Frozen Milk was at a pivotal point in his life. The little wheels in his head turned, creating loud, shrieking, mechanical noises or it could be just the system adding background noises to this elaborate problem.
Even if the protagonist was at the beginning of his massive journey that led to the miracle- the unification of the world, he was fairly strong at the moment. Stronger than the average, so carrying the toilet to the top was not a problem at all for him. But the problem was making the all-mighty, O' so holy protagonist do petty labour like this.
How could Frozen Milk allow this? Especially, if it meant to be alone with the out-of-this-world gorgeous protagonist.
Getting to the top might be easy for the main character but for a pitiful small cannon fodder who would just fall over from a kick and roll to his death, Frozen Milk couldn't even make it to the top within three days.
Most of all, what kept Frozen Milk from wanting to spend even a second with his protagonist was that Frozen Milk actually enjoyed and looked up his fans' works: Fanfiction.
There were tons of lewd, 18+, NSFW, way too mind-blowing naughty stuff on the web by rotten females who loved to see the proud protagonist being a measly, masochist bottom to the devious, strong and violent top villain.
It was a new world for Frozen Milk. If he was honest, he almost did report those fanfics but somewhere along the way it became his third guilty pleasure right after torturing his readers himself.
Frozen Milk's guilty pleasure list consisted of torture mostly:
1. Grade SSS- Torturing readers
2. Grade SS- Reading the hate comments
3. Grade S- Reading about his tortured characters
4. Grade A+- Torturing his own characters
Frozen Milk now thought back and realised what a messed up and not-suitable author he was. He was a bit astonished and shocked at himself. If he was a reader, yeah, he would definitely immediately banish himself as the scum character that'd suffer the most hideous deaths in fanfics or be violated so badly, he'd became a crazy, self-hurting addict.
However, the fanfics proved to Frozen Milk that his readers were also not quite sane in their heads and this fact made him feel better and thinking about the amount of brutality sex provided in those stories, a comforting thought crept into Frozen Milk's mind- he was less of a twisted psycho than his readers.
Did he enjoy those fanfics? – Indeed.
Did he jerk off to them?- No.
Ok, maybe once or twice.
That was why it was even harder for him to look at his protagonist he created with blood and sweat and pure, innocent thoughts. He was like his son but then Frozen Milk tainted this image by watching his son be violated and even got off to it. To be fair, he did write a lot about his son bedding various females, so it also counted as disturbing his son's sexual privacy.
The shame! Lord, the shame! Frozen Milk fell to his knees and kowtowed in front of his protagonist.
"System, can you please, please, please tell me you've got a teleporting feature. I feel like I'm going to drown in shame and embarrassment. Holy shit! Damn! Just get me out of here."
"System's under maintain-"
"Fuck off! Don't screw with me! Fuck you!" Frozen Milk wailed on the ground.
It was an unsightly image, however, there was an upside to it and this highly comforted Frozen Milk. If he felt shame and guilt this meant he actually had a conscience and was not a twisted human being! He was slowly changing into a better person!
"What are you doing?" the protagonist helped Frozen Milk up.
The moment his hands touched Frozen Milk's, this pathetic author felt a heatwave polluting his body and jumped away from the protagonist.
The Beauties! Where are the Beauties? Let me indulge in those soft breasts, plump legs and sexy hips! Let me suffocate between them thick thighs and experience the juicy paradise! Let me drink it all! Come on!
Wait, Frozen Milk realised he wanted to become a monk. He had to rid himself from material and superficial pleasure.
"Let me help you. It's not much," the protagonist indeed carried the blinding 24k (fake) toilet with one arm. Underneath the sunshine, it became a dangerous weapon able to gouge out the eyes of even the most ferocious beasts.
Frozen Milk for the second time experienced shame. What the hell did he buy? He finally came to his senses.
"This must've been expensive. Worry not, I promise I won't break it, so let's go!" his protagonist gave Frozen Milk a dazzling smile, however, this time Frozen Milk's face was just blank, pure blank, blanker than any blank. It was able to put a blank piece of paper to shame.
His protagonist was too naïve and innocent! This massive pile of gold shit was fake! Yes, it was expensive but it was a rip off!
Frozen Milk followed his protagonist. He had to rethink everything, his goal was to become a monk and not interfere with the main story or main characters, yet he met both the villain and protagonist!
Now, Frozen Milk could only hope he wouldn't meet the true protagonist of his book- his author who transmigrated!
The author was the main character, the character the readers followed his journey inside this book. The one who eventually changed the book's storyline.
Now, that Frozen Milk thought about it he actually forgot what role his author played.
"Need some refreshing, host?" the system beeped.
"Now you come out huh? Useless, stingy-"
"I see, host does not want-"
"NO, NO, NO! I'm sorry, forgive me! I'm sorry, please tell me!" Frozen Milk was on his knees in his mind licking up to the system like it was candy.
"Very well, host's wish shall be granted."
Frozen Milk now remembered.
And what clusterfuck he remembered.
Damn. What the hell was this crap?
Of course, what did he expect? He wanted to curse, scream and kick himself.
"Of course, of course, of course, it was like that," tears streamed down his face.
His author was a scum, a twisted scum who valued material possessions over everything else. So, once this author transmigrated into this book and got over the shock, he immediately used his knowledge to become the protagonist himself.
This meant instead of the actual protagonist- carrying the toilet right now- his author unified the world and became the ruler of it and if that wasn't enough, his trashy author killed off the protagonist and villain!
This was how the book was supposed to go! It was awful! No wonder his readers littered every chapter with an abnormal amount of excessive, violent hate. Who would want a shitty character like his author as the main protagonist? Who???
Frozen Milk felt another shocking wave of shame overcome him. He remembered how he enjoyed writing his author more and more of a bastard just to get a kick out of the misfortune of his readers.
The ending where his author killed off the protagonist and antagonist still hasn't been published yet so this meant-
"System, since the book hasn't gotten an ending yet, can it be changed?"
"Yes host, this is possible."
"Is this why I'm here?"
"System's undergoing main-"
"Fine, whatever! Whatever, I'm used to your evading shit. Tell me, who's your superior? Let me write a damn complaint! If you were a blue-collar worker in my world, you've already received an ass kick that straight send you to the unemployment hell!"
"System's currently on holid-"
"Is this all you can say?"
Frozen Milk didn't bother with the system anymore, he got what he wanted.