3/04/2020

Amory:

    It has been a little over a week since my uncle found me. I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that I have family, other than my father. I am desperately trying not to think of how mad my father is or how soon he will find me. Aylward and Haven have been cautious around me, giving me some time and space to process. Aylward has been researching nonstop. I don’t know what he is researching, but it keeps him from pacing nervously and looking at me every three seconds.

     Haven is much calmer. He just sits quietly, studying spells or cataloging medicinal herbs he finds outside. There is no nervous energy coming from him, just quiet patience while I figure everything out. It is calming to just sit on the sofa next to him while he reads, or to curl up in the chair and watch him sort his herbs.

     He has also overseen feeding us. I have been informed that Aylward is not allowed to cook after he burnt a dinner so bad, he almost caught the woods on fire. So, right now, I am helping Haven get dinner ready. I can't do much to help, but I can cut up some vegetables and follow his directions. Aylward comes into the kitchen and for once he does not seem nervous but determined. He seems like he finally made up his mind about a hard decision.

     "We need to keep moving," he looks between me and Haven waiting for an objection.

     "Ok," I answer. "Where to?"

     He looks surprised that there are no arguments from me and lets a few stutters out before he takes a deep breath.

     "I thought you would put up more of a fight," his look of confusion makes me laugh quietly.

     "Well, I've come to terms with the fact that my father is more than just an abusive asshole. He is a grade-A psychopath that is power hungry and willing to kill anyone that gets in his way, including me. I've learned, but not come to terms with, the fact my mother didn't just abandoned me, but loved me with every ounce of her being and died protecting me. I've also learned that I have a pretty amazing uncle, and a new friend, that are willing to put their safety on the line for me. I don’t need to know more than that. I trust you and I know how insane my father can get when he thinks someone's stolen his possession." I see so many looks go across Aylward's face after I say that. Guilt, shame, anger, devastation, and ending on sorrow. Haven just has sympathy for me and my uncle pouring from him. He is the quiet calm amidst the chaos of me and my uncle. Haven was a calm that my uncle wanted to be, but his emotions were way too close to the surface right now.

     "Well, we need to start heading back the Celestial Kingdom," Aylward starts pacing again. "Your father probably already has an army sent out for you. We will have to go back using unconventional routes, possibly going into the human realm. Tonight, after we eat, we can all sit down and come up with a plan." He turns and walks out of the kitchen leaving me and Haven there to finish dinner.

     "I wish I knew him before he was this.... worried," I let out a big sigh and go to sit at the table.

     "You mean everything to him. He was an emotional mess before we found you. Night terrors about losing your mother, not being able to find you in time. His whole existence has been to protect the Heir. He feels as though he failed once and I don’t think he will relax, even a tiny bit, until you are at least back home, but probably not until you ascend," Haven comes and sits across from me while the food is cooking in the oven. 

     "I just wish I could know him as my uncle, not just my protector. Have him be the person I go to when I have a crush or when I need a quiet place to escape. I don’t have that. I never have. All I want is a safe place where I can just be for a few minutes. Where I'm not The Heir, or my kingdoms last hope of defeating darkness," my head is in my hands and I can feel a few tears slip out. I'm so tired of crying. "I'm 17 years old. I want to worry about kissing a cute guy, not overthrowing my dad. I thought once I ascended, I would be able to get away from the slaps and the kicks. I would be able to find someone that would speak to me with loving words, not degradation." I am sobbing now. Memory after memory of my father coming at me. 5 years old and he slaps me because I spilled water. 8 years old and he throws my food on the floor because I asked for something "if you're going to beg like a dog, get on the floor and eat like one." 11 years old, the one time I told him no, I'm lying on the floor in the fetal position while he kicks me, after he smacked me so hard I fell down.

     I'm still crying hard, trying to catch my breath, but I can't calm down enough to do it. My chair gets pushed out a little and I feel arms circle around me and pull me into a tight hug. Haven is hugging me as hard as he can, rubbing my back trying to calm me down. I wrap my arms around him, grabbing his shirt in my fists, and completely break down. He is calm, making quiet soothing noises, while he runs my back until I calm down. My sobs turn into hiccups and finally I'm just sniffling while I am safe in his arms.