Chapter Two: Harder to Breathe 3/3

“Someone calling?” he asked.

I shook my head, “Alarm.”

We both sat there silently.

“What’s our plan for next weekend?” I asked.

“Another double date,” he stated, “I suggested we do something different this time.”

I nodded, “I don’t think I can handle another chick flick,” I admitted.

He nodded, and we were back to silence.

“About the scars,” I said.

He shook his head, “I won’t talk to you about it.”

I felt a little rejected, but I nodded.

It made sense, of course, but now I knew I was going to wonder about them.

“So,” I said awkwardly.

“What was the alarm for?” he asked.

“Pregnancy test,” I shrugged.

He looked at me, almost like he was disgusted with me.

“It was a joke,” I said, “I was waiting for the laundry to be done.”

The previous expression was gone, he almost looked a little irritated.

“You just got here, and you’re already doing laundry?” he asked.

“It’s not all mine,” I said, “Benny needed to wash some stuff, and she said I could put a few of my things in.”

He nodded, but he pulled his phone out and typed something in.

My brain decided that it was a text to a girl.

We both just stared at each other.

At first, I got the feeling he didn’t trust people, but it makes me wonder what he is willing to do to get close to people.

“You’re wondering something,” he stated, “Just say it.”

“You don’t trust people,” I said, “And it makes me wonder, that girl from yesterday, does she get to call you King?”

He looked at me, but it was more like a glare.

“You said to say it.”

I felt my face getting red. I was embarrassed for bringing the girl up without even really thinking about it.

“No, she doesn’t.”

I just stared at him. I was far too curious about him.

“Is that what you meant by knowing you?” I asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

I nodded slowly, “I’m sorry.”

“Ren?” I heard my name.

I turned around, but no one was there.

“Benny,” he said before sighing.

He looked irritated.

“I know you don’t know me very well,” I stated, “But I feel like you and I are similar.”

I looked back to see his expression. I could tell that he thought I was full of shit.

“We’re not that similar,” he stated.

“How would you know?” I asked, “You don’t know me.”

“You find comfort by hurting yourself,” he stated, “I find comfort in a woman.”

I looked at him before getting to my feet “It doesn’t sound very different at all.”

He stared at the metal bars “Our pain is different.”

“Something, our parents started,” I said.

He looked startled by my words.

“Again,” I began, “I know I’m new here, and new to the group, but I know everyone does something for a reason.”

“That notebook,” he said, “What do you write in it?”

I forced a smile on my face, “Well, King,” I said, “I remind myself every day what I am here for, and why I need to stay.”

“How depressing” he didn’t acknowledge what I called him.

“I also wanted to thank you,” I said.

“For what?” he seemed irritated.

“I know it wasn’t a real date,” I smiled to myself, “But I had a good time, and I thought it was a good first date, so thank you.”

“You’ve never been on a date?” he asked me, surprised.

I looked to the side to avoid his gaze.

“Hey!”

I felt a jolt of fear run down my spine. She nearly gave me a heart attack.

“What are you two doing?”

“Hey, Benny,” Michael greeted her, not showing any real emotion.

I looked back at her and grinned, “Hey Benny.”

She grinned back, “What’s up?”

She sat next to me and left the hamper right behind her.

“Took you long enough,” Michael said.

She turned to glare at him “Well, I tend to lag when I get messages like that.”

I was confused, and he just laughed. It was the first time I heard him laugh. I was struck first by the sound, then by the smile that remained on his face.

She showed me the text message from Michael, and I understood why she would lag.

From: Michael – ‘Whore come get your laundry.’

“I was wondering how you knew I was doing laundry,” she said.

We all sat there, I felt a little awkward, and I could feel him looking at me.

“I thought you had plans,” Benny stated.

I looked up to see him glaring at her.

“She’s too clingy. I didn’t feel like going out.”

“Does this girl have a name?” Benny asked.

“It’s not relevant.”

“Is she anything like the last one?” she asked.

She was trying to piss him off, I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but I did, and she was.

The atmosphere somehow turned hostile, and I didn’t know what to do.

“No.”

It was more awkward than it was before.

Benny looked my way.

I smiled instinctively at her.

“What were you guys talking about?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he snapped.

He was clearly in a bad mood now. I just didn’t understand why.

“Ren?” she turned my way.

I was being called out, and I’m not really sure what to say.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Michael interrupted me.

“Benny,” he hissed.

She didn’t seem phased by his anger at all.

“Ren?” she asked again.

I looked back and forth between them, “I plead the fifth.”

“Isn’t your husband in need of attention?” he asked her.

She shrugged, “My husband knows I am a curious person.”

“Go away, Benny.”

She just laughed, “Alright, you guys can be alone again.”

I hate to say it, but she ruined the moment.

Benny stood up and grabbed the basket, “I’ll put your stuff on your bed.”

I nodded, “Thank you.”

“Later, grumpy,” she said to Michael before walking off.

It was silent for a minute.

“Do you want me to go?” I asked.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said, “She has no restraint when it comes to personal business.”

“She worries about you,” I said, “She loves you.”

“I know,” he sighed, “But she’s trying to get you and me together, or have you not noticed?”

I mean, she did make that comment earlier, but I didn’t really expect her to act on it.

I made a face, “I guess I didn’t notice.”

“Virgin.”

“Ass.”

He smiled, “I should go.”

To be honest, it was a beautiful one. The ends of his mouth curled up just a little, and it made me stare at his lips. His bottom lip was fuller, while his top lip was a little thinner. His teeth were a bit crooked, but that didn’t take away just how stunning he was when he smiled. Wait… did I just say stunning?

I nodded, “So should I.”

Neither one of us moved.

“Are you nervous about your first day?” he asked.

I had to think about it. “To be honest, I don’t know.”

“I couldn’t deal with that many fucking cunts at once.”

Well, that escalated quickly.

“What’s your max?” I asked, “Two or three?”

“One,” he stated, “That’s why I am mean to women.”

“We deserve it sometimes,” I nodded, “I know it.”

“They deserve it,” he stated.

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

There was another moment of silence.

“What about mini-golfing?” he asked.

I looked at him, confused, “What?”

“Mini-golfing,” he repeated.

“For next week?” I asked.

He shrugged, “It was just an idea.”

I smiled wide, “I’ve never been mini-golfing before, it sounds fun.”

He nodded, “I’ll run it by Gus and Benny.”

“Okay.”

His phone went off, and he looked irritated.

“What?” he demanded.

His pleasant demeanor instantly turned sour.

I heard a female voice, and she was yelling.

“I’m not some fucking pet you can pick up whenever you feel lonely,” he growled.

I felt like I shouldn’t be here right now. I was overhearing something I had no business overhearing.

“You think I give a fuck?” he hissed.

I pulled my legs closer to me, and I just moved a little to a random tune in my head.

He listened to her bitch about something. I could almost hear her clearly.

“And?” he asked, “Don’t feel bad for me. Your pity is fucking useless to me.”

She yelled something else.

“Do you cling to every guy that fucks you?” he asked, “Or am I just the lucky one?”

She got louder.

“Are you done?” he asked calmly.

She was anything but calm.

He hung up the phone.

“I can barely handle one,” he sighed.

“I know what you mean,” I mumbled.

“If you weren’t a virgin, I’d recommend coming to you for comfort.”

I made a face.

“There are quite a few ways we can do it if you want to keep your hymen intact.”

I wasn’t sure how to feel right now. I liked him, yeah, but not enough to spread my legs for him.

“You should call her back,” I said as I stood up, “Either that or you could just go fuck yourself.”

“Real classy Ren.”

“I could say the same,” I hissed, “I guess this is what I get for thinking I could just be your friend.”

He looked up at me “You are just like every girl that talks to me. First, you are hopeful, and you try your hardest to get me to notice, and not too long after that, just a glance from me and your legs are going to hate each other.”

The way he said it, I don’t know how, but I felt his words between my legs.

“You’re an idiot,” I hissed “I don’t know why you’re suddenly acting like a jerk, but you need to hurry up and get over yourself.”

He stood up and walked away.

What an asshole! Why did I stay when he was on the phone? Clearly, he is insecure about himself, but who the hell isn’t?

I felt the tears coming, but I shook my head and willed them away.

I had to be strong. I had to breathe, and I had to try and forget the end of our conversation. Somehow, I knew he was going to try to talk to me later, like nothing ever happened, especially in front of Benny.

I sighed before pulling my phone out of my pocket to check the time, but I was surprised when I saw that I had a message.

From: Michael – ‘I’m sorry, forgive me.’

I stared at the message, and I felt a lump in my throat. It was something my mother would always say, and for some reason, I must enjoy the abuse because I replied with one word.

To: Michael – ‘Always’

He might take it the wrong way, but I knew he was more like me, even if he didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t know how I knew something traumatic happened to him, but I did.

I just need to move forward and get through my time here.

Part of me knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I know he and I will be seeing a lot of each other.

I stared at the blank screen on my phone for a few minutes, maybe expecting a reply, or hoping for one. I didn’t know, but I put my phone back in my pocket before going to my room.

++++++++++++

Benny has been nagging me.

Apparently, Michael went back to his room in a bad mood, and immediately Gus told Benny.

“I don’t know,” I told her.

“Ren,” she said, “Don’t hold out on me.”

“I don’t know why he is in a bad mood,” I stated, “All I know is that his girlfriend called, and they were fighting. I don’t know why, and I don’t know what happened.”

She stared at me.

“I don’t know, Benny,” I sighed.

“Alright,” she said, “I believe you.”

I nodded. It was over now.

“Shower?” she asked me.

I nodded, feeling mentally and physically tired.

That was the last thing I did before going to sleep.

Monday, my first day of school here, was there when I woke up.