The new term had arrived sooner than I thought. Thankfully, summer seemed to have gone by quicker than usual. I always dreaded the two-month break, while others seemed to wait for it with great anticipation. The new recruits filed out of the dusty green armored busses. Every year there are around one hundred new students. This year was no different. I watch them take in the campus. Most of them squint as they are met with the blazing sun. The weather is especially brutal today. The heat feels tangible and I shift my body around, hopelessly trying to pick up some semblance of wind. Beside me, Terry’s eyes are hidden behind black sunglasses. He chuckles as a boy trips over a rock. I don’t laugh because I am not a child. I wince when someone reaches his hand out to help him and he rejects it. Pride is a bitch. 

I watch as the fourth year Cyb, Kalen Grey, guides them to the general auditorium, where they will begin their introduction to SFAMS. Grey looks over at me and lifts his head up to say hey. I lift my hand up in response, a pathetic attempt at a wave. He tilts his head, gesturing to join him over by the busses.

“What do you think he wants?” His tone is violent because Terry, for a reason I have yet to understand, absolutely despises Grey. He is definitely a dick but he isn’t that terrible.

“Probably wants me to ask The General something. Maybe he was caught smoking again?”

Terry huffs out an exasperated sigh. “They never learn.”

I jog up to him, dust spraying everywhere as I do so.

“Yeah?”

Grey gives me a pathetic excuse for a smile and says, “Can you ask The General to have mercy on me?”

I hold back whatever nasty comments I have and say, “Sure, but won’t do you any good. He’s disliked me these past few weeks.”

He raises his brows and says, “Better than anyone else. Thanks, Ten.”

I couldn’t argue with that so I nod and run back to where Terry waits with his arms crossed.

“What was it?”

“Exactly what I thought. Gods, wouldn’t you think he would figure out a way to not get detected? How dumb do you have to be?”

“Cybs are underratedly all idiots.” 

I reply with a light snort. It was a ridiculous comment to make. The Cyber Intelligence Unit only housed the best of the best. To even be qualified for the CIU you need to have an above-average IQ. Grey wasn’t stupid, he couldn’t be. He would be thrown out of SFAMS in a second. He is, however, an arrogant asshole. Arrogance never gets you anywhere at the school. Confidence, absolutely, but arrogance? You’re bound to mess up.

The School For Advanced Military Skills was not a place for poor character traits. But if you have hundreds of guys chosen because of their superior skills, you’re also going to be rubbing some egos that were in no need of affection.

“Wanna go to the auditorium? It’s hot as hell.” Terry wipes sweat off of his forehead.

“Yeah, but I’m not looking forward to it.”

“I can’t believe you messed up that bad.” He laughs as he shakes his head.

Every year, The General tries to coerce me into giving the opening remarks for the new recruits. I have successfully gotten out of it every year until this summer when I was caught doing some things that I shouldn’t have been caught doing. Now, the thing is, Grey got caught because he is arrogant. I was caught because I was too aroused to check if the door was locked. So, I guess that makes us different...or so I’d like to think. But it had been a long and rather dull summer of training and I was so sexually frustrated that I decided it would be a good idea to hook up with a random guy in the maintenance closet. Really, it wasn’t a random guy. His name was Jack Nuwborn and he had been trying to get me to act up ever since he got here. He was a second-year CAU and more importantly, very eager. Not that it was that hard to find around here, but he was so insistent that I gave in.

We head towards the large room that would surely be colder than outside. “Wasn’t worth it.”

Terry laughs, “Never is. He brags about it, you know,”

I roll my eyes, “Fucking immature.” 

I was open about being into guys, but it was annoying that someone was going around telling people that I fucked him. I don’t want that kind of reputation. I already have enough people gossiping about me. That’s what get for being a doorstep delivered baby to the most elite military school. I was raised here and that never goes well when I receive special treatment. For one, I had my own room. SFAMS is my home so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have my own room, but when every other guy has to share with a bunch of other guys, it causes some tension. They just don’t get it. When I was transferred to the Cybats, it was rumored that I got in because of favoritism. It wasn’t true. Besides, Cybats had to train double the amount the other units had to. Jealousy can be a real bitch, too.

We walk a few minutes until we reach the auditorium. The room is filled with talking and excitement— perhaps the anticipation of what’s to come. I never understood it, this day. I never had my first day so it seemed so foreign to me. The school was just what I knew, never needing a formal introduction.

“I’m going up, I’ll join you after this shit’s done.” He nods and I grunt my way to the stage. The commanders sit on a line of chairs, crossing the entire stage floor.

“Ten, are you ready?”

The General looks at me, unimpressed by my choice of attire. I had gone for the casual uniform when he specifically asked me to wear the formal one. But it was far too hot for that. I was already heating up in my white shirt and dark polyester pants. At least I wore my formal belt instead of the usual one. But The General knows me better than anyone. More than that, he trusts me. So he doesn’t ask me to go back and change.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m the best one for the job. I don’t know what they’re feeling.”

He gives me an annoyed look and says, “Sure you do.” 

I give him a shrug and turn to face the crowd of boys. I watch as they settle into their seats. Terry stands in the back and Wade walks up next to him. They are the only students that aren’t new recruits. My two closest friends have come to watch me embarrass myself. Wade mockingly smiles at me and I roll my eyes. But it’s nice that they came, even if it is to make fun of me after.

The room settles down and when The General nods at me, I approach the standing microphone.

“Welcome new recruits. I’m sure you are excited to begin at our school. I am Ten, of the Combat Cyber Intelligence Unit, and I have the privilege of welcoming you to the School for Advanced Military Skills.” I watch as they take me in, probably their first time seeing a Cybat. Cybats are a rarity around here and with that comes the annoying look of wonderment when the first see you. It usually fades within a few weeks. I scan the crowd, watching as they whisper things into each other's ears. And then, because something breaks in my soul, I stop. My attention is pinned on the guy with the dark blonde hair. It’s wavy and messy in a wonderful way. His face is bright but his eyes are sunken, almost sad. I can’t see what colors his eyes are because I am too far away. I strain my eyes trying to figure it out when I hear someone clear their throat behind me. Shit, I had nearly forgotten where I was and what I am supposed to be doing. I look at Wade and Terry in the back, slight confusion on their faces. 

I return to the introductory material that The General had given me when I was called into his office for my unprecedented behavior.

“…and if you have questions or need anything after or during orientation, don’t be afraid to approach me.” I give them my best smile and make my way down the stage. Hundreds of curious eyes follow my every movement. I don’t take my eyes off of the guy that for some reason caught my attention.

When I reach my friends, I am still staring at the back of his head.

“Are you good? What happened up there?” Wade speaks in a low whisper, as to not disturb the speaker that followed me. I gestured towards outside. We walk out and all of us hiss at the drastic temperature change.

“There’s a guy here.”

Wade and Terry look at each other, “Yeah, there’s like a hundred guys here.”

I shake my head, “No. Something’s different about him.”

“Different? Is that your way of saying he’s hot?”

“No. I mean, yes, he is. But that’s not what’s different.”

“Ten, what are you even talking about?” 

“His eyes. They are different. Sad.”

“I think you’re having a heat stroke.”

“No. I don’t know. Sorry.”

They both look at me with concern as I struggle to explain myself. But I can’t. I can’t explain the feeling of something breaking within me. I can’t explain why my soul hurt when I looked at him. It still aches.

“Come on, let’s go to the gym. I have to tell you about my summer.” Wade gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder. We walk towards the main campus gym.

I always forget that Wade and Terry have families and friends outside of SFAMS. Most students go home during the summer, but a few remain. I never really left Nevada. I once went to a conference in California with The General, but that’s the only travel I have ever done. My life was at the school. 

The General, or more formally known as, Patrick L. Munan, has fathered me my entire life. Now, I don’t think he would admit it, but he’s the closest thing I have to a parental figure. And while he might never say it, I know he sees me as his own. If nothing else, it’s nice to have that.

“Are you going to work out?”

“Nah, went on a ten-mile run this morning. I’m exhausted.”

Wade, who I know hates running, grimaces, “Why do you do that to yourself?”

I shrug, “Tell me about your summer, Wade. I’ll spot you.” 

We enter the gym. There are a few guys working out but other than that, it’s pretty empty. Most students return tomorrow. Terry had returned a few days ago while Wade just got back this morning.

The three of us have been close since their first year. It was a natural connection, us being in the CCIU. The Cybat unit was small, only around twenty guys. We are all friends and consider each other family. So during the summer, when they all go home, I’m bitchy. It’s something I could never overcome. The General tries making summers good for me but still, summers sucked. Especially when you can’t even get a good lay. 

Wade tells Terry and us about his summer. Sometimes I get jealous of the ease of it—the way he casually could go to a movie and order popcorn and sodas. Or how he goes to parties and gets wasted. We have parties here but getting drunk is not recommended. Well, not if you don’t want to get kicked out.

“Maddy says hi, by the way. She asked me to tell you to text her. I don’t know why.”

“Maybe she’s trying to make you jealous?” Terry laughs at his absurd comment as he ties his shoes.

“It only works sometimes. She knows you like dick. Still hurts when she has pictures of you saved to her camera roll.”

“She what?”

“I don’t know, she’s weird.”

“Where did she get a picture of me?”

“She follows your Instagram. Stop posting shirtless pics. It’s annoying.”

“Wade, why does your girlfriend save his pics?” Terry seems concerned. To be fair, I am too.

“She thinks you’re the hottest guy to exist.” Wade doesn’t seem bothered by what he just said which in itself is troubling.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Not your fault you’re a good looking dude. Just text her so she stops bugging me about it.”

I look at Terry and he shrugs so I pull out my phone and find her contact. I text her: Hey! How’s it going?

“Alright, stop stalling. I doubt you trained during the summer.”

Wade scoffs and says, “Fuck no. It’s the summer.” 

Terry rolls his eyes, “You’re gonna get crushed in the fights.”

“Yeah, because I’m alway paired with Ten. It’s honestly unfair.”

The first week of the new term meant organized competition to weed out the weaker recruits. For Combats, it was anything from boxing matches to sword fights. Cybs was more of hacking and knowledge-based testing. For Cybats, it was a week of physical and mental challenges. Most of us end up crashing at the end of the week. But Wade is right, it’s an unfair match. Wade might be an excellent fighter, but I train the entire summer. No one ever beats me during the first week. 

My phone vibrates in my hand. It’s Maddy. Ten! I’m so glad you texted. It’s going good, especially now that you texted me ;)

I stare down at the text as I ask “Wade, how serious are you and Maddy?”

As he switches swings a barbell between his legs he says, “Dunno, been dating for a few months. But you know, time works differently when all you’ve got is a few weekends and the summer.” He grunts as he swings the weight back and forth. 

“She’s outright flirting with me. That’s not alarming to you?”

He puts the weight down and shrugs, “If I liked guys, I’d flirt with you too.”

Terry, now sitting on the floor stretching says, “Ten, just don’t get her hopes up.”

I lean against the wall and write back: Cool, with Wade at the gym :)

Maybe she needs a reminder that her boyfriend is one of my best friends? She immediately responds: Send pics. 

“She wants a pic.”

Wade comes over to me, “Of what?”

“Maybe of you? Here,” I hand him a twenty-pound weight, “pretend you’re working out.”

“I am working out.” But he takes the weight and I snap a pic and send it.

In response: Of you, silly

 “Wade, this is weird.”

“Maybe she’s trying to set you up?”

“Yeah? And how would that work? I never leave the campus.” But I flip the camera and take a selfie. I give a closed-mouth smile with a thumbs up. Honestly the straightest picture I have ever taken.

She replies: God, you’re hot. What about a d pic? 

I flip my phone to show Wade and Terry. “Wade, seriously, what the fuck?”

Wade wipes his sweaty forehead and sighs, “Maybe we aren’t as good as I thought? You gonna send?”

Terry replies to the idiot for me, “Why the actual fuck would he send her a picture of his dick? In what world would that be a good idea?”

I write back: Sorry, can’t help with that one :/

When I turn off my phone, I realize the time, “Shit, guys, dinner. It’s 1900, we’ve got thirty to get ready.”

We drop what we are doing because if there is one thing you don’t do in SFAMS, is be late to a meal. As we walk back to the rooms, I think about the boy with blonde hair and why I felt that way when I looked at him.