I ran my hands through my hair as I walked up to my doorstep. I completely forgot about Zesper and Alex in my anger. I stomped into my apartment, already unbuttoning my shirt, ready to throw off my clothes and smoke a cigarette. I threw open the apartment and was met with the sight of Zesper on my couch, reading one of my mangas.

I paused, my shirt half-unbuttoned, and briefly debated the pros and cons of killing myself.

“Alex told me to tell you that she had to leave to see her girlfriend.” Zesper looked up from the couch, and when he saw me, his face seemed to turn a darker shade of blue than usual.

Is he blushing?

“Right! I’ll be back. Also, I told you not to read my mangas!” I walked swiftly to my room, feeling disastrous.

This day is one problem after another.

“Alex told me I could!” He called after me.

I made a mental note to yell at Alex later, because she knew exactly what was in those books, and she knew exactly why I didn’t want Zesper to read them.

I went to my room, throwing off my clothes. The first thing I did was put back in my gauges, nose ring, and barbell. I fixed my hair (which means I ran my hand through it). I dug out some pajamas, and grabbed my pack of cigarettes before heading back into the living room.

Zesper was waiting for me, and I knew I should explain what had happened, but I couldn’t seem to find the energy to.

“Are you okay?” My shoulders slumped at his concerned gaze, and lying sounded like far too much effort right now.

“Not really. I had to go see my dad, and we don’t get along.” I started walking towards the window, then wrenched it open.

“Alex told me you could get mean. Also, what are you doing?” Zesper walked over to where I had sat down on the floor.

I let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, she’s right. You probably aren’t going to want to be around me in a little bit here.”

I fumbled out a cigarette, putting it to my lips and lighting it.

“It is okay. I get mean sometimes too. Indeed, I have felt like being mean recently.” I jumped when I felt a hand land on my shoulder.

I looked over to see Zesper staring at me, and there was a moment, a brief shining second, where we were staring into each other’s eyes, and he seemed so close, and the sun was setting through the window, and it was beautiful. It was perfect.

And then I turned my head away, and the moment was over.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck here. Must suck to have to be living here with me.” I took a deep drag off the cigarette, taking care not to blow any smoke in his face.

“I do not mind. I have rather enjoyed my time here with you so far. While I miss my home, and I miss my family, being stuck here with you is rather… nice.”

I gulped. Time didn’t seem real, and I felt like we were in a different reality. “I’m glad. I’m enjoying being here with you, too.”

In more ways than one.

“What is that?” He pointed at my cigarette.

“They’re called cigarettes. They’re actually really bad for you, but they contain something called nicotine, which is unfortunately addictive, but it creates an immediate sense of relaxation.” I took another drag. “So, you can guess why I smoke them.”

“If you want, you can talk about what happened. I am more than willing to listen.” Zesper’s tail tapped me on the shoulder, and I had to smile.

I wonder if he really means it? I wonder if he knew about the things I’d done, would he still like me? I wonder, would he still like me if he knew about my life?

The only way to find out is to tell him.

But what if I get a negative response?

Oh please. He’d never really like you anyways. You can’t lose anything by telling him.

Are you supposed to be positive or negative?

I’m the truth, and you know it. You have no chance with him.

I shook my head to myself, trying to erase the annoying thoughts. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” His tail tapped my shoulder again, and I sighed.