Chapter Five: Gone 2/3

I stopped, and he was quick to turn around.

"Were you here?" he asked, "Or were you at home?"

I stared at his school uniform, and I felt empty.

The black dickies ended just over the laces of black Converse, and the long white sleeve shirt he wore had the sleeves folded up nearly to his elbows. He still wore his uniform black tie.

His black metal ID bracelet was in clear view now.

"Ren," he said.

“It was a few days before I left home,” I admitted, “I got into a huge fight with my mom, and we both said horrible things to each other.”

I know it wasn’t a valid excuse, but cutting gave me a way to escape my mental pain.

He stared down at me.

I could see that he was trying not to get mad.

"Why are you even here?" I asked him, "I thought you couldn't leave campus yet?"

"It’s Thursday," he stated, "I can leave now."

I nodded slowly.

"I'm still buying you shorts," he said, "Don't even try to get out of it."

"I can buy my own shorts" I tried not to shout.

"Too bad," he said before walking again.

I frowned, but I followed him.

"You have more baggage than I thought you did," he stated.

It irritated me that he felt it was necessary to say that.

"I'm clearly more damaged than you would think," I stated.

He didn't say anything this time.

I just followed him into the first clothing store we saw.

I found it kind of funny as I watched him walk through and scan the women's clothes. He looked very determined.

He walked up to me and held a pair of shorts to my waist.

I didn't care anymore. I just stood there like a shell.

He looked at me and made a face, "Go back to normal. I don't care much for this Ren."

I didn't move, I barely acknowledged that he spoke at all.

"I'm sorry," Michael said, "I understand more than you know, but stop acting like this."

He stood right in front of me, and his dark sapphire blue eyes stared back at me concerned.

Maybe this was the real me. That might explain why I was so tired all the time. Smiling like it was nothing, laughing like I wasn't in any pain.

"I don't want to see you like this," he stated.

I didn't feel anything right now, and it felt good. I was tired of feeling, and I just didn't want to deal with it all anymore.

He grabbed my face roughly with his right hand, and I flinched at the tight grip.

"Stop it," he hissed, "Or I'll do something you won’t want me to do."

I just stared at him and tried not to let the pain bother me.

"I just want to sleep," I sighed "I'm so tired."

His expression changed, and his eyes went wide.

He dropped his hand, and he walked back to the rack of clothes.

He was getting tired of me too.

I think that feeling hurt far more than the grip he had on my chin.

I watched as he pulled almost every pair of shorts off the rack that were black or gray, and he went to another one.

What the hell was he doing?

A woman walked up to him and smiled. She was trying to get him to notice her.

He barely looked in her direction, and she touched his shoulder.

He said something I couldn't hear, and she walked off.

What did he say to her? Did he make her cry?

It didn't take long for her to come back, and she had a small cart with her.

Michael dropped the clothes in the cart and said something else to her.

She made a face.

He turned to look at me, and I felt strangely irritated with the girl he was near.

"Come on, Ren," he said to me.

I was a burden to him, he was going out of his way to help me, and I was being a brat.

My feet moved, even though my brain told me to stop.

I was next to him, and the woman looked confused.

"So this is your type now?" the girl asked, "She looks far more damaged than you."

Why? I felt this anger towards her, and it wasn't because she called me damaged, but because she said he was.

The blank expression I had before was gone. My gaze went to her, and I knew how I looked, I looked scary. The glare I shot at her made her look scared.

"Michael is not damaged," I seethed, "You are."

She looked pissed that I even tried to talk to her.

"What was that?" she hissed.

I was about to say something back, but I felt a hand close over mine.

"This is my type now," Michael stated, "Scary and damaged."

I looked at him, and he was smiling at me.

It was more of a smirk, the way his mouth angled.

My heart was beating like crazy.

"I guess two fucked up people deserve each other," the girl said, "You won’t be this nice to her in a week, so just get over yourself, Michael."

I glared at the girl again. She was very close to getting hit.

"Say whatever you want," Michael stated, "This one is different."

I felt my body tremble at his words, and my hand began to sweat in his grasp.

"Go do what you do best," Michael said to her, "Find men who are willing to fund your drug addiction."

He pushed the cart with one hand, and I tried to take my hand away so it would be easier for him to maneuver the cart, but he squeezed my hand tight.

"You aren't getting away," he stated.

"I'm not going anywhere," I stated, "You can barely push the cart."

He looked at me before releasing my hand.

"Don't disappear like that again," he said.

I nodded slowly.

He began to walk again, and he stopped at dresses.

Why were we over here?

"Do you like dresses?" he asked.

I didn't really know.

"I'm not sure," I admitted, "I've never owned one, but I got one at the Good Will."

He turned to look at me "Let me buy one for you."

"You are already doing more than enough," I said.

"Please," he said, "Let me buy you a new one."

Why did he want to? Why wouldn't he just let me say no?

"W-What kind of dress?" I stuttered.

He walked forward and scanned the dresses, why did he want to buy me things? I could take care of it myself.

I was too busy wondering about it, that when he called my name, I didn't hear him.

"Ren?" he asked.

My head shot up, and he almost looked scared.

"Sorry," I smiled lightly, "Just got lost in my own mind."

He held out a short red dress. It looked like it would stop right above my knees.

"How about this one?"

I moved forward to touch the dress, and I smiled. It was definitely a beautiful dress.

"Should I try it on?" I asked.

He showed me another smile, and it had the same effect.

"Go for it," he said awkwardly, not meeting my gaze.

"Wait outside the dressing room so I can show it to you," I said before handing him my bag.

I felt happy, and I didn't want this feeling to go away.

I knew I was acting childish, but I couldn’t help myself.

How often did I try on dresses? I really never owned one, and that in itself is just plain sad.

I walked into the dressing room stall, and I was quick to pull the clothes I had on, off. The skirt dropped, and I glared at the pink fabric as it laid there on the floor. I stepped in the red dress before pulling the side zipper up.

Michael grabbed the right size, which I thought was quite lucky.

I stepped out and saw him looking at his phone.

The girl who was supposed to be helping customers was trying to talk to Michael, and he made it quite apparent that he wasn't interested in her existence.

"Michael," I called.

He looked up at me, and he looked blank for a minute. I spun around to show him all of it, and I smiled wide. It was a lovely dress.

It made me feel beautiful. His eyes were glued to me, and the girl looked at me irritated.

It was a second later that I noticed her eyes running down my arm. I hated it when I got that once-over look from people. A look of revulsion was almost always right after.

Not from them. Benny hasn’t looked at me like that.

He grinned back at me, "That's the one."

I went back into the dressing room and changed my clothes, and I made sure to put the dress back on its hanger.

Michael didn’t look like my discolored skin bothered him in the slightest.

Once I was all set, I walked out, and the girl was still trying to talk to him. How shameless.

I walked up to the cart and folded the dress in half before placing it in the cart.

"Ready to go?" Michael asked.

"Didn't you hear me?" the girl asked.

"I heard you," Michael stated, "I just hoped that you would be smart enough to get the hint, but apparently not."

He pushed the cart forward, and I walked next to him.

"Girls hit on you a lot," I stated.

He didn't say anything.

"Michael?" I asked.

"I have some stuff to get at another store," he said, "Will you come with me?"

I nodded as I looked at him. He avoided looking directly at me.

He stood in line, and I watched as he checked his phone.

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Gus won’t stop calling me," he sighed.

"So answer it," I said.

He shook his head.

What was up with him?

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He finally turned to look at me “I am in a strangely great mood. I just don’t want to hear anything that might piss me off.”

I smiled at him, and he frowned.

"What?" he demanded.

“I was just thinking something similar.”

He looked away from me again, and he was next in line. I watched as he placed all the shorts on the counter, and the woman rang them up.

I watched as the price said $5.99 over and over until she scanned the dress.

The price of the dress was $69.99.

I gasped, "I don't need the dress." I said quickly.

The girl was about to take it off the computer, but Michael shook his head.

"I'm buying you the dress."

I felt this bad feeling in my stomach. I didn't want him to feel obligated just because I liked it.

He scanned his card, and we stood there while she bagged the clothing.

I didn’t feel right, this didn’t feel right.

He took the bags, and the feeling in my stomach only got worse.

Michael walked towards the exit, and I followed behind him.

"Michael," I said, "The dress was a lot, you didn't have to get it."

"Quit being stupid," he said plainly.

I looked at him, confused.

"If it meant seeing you with that kind of smile," he said, "And that happy, I would have spent much more on a dress."

I felt the red in my cheeks.

"Thank you," I said, not being able to meet his gaze, "Thank you."

"Wear it on Saturday," he said, "Tell Benny to dress up, and we'll have a real date night."

I felt myself smiling wide, "Okay."

"Do you own any heels?" he asked.

I glared at him, "We're done buying me things."

He didn't seem fazed, "What size shoe do you wear?"

“No,” I said quickly, “I can buy my own shoes.”

He didn't look like he wanted to discuss this.

"Either you try on shoes, or I buy every red and black pair I can find."

I made a face.

Why was he doing this?

"Let me spoil you today," he said, "I have more than enough money, so you don't need to worry about that."

I felt terrible when people did things for me, this wasn't any different. I didn't want him to dote on me even a little.

It made me feel like I was useless and that I couldn't do anything for myself. It also made me feel like a burden.

I don't want him to ever think I want him for his money, because that wouldn't be true.

I had to stop when I thought that. Did I want him?