Ladybugs and little flies flitted through the air with all of the excitement of early spring. A bluish haze of woodsmoke coming from a neighbor’s house peeked out from behind the trees, dissipating into their yard. Kaide sat on a stone on the edge of his garden patch, meticulously sorting through radish sprouts. He’d pick up one clump and carefully pull each little pink-white stem free, then pull the extra dirt free from their tiny, stringy roots. Wren lounged in the grass a little ways away, staring drowsily at the little buds of new life pushing out of the dirt. The heart-shaped heads of radish sprouts grew in tight clusters where Kaide had accidentally sprinkled in too many seeds. Spinach prospered in a cold frame by the side of the house, a bed of kale starting to put up silvery leaves beside it. The earth was jostled and deep, rich brown where Kaide had sown in lines of peas earlier that day. The wind sung softly, and the trees rattled their replies with old lungs.

“..Do you like Trace?” Kaide asked quietly, not daring to look up from his work.

“Hm?” Wren asked absently, gaze foggy.

“Trace. Are you and him friends now?” Kaide hoped he didn’t sound as insecure as he felt. His hands kept fiddling through the nervous actions of cleaning the radish sprouts, trying to appear disinterested.

Wren slowly woke up, hand tensing in the dirt as he tried to ground himself. His expression grew more troubled, until finally he looked at Kaide, brows furrowed. “..I don’t suppose we ever… Stopped. Being friends, I mean.”

“Right.” Yeah, right. Kaide would believe that when he saw a single present Trace had ever gotten for Wren.

“Are you still mad at him, Kaide?”

Kaide’s hands fell still. He stared at the soft transition between pink and white, drawing in a long, slow breath, as if to test the embers resting in his chest. Was he still mad? Was he really still angry about something that happened five years ago? It wasn’t like he was expecting Trace to keep him out of jail completely, or even lower his sentence. But Trace had been there for Lily when they were going through court, so why was Kaide different? Why had Trace turned his back on him? Why wasn’t he good enough?

“Kaide?”

Kaide exhaled, quickly releasing his fist. The radish sprouts had turned into a wilted, weak mess in his palm. He set them down, brushing his hand off on his pants, looking aside, ashamed of himself. How come he was still so angry? He should be better than this. The anger he felt, now directed at himself, redoubled and roiled into an ocean in his stomach.

“Sorry. I guess… Yeah. I guess I am. I shouldn’t be, I know. I should let it go already, but he turned his back on me. ..I guess I’m just scared that if I let my walls down, and try to be friends with him after all these years, he’s just gonna leave again.” Kaide frowned, rubbing the pads of his fingers together, feeling the grit of dirt on the ridges of his fingerprints. “Once he gets enough money saved up, he’s going to move back to Boston, or find some other way out. He’s gonna forget about us all over again, and when right when I think I can lean on him, he’s gonna let me fall.”

Wren stared at Kaide silently, now fully awake, the concern evident in his face. The silence stretched between them for a moment, filled by the wind brushing past their shoulders. Wren shifted closer to his friend, resting his hand on Kaide’s arm, gently drawing his attention. The stone he used as a chair propped Kaide to the perfect height, so that Kaide barely had to lift his head to look Wren in the eyes, then back down, still upset at himself.

“It’s stupid. I know.” He picked at a scab on the back of his hand, dejected.

“It isn’t stupid. It makes sense why you feel that way. It’s okay to be upset. Him, coming back so suddenly, probably stirred up a lot of anger in you.” Wren let his hand trail away, looking back over the garden. “Maybe Trace will leave again. We all will, someday. Maybe the two of you can make it a better leaving this time, maybe he’ll learn to hold on a little tighter. It might only be for a short while, but maybe the two of you can make some happy memories together again.”

Kaide shivered weakly, turning his head to the side. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs, trying to compress his body a little closer. He felt cold and small, even as warmly bundled as he was against the early spring chill. Wren slipped in closer to him, putting an arm around the shorter man and pulling him close. Kaide breathed in sharply, surprised by the sudden warmth and closeness. He could feel the strength hidden in Wren’s wiry limbs, and couldn’t find the strength within himself to resist against it.

“And… For what it’s worth, Kaide, I’m not planning on leaving you. I like it right here with you. This house, your garden, my bakery… We’ve got roots here, literal and metaphorical. You’ll always have me.”

That made Kaide look up. He stared at Wren, as if trying to determine if he were lying, if he was trying to make fun of Kaide. He was so frightened of the traps hidden behind people’s teeth. He tensed, mouth set into a wary frown. Wren simply smiled at him, leaning into Kaide slightly. Kaide gave in, leaning back into Wren, closing his eyes and tucking his head close to his shoulder. It was hard trying to resist his heart all the time.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much you mean to me, Wren.”

“I can bet it’s about as much as you mean to me.”

Wren laid his head over Kaide’s, holding him loosely in the garden. The bugs continued to drone on in their merry, short lives, drunk on a robin’s egg sky. Around the pair, little things continued to grow, stretching toward the sky, pulling themselves up and out of the earth. Branches mottled with lichen and burdened with small, bright green buds swayed overhead, scratching the soft undersides of the breeze. A pileated woodpecker’s call rattled through the woods, announcing the coming rain. The two sat, warm and unaware.