“Woah, dude!” Alex’s fists fell down, and her excitement returned in full force.

I was still silent, and I watched as the guy’s eyebrows creased. “I do not understand what you mean.” He paused and looked around. “Where am I? Who are you? And who are you?” He looked first at Alex, then at me.

“Oh yeah! I’m Alex, and that’s Felix.” She gestured at me. “We’re in Felix’s apartment. We found you in the bushes and you wouldn’t wake up, and it was freezing outside, so we brought you back here. How did you do the language thing?”

Alex’s ADHD was never more apparent than at this moment.

She was essentially bouncing around the guy, and her enthusiasm made up for the fact that I was still standing silently a couple feet away.

“I transferred the simple mechanics of your language into my brain so that I may now converse with you. You say we are in Felix’s apartment, where is Felix’s apartment?”

Transferred the simple mechanics? What does that even mean? What on Earth is happening right now?

“We’re in Chicago.” I finally spoke, and my voice was vaguely raspy.

“That’s in Illinois,” I added this because he looked confused.

“You know, America.” His face only seemed to get more confused, and I knew there was only one thing that he would perhaps recognize.

“You’re on Earth.”

“I’m on… Earth? This. This cannot be. No. You are mistaken.” The guy’s eyes got wide, and I could see he was starting to panic.

“No, we’re definitely on Earth. How did you even get here?” Alex jumped back into the conversation.

The guy scratched his wrists and looked confused. “I… I do not know. The last thing I remember is… “ He paused, and Alex and I glanced at each other.

What have you gotten us into?

She mouthed the word, “Whoops” at me, and I only glared.

“I-It’s okay, how about you sit down. Do you want some uh, clothes?” I stepped forward, and the guy looked up at me.

“I have clothes, do I not?” He looked at me, and I resisted the urge to glance at his abs (which, I should add, I was pointedly ignoring).

“Well, your pants are kind of, burnt? And you’re not wearing a shirt.”

“I do not wear shirts where I am from.”

I resisted the urge to get aggravated.

Alex laughed and the guy looked confused, which was quickly becoming his constant expression. “Well, you’re too hot to not wear one. You’re probably making Felix uncomfortable, he’s into guys.”

“ALEX!” My face flushed immediately. “Shut up!”

“Hot? I do not feel hot. But if you say I am making Felix uncomfortable, I can wear one of the ‘shirts’.”

“Oh, it means you look really, really, goo-,” I shoved Alex and glared at her.

“Ignore her! Come with me, I’m sure I have stuff that will fit you.” I started walking to the hallway, ignoring Alex’s giggling behind me.

I walked into my room, turning to make sure the guy was behind me. I jumped away and made a noise of surprise when I realized he was standing directly behind me.

“You are much different then Alex, I have noticed.” His head was tilted up at me slightly.

“Yeah, we’re not really alike at all.” The back of my neck burned.

I started digging through the bottom of my drawers, looking for clothes that were too small for me.

“Try this shirt.” I turned to find him directly behind me again, and I took an involuntarily step backward.

“How do I put this on?”

Am I really going to have to dress him?

I was blushing madly and I really didn’t appreciate the thoughts running through my head. I grabbed the guy’s arms and pushed them through the armholes, then pulled the top of the shirt over his head. I yanked it down over his stomach, and my fingers vaguely grazed his ribs.

I let go as soon as I could, and turned back to my dresser, looking for pants.

“Here, you can put these on.” I held out the pants and glanced at his hair again.

I shook my head almost to myself as I turned around, and as I waited for the guy to change, I realized something.

“Hey so, what’s your name anyways?”

“I am called ㄖ 几千ㄒㄩ乇.”

“Uh, I can’t really pronounce that.”

“Yes, human mouths are inadequate for pronouncing my specie's language. In your language the closest thing would be Zesper.”

Human mouths are inadequate for pronouncing my species' language? 

“You… know about humans?”

“Yes, we study many planet’s dominant species. Humans are widely feared among many species. I am ready now. Thank you for the clothing.”

I turned around, and for some reason, for some blasted reason, the first word that popped into my head was cute. My pants were big on him, and they dragged the floor slightly, seeing as I was at least half a foot taller. I threw the word out of my head with venom. However, I quickly noticed something.

“Oh, I should probably make a hole for your, uh, tail, huh? I have some scissors in the bathroom, come on.”

I walked into my bathroom, grabbing the hair scissors from the closet. I was ready this time when I turned around to once again find him directly behind me.

“Thank you. Do you not mind your pants being cut?” His eyes all blinked up at me.

I let a smile ghost my lips. “It’s fine, I don’t wear those anymore.”

I walked around him, and the situation hit me. My face, having just cooled down, heated right back up again.

“Uh, so, where is your um, tail at?”

I yelped slightly when his tail jolted up through the waistband and tapped me lightly on the head.

“Right. Found it.” I looked up in alarm as I heard a rasping sound, and Zesper’s head was thrown back and his mouth was open and in a smile. It occurred to me he was laughing, and it made me smile.

I trailed my hands nervously down his back, feeling for the start of his tail. I found it (while also learning that evidently on his planet they didn’t wear underwear either, but that’s neither here nor there), and started cutting a hole in the pants opposite of it, all the while Zesper’s tail waved in the air above me, occasionally tapping me on the head.

“All done.” I stood up, sighing slightly with relief.

“Show me where the hole is at?” He turned his head to look at me, his head tilted slightly.

“Y-Yeah.”

Don’t think like that, don’t think like that.

I could have sworn he smiled.

I swallowed dryly, loosely wrapping my fingers around the end of his tail, and guided it to the opening. I stepped back when I was finished, and swiftly started walking back out to the living room where Alex was, my face burning.