Andy walked quickly down the hallway toward his brother's chemistry class. He knew his brother's schedule like he knew his own, in case they ever wanted to switch classes. They did, occasionally.

Andy and Ryan Shawford were the youngest of the Shawford children, and the only two that have successfully stayed in their conservative parents' good graces. As identical twins, only their mother and a sober father could really tell them apart by a glance alone.

Ryan was sitting in the third row from back, and was barely listening to a word the teacher said about anything chemistry-related. For someone who rarely ever talked, Ryan was a very smart person. Andy always assumed he didn’t pay attention because he never struggled. But the forlorn look on his face today was different. Ryan wouldn’t say, but he was definitely upset by his father's death. It was amazing they were at school today at all.

Andy waved his arms frantically in the door window to get his brother's attention. Ryan didn’t notice. A girl beside him, Rain Tracy, did. She lightly waved to Ryan under the desk and pointed at Andy. Ryan nodded silently and stood.

He didn’t even bother asking to use the restroom as he collected his things and left in the middle of the lecture. The teacher didn’t bother trying to get an explanation from him. Ryan almost never spoke to anyone but Andy, and even then his words were far and in-between. For the most part, Ryan depended on sign language to communicate.

“Isn’t mom at her appointment?” Ryan signed to his brother as they walked down the hallway. Andy pulled out the phone and checked it. Matt’s call was about twenty minutes ago now, and he said he’d be here soon.

“Matt is picking us up and taking us to mom. She’ll try and put off seeing dad in the morgue for as long as possible, so we have to make sure it happens.” Andy explained. He signed a few of the words, but stopped mid-way to check his phone again. Ryan had no problems hearing. Just speaking.

“She won’t let Matt anywhere near him,” Ryan signed as soon as Andy had looked up from his phone. Ryan had signed it as a statement, but they both knew it was more of a ‘what are you going to do about that’ question.

Andy considered for a moment. Matt was second to be ostracized from the Shawford home, and had since made his own way with Patrick Colgait. They hadn’t seen Matt in nearly a year, but had the occasional phone call to remind Andy and Ryan that he was still alive. Once, Ryan even facetimed Matt to use sign language. But none of that mattered if their mother refused to even let him in the morgue with her. Matt deserved to see his father as much as Andy and Ryan did, but maybe their mother didn’t think so.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if he’ll be invited to the funeral.” Andy grumbled. There was no clear answer for any of the Shawford kids. Jamie already told Andy that she’d come home this morning, and Daniel said the same at near four in the morning. They would be here, but would they be allowed to sit through the service? Carry dad’s coffin out of the church? Follow the hearse to the cemetery? Andy sincerely doubted it.

“It wouldn’t be fair if they couldn’t come,” Ryan said aloud. They were standing in the front office now. Matt couldn’t be much longer now.

The sound of Ryan’s voice shocked Andy. But Andy didn’t know what to say in response that wouldn’t be the cruel truth. Andy was older than Ryan by twenty five minutes, and as the slightly older brother, felt obligated to protect him. But how was he supposed to explain that their brothers - and sister- weren’t coming to attend the funeral? How was Andy supposed to tell Ryan that their siblings were happy he was dead? Maybe not happy- but at least conflicted?

“I- I don’t think they care if they go to the funeral or not.” Andy said gently. He gripped his backpack strap like it was the only rope keeping him from drowning in quicksand.

“I know. I meant it wouldn’t be fair that they wouldn’t get to see him dead. See that he could never hurt them again.” Ryan signed. It was back to quick and messy hand gestures that Andy struggled to keep up with. Maybe Ryan signed this because it was the dirty, ugly, truth and to say it aloud would be asking for trouble.

“Okay.” Andy said to end the conversation. Maybe it wasn’t a need to protect his little brother. Maybe Andy just couldn’t say the truth out loud. He just couldn’t face that reality yet.

A moment later, Matt pulled up in an old purplish-maroon truck. Andy spotted Patrick in the passenger’s seat. Personally, Andy didn’t believe homosexuality was right, and he’d never participate in it. But his beliefs were his and his alone, and Andy would never push those ideas onto anyone else. Especially not his brother. He wondered about what Ryan thought about it though. They’ve never talked about it.

Matt signed them out, even though the front desk lady had mentioned never seeing him before. Andy and Ryan climbed into the backseat and put their bags on the ground. Patrick turned to smile, but didn’t say anything. It was one of those moments, Andy knew. That moment when someone is supposed to say “my condolences” or “I’m sorry for your loss,” but Patrick spared Andy the annoyance by saying nothing. Andy always liked that about Patrick. He knew when saying nothing was better than dragging everyone down.

“Alright, lets go pick up mom.” Anyone could tell Matt was not excited about that.