The Cult of Gardeners is a decentralized, generally harmless group scattered across the United States. Their main goal is to grow food crops. Some Gardeners prefer flowers, houseplants, or other forms of Gardening and are considered a rare subtype that appear to be growing in number. This surge is believed to be the result of social media, which has introduced large numbers to the joys of Gardening. 

The Cult of Gardeners is a relatively modern evolution of agricultural and fertility cults found around the world since the dawn of agriculture. The Cult is generally believed to originate sometime after the Great Depression, although a specific date is impossible to name. Their advent is believed to be closely tied to the decline in small scale farming and home gardens in the United States. Gardeners often have ties to other movements, generally those calling for a return to historical or more ecologically friendly methods. 

They are almost always opposed to big agriculture. This opposition is believed to stem from a number of different beliefs. One is their opposition monetization and patenting of crops. This is antithetical to the Gardener belief in open pollination, which allows fertile seeds to be harvested, as well as the belief that you cannot patent something as sacred as a plant. Gardeners also generally believe that the use of herbicides, pesticides, and chemical fertilizers are disruptive to the natural balance and to be avoided. They recommended practices such as companion planting, compost or natural fertilizers, and encouraging beneficial species such as lady bugs as alternatives to using chemicals.

Most Gardeners place a strong emphasis on Heirloom crops and seed saving practices. They believe that the bounty of the Earth should be shared and can often be found at farmer's markets and gifting produce to friends and neighbors during the growing season. Many Gardeners believe that there is a hierarchy to fruits, although there is no widespread consensus on this hierarchy. 

The most prized of the Heirloom crops are generally regarded as tomatoes. Gardeners generally deride the supermarket varieties as being disappointing at best and an insult to tomatoes at the worst. Many Gardeners are known to wax poetic about their favorite tomato varieties and regard tomatoes as some of the most coveted homegrown produce. Most Gardeners grow more than a single variety of tomato, indicating their prized status within the Cult.

The only exception to Gardener's worship of the fruits of the Earth would be some squash, but most specifically the Zucchini. Even most non-Gardeners in agricultural areas are familiar with the unbridled hatred that Zucchini arouse. The reason for this hatred is the sheer bounty the average plant produces, leaving any Gardener with more Zucchini than they can possibly use. This has led to the advent of such Gardener high holy days, such as "The Zucchini Trade" or "Leave a Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Night." Both aim to reduce the number of Zucchini in any one Gardener's possession, although the first generally proves more beneficial. The later, generally occurs around August in the Northeast portion of the US, the peak in Zucchini production. It is not a widely recognized holiday outside of the Cult. Other Zucchini related festivities include the creation of absurd recipes using Zucchini, competing for largest Zucchini and Zucchini art. These rituals are generally agreed to promote good luck and fertile fields for the coming year.