Ocean headed in the bathroom and relieved himself. While he was washing his hands, he felt rather nauseous and his mind was slowly detaching. He hung on from the brim of the sink, his wet fingers grasping the white enamel. His spine curved as he prepared himself to vomit. He gagged and waited but nothing was coming out. Almost relieved, Ocean let the tap run again and splashed his face vigorously. He felt better, but the weird floating feeling was still there. He looked at himself in the mirror.

“Hey,” the raven-haired boy whispered as his image replaced Ocean’s reflection.

“What are you doing here?” Ocean said, clenching his teeth.

“I’m just saying hi. Don’t you miss me?”

“Go. Away. You’re not real. Not any more.”

“How rude,” said the Raven and puckered his lips. He knocked on the glass, making the whole mirror shake. Ocean jumped back in surprise, letting out a gasp. Raven laughed and placed his index against the mirror. “Wanna see a magic trick, Oisín?” 

Without waiting for any response, the boy added pressure on his finger and slowly came out of the mirror, black gooey substance leaking from the edges.

Ocean, terrified, hastily opened the door, locked it and got out of his bedroom, trying to catch his breath. The first thing he saw was Takehiko on the opposite side of the room, sitting on the stool asleep, using his arms as a pillow. He let out a sigh of relief. 

His peace, however, didn’t last very long, as out of nowhere he felt a cold gust piercing his abdomen. He looked down. An ivory white hand with veins blue like azurite was going through his stomach. Then the whole arm. A head. Then the rest of the Raven’s body slid through Ocean like a baby escaping its mother’s womb, leaving him frozen cold. 

His weak trembling legs gave out and he fell on the floor with a thump. He watched as the Raven was spreading his wings and soaring over the sleeping Takehiko, like a vulture over carrion. Finally, the Raven stopped right behind Takehiko and placed his palms over the brunet’s back.

“What are you doing?” Ocean growled.

“I have just one more magic trick up my sleeve for tonight. Behold!” Raven said majestically and ran his fingers down Takehiko’s spine as if he was unzipping a hazmat suit, split the flesh in two and stepped in, one foot at a time.

Ocean covered his mouth with his hand to prevent it from opening wide and scream. That didn’t stop his eyes popping out his skull in bewilderment. His racing heart was struggling to get out of his chest and an icy sweat was running across his temple. He gulped.

Takehiko remained still for a moment until his torso hitched up and the head turned towards Ocean, the cracking noise of his joints resonating across the room. His eyes began swirling around. They were leaking black liquid from his tear ducts, then the sides, then the middle. He brought his hand upon the cheekbones and swiped them downwards, smudging the ink along the way.

“Takehiko?” Ocean whimpered.

“Guess again,” the boy grinned with a crooked grin.

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing, just visiting.”

“Stop it, get out! You don’t belong in there!”

“Why are you complaining?” Takehiko said, his voice gradually changing pitch and accent. “You wear a human suit every day yourself, so.”

“What do you want?” Ocean’s voice was trembling.

“I told ye, just visiting. Cronaím thú, Oisín. Are ye visiting any time soon?”

Ocean nodded. “Same time, same day. I always do.”

“Not last year.”

“Is that why you keep coming?”

Takehiko cocked his head to the side in the most unnatural way, his ear almost touching his shoulder. His veins were popping under his skin ready to burst. “You’re the one seeking me, Oisín.”

“Stop saying that name at least.”

“Why? It is your name.”

“You gave me a different one, remember?”

Takehiko giggled and as he did the black liquid ran from the edges of his mouth. “So I did. But your eyes don’t look the same anymore. Your ocean is gone.”

“I never had one, to begin with. You’re just seeing what you want to see.”

Takehiko stood up and stooped over the blond. A thin line of black drool slowly trickled on Ocean’s forehead and the strong physical body was shed, dropping on the floor with a loud thump, leaving the blackened soul of the Raven hovering over. He crouched and touched the man’s sweaty cheek.

“There was once an Ocean filling those moonlight eyes. Strong, almost overwhelming. I could lose myself in that Ocean. But now, it’s aaaall dried up, like the desert. I used to see all the constellations and the galaxies inside those eyes. Now they’ve drowned. Suffocated. There’s only an empty silence. I miss this Ocean. I miss my Ocean.” 

The Raven got even closer and laid a dark kiss on Ocean’s lips. And in a thick dark cloud, just like the one Ocean’s cigarettes burn into, he disappeared.

There was once an Ocean… I miss this Ocean. My Ocean.

❦

“Ocean, Ocean, wake up!”

Ocean opened his eyes. He was sitting on the tiles of his bathroom floor, propped against the wall. Takehiko was squatting before him, the expression on the boy’s face was filled with worry.

“Are you okay? You passed out! Did you hit your head? How are you feeling?”

Those are some very good questions, Ocean thought and let a grunt out. He stood up and, with Takehiko’s help, lay down on his bed. “I’m not sure what happened. I do remember feeling dizzy, though. I’m probably just tired. I’ll be fine. You should go, Aya must be waiting. I’m sorry I couldn’t hang out with you on your birthday. I’ll get you a present tomorrow, is that alright?”

Takehiko laughed with surprise. “Don’t worry about gifts and such. Are you sure you’re feeling alright? I don’t mind staying a bit more. Or you can come along! I’ll make sure Aya tones it down.”

Ocean looked at Takehiko and returned a smile. When he noticed a black smudge on Takehiko’s right cheek, though, his lips curved into a frown. He tried to wipe it with his thumb.

“What? Do I have something on me?”

“Just a smear.”

“Oh, I must’ve touched something. Anyway, are you sure you don’t want to come upstairs with me? Or I can just bring Aya here. We should all celebrate together!”

“No, I think I should get some sleep. Having Aya around is the last thing my head needs right now. Just make sure you leave some cake for me. I’ll come over for tea once I’m done with work tomorrow.”

And as Takehiko left to celebrate his birthday, Ocean turned on his side and looked at the empty wall. This was, by far, the weirdest trick his mind had played. It felt almost insulting that the memory of his most beloved person had been twisted this much. 

He would’ve never done anything like that. I must’ve imagined everything. It felt so real. Oh God, I hope it wasn’t.

He clasped his pillow tight between his arms and for the first time after more than ten years, he prayed.