em, Ciel, and Noa were all watching it and laughing, breaking the tension. Raina came along with Iris and Tani, but Ciel did their best to not shrink from their arrival. Instead they boldly handed their phone over to Iris to share the video. Dinner dissolved into video sharing and phones being passed around.

Eventually the group broke to return to their dorms. Noa tugged Ciel over and they sat and watched their baking show, again, until Em’s texts told Ciel to go to bed.