Alexei gets up to pull out my chair so I can sit down. I remove my gloves and place them on the table as we wait for the tea to arrive.

“How is your education coming along?” Alexei asks. I know he means to be kind with his question, but I am so worried I might fail these exams and have to continue my education for another whole year.

I wish I could sigh here without getting in trouble. Instead, I just shrug, “I don’t know. I’m doing my best but there is so much to learn. There are so many things my mom understands that I just don’t.”

He smiles, a small piece of sadness lingering behind his eyes visible only to me.

“I know you will figure it out. I hope it doesn’t take too long,” there is still a hint of worry in his expression, but his excitement is palpable now.

“What is it?” I am almost bursting from curiosity but Alexei is unbothered. It is nice that he knows me, not just the me who is allowed out in public.

“I was going to save the news for our meeting with your family this weekend, but I can’t.” He takes my hand in his and looks at me so intently the rest of the world falls away like a curtain dropping from the sky.

He takes a deep breath, “I’ve been offered the position at McKenrick’s.”

My brain screams with excitement at the news, but I manage to keep my face neutral. A position of his own means he can finally leave his parents' house. And if I have a companion with his own house, that means I can soon hope to leave mine.

I was careful to compose myself before I spoke, “That is wonderful news, Alexei. I’m sure mother and father will be so pleased to hear of your success.”

I smile at him, letting him know I feel more strongly than I am letting on. He smiles back.

It isn’t until I hear someone clearing their throat at the table beside us that I realize he is still holding my hand. I rip it back towards my body and fold my hands into my lap. I wonder who else had seen. I take a brief glance around the cafe and don’t see anyone I know to be trouble, but you can never be sure who might relay information to the police.

Alexei looks even more white than usual, like all the blood has drained from his face. I can’t be sure what he is thinking, but I know what just happened isn’t good. It seems no matter how careful I am to follow the rules, my emotions frequently get the better of my brain.

He still looks worried when he finally speaks again, “I would be delighted to escort you home so I can inform your parents of this development.”

“Yes, I think that would be best,” I try to breathe. This wasn’t my first time doing something I wasn’t supposed to do, but there is something about this that makes me think it might be a lot worse than accidentally stepping over a puddle rather than walking around it.