Chapter Six: Say Something 2/2

I laid down on my bed, and I sighed.

“Oh,” Benny said, “Your phone kept going off, it’s on the charger.”

She pointed to my desk, and I was up to check it.

It didn’t say who sent them, but I had 23 unread text messages.

I put in my password, and I went to my messages.

All of them were from Michael.

That strange feeling of being cared about swarmed through me. He didn’t have to message me, but he did.

I clicked on his name, and I scrolled all the way down to the first message.

From: Michael – ‘Ren?’

From: Michael – ‘Are you, you yet?’

From: Michael – ‘Ren, text me back.’

From: Michael – ‘Seriously, text me.’

From: Michael – ‘Benny do you have her phone?’

From: Michael – ‘Ren just say something.’

From: Michael – ‘I need to know you are okay.’

From: Michael – ‘Text me back, Ren.’

From: Michael – ‘Please answer me.’

From: Michael – ‘Ren please, don’t ignore me.’

From: Michael – ‘Are you awake?’

From: Michael – ‘I’m not going to go away just because you ignore me.’

From: Michael – ‘I’m sorry, I know I’m an asshole. Just please answer me.’

From: Michael – ‘Ren quit fucking with me.’

From: Michael – ‘You’re seriously just blowing me off aren’t you?’

From: Michael – ‘Just call me a dick so I can get on with my day.’

From: Michael – ‘Ren, please answer me.’

From: Michael – ‘I feel like such a fucking jerk, just say something.’

From: Michael – ‘I just want to know how you are doing.’

From: Michael – ‘I’m going crazy over here Ren, just answer me already.’

From: Michael – ‘Ren, seriously stop ignoring me.’

From: Michael – ‘I won’t bother you anymore okay, so just forget all those other messages I sent.’

From: Michael – ‘I’m sorry.’

My chest hurt after reading all of the messages he left me.

He seemed distraught. He thought I was ignoring him.

Now I understood why he was so relieved to talk to me. Why he sounded like he was begging for me to say something no matter what it was.

I was about to text him back, but my phone buzzed. It said that I received another message from him.

From: Michael – ‘Why did you run away?’

I glanced up at Benny to see if she noticed the sound.

She smiled wide at Gus and talked about Saturday.

I sat on my bed, and I looked at the message for a minute.

To: Michael – ‘I didn’t say no, you did.’

I felt like a jerk for saying it, but it was true.

To: Michael – ‘I didn’t ignore you, I didn’t have my phone.’

I pulled the blanket over me before I rolled to my side.

The phone buzzed in my hand, and I unlocked it so I could read the message.

From: Michael – ‘You said so yourself we were outside.’

Of course, I knew that. I felt the same way at the time.

The only thing that came to mind now was what his friend said about him having an addiction to the pussy.

Was it because I wouldn’t let him go all the way? Was it because he thought I wouldn’t do anything for him if he did that to me?

I know what I was about to say would sound horrible, but I couldn’t stop myself.

To: Michael – ‘Well thanks for stopping me from making a decision I would later regret.’

It was mean, and I knew it, but I pressed send before I could process just how mean I knew it really was.

I felt shitty afterward, but I knew it was true.

Michael can’t touch me. If he does, I already know I’ll give him everything.

I don’t know how he has such a crazy effect on me. It’s baffling.

My phone buzzed again, and I was surprised he responded, but I feared what he might say.

From: Michael – ‘Glad to see we’re on the same page.’

How did his words hurt so much? He only agreed with what I said.

I stared at the message, but I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of Benny’s voice.

“Where are you going?” Benny demanded.

“I’m going out,” I heard Michael on the other side.

I sat up to look over at them.

“It’s almost ten,” Benny hissed, “Where are you going?”

“He has a girl waiting outside,” I heard Gus say.

For how long?

“Since when?” Benny demanded.

“I don’t know,” he said, “He talked to her a few hours ago, I guess.”

My gaze dropped to my phone, and I felt worse.

He was back with a girl? Was he trying to see what I would do with him?

I feel so fucking used that I just… I am pissed.

I set my alarm before I laid back down. I faced the wall. I was going to sleep, and I didn’t want to wake up tomorrow or Saturday.

++++++++++

I woke up to the sound of a guitar, it wasn’t my phone.

“Hello?” Benny asked.

I rolled over to look at her.

Her hair was a mess, and she frowned at the response she got.

“Tell me you’re fucking kidding,” Benny said.

“Is everything okay?” I asked her.

She shook her head and listened.

It made me wonder who it was and what happened.

I waited a few minutes before she spoke again.

“We’ll be there.”

I made a face.

She hung up the phone and started to put clothes on.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Put some clothes on,” she said.

I got up and put on socks before slipping my shoes on. I went through my clothes before deciding on just wearing the clothes I slept in.

I had to maneuver a bra on without taking my shirt off.

Benny was dressed and waiting for me.

I made sure I had my wallet and everything I might need with me.

When she walked out, I was surprised when she headed for the front gate.

It was still dark out, which made me a little more frustrated than I liked.

I pulled my phone out to check the time.

5:37 AM.

“Are we allowed to leave?” I asked her quickly.

“It’s Friday,” she stated, “Which means no security at the front gate.”

I nodded.

When we reached the front gate, we walked right through, and nothing happened. The entrance wasn’t even locked.

She stopped to look at her phone before she started walking across the street.

“Where are we going?” I asked her.

“The Motel just up the street,” she said.

I could hear her irritation.

“What happened?”

She shook her head.

We lagged getting to the Motel, but we walked all the way there.

Once we got there, she didn’t talk to the clerk. She just went right for the stairs.

I wanted to ask her again where we were going, but I had a feeling I didn’t need to.

She stopped in front of a room with the number 26 on it.

She knocked, and right away, I was nervous.

What were we even doing here so early in the morning?

The door opened to reveal Gus was on the other side.

“Gus?” I asked oddly.

He looked at me and made a face.

“She shouldn’t be here, Benny,” Gus said.

I knew it was weird that I was here. For whatever exactly that was going on, it felt strange.

I knew that I was still relatively new.

“She’s one of us now,” she said, “She is fine, just let us in.”

He moved, and once I saw who was inside, I had to avert my eyes.

Michael was lying face-up on the bed, and he was only wearing tight boxer briefs.

He looked thrashed. Something was wrong.

My eyes went back to him before really thinking about it. Curiosity got the best of me.

His tattoo caught my attention, and I had to force myself to look away again.

“Michael,” Gus said, “Benny is here.”

Michael burst out in laughter. It startled me.

He was either drunk or high, I couldn’t tell.

“Ren,” he said strangely, “What brings you here?”

He sat up to look at us.

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me, but I watched his eyes roll back into his head before he fell back on the mattress.

Fear filled my chest.

I rushed forward to force his eyes open.

“Michael, what did you take?” I demanded.

He laughed as he squirmed away from me, so I had to hold him still.

His eyes were bloodshot, and he reeked of alcohol, but there was more to it.

“I found something,” Gus said.

I turned to see him holding a bottle of pills.

“What is it?” I asked him.

“A prescription,” Gus said, “But it isn’t his.”

Benny snatched it from him to read it.

“That fucking bitch,” she hissed.

I forced Michael to his feet, and he just continued to laugh.

He clung to me, and he stumbled, but I got him into the bathroom.

I felt different textures on his skin, and it worried me.

He has several smooth spots, as well as some rough ones. Signs of old scars.

Only, it made me wonder just how many he actually had.

“Uh,” Benny said, but stopped to stand in the doorway.

I noticed her looking at me curiously.

“Michael,” I said calmly, “Did you take any of those pills?”

He cocked his head to the side, “Why?”

It was hard not to notice the small line on his collar bone. Was it from a break?

“Answer me,” I felt a little like I was pleading with him, “Did you take anything?”

He began to laugh, and I felt sick.

By the look on Benny’s face, I could tell she didn’t know what to do. I watched as she walked out to help Gus.

What if something happens to him?

What if he did take all those pills? What if he dies?

“Michael,” I said again, calmly, “Did you take any of those pills?”

He forced himself away from me, and he took in a huge breath as he sat on the edge of the bathtub.

“I could really use a cigarette,” he stated.

“Not until you answer me,” I gripped his chin tightly and forced his gaze up to meet mine.

I noticed an old cut on the left side of his face. The scar just barely showed through his hairline, but when I really looked, I could see it extend above his left ear. How did that happen?

A small sound brought my attention back to his face.

His blue eyes seemed to change colors every time I looked at them. His gaze was on me hard.

He gripped my wrist tightly.

“So, what if I did?” he asked, amused.

His grip on my wrist was ridiculously tight.

I tried to force my hand away, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Michael,” I hissed, “Let me go.”

He stood up to tower over me.

I refused to let him try and intimidate me.

“You need to throw them up,” I said.

He didn’t say anything. He just wouldn’t let me go.

“What if you took too many?” I asked, “Do you want to die?”

His jaw tightened, and he finally released me.

I pushed at his chest, and he groaned.

“You need to throw them up,” I said.

“I don’t want to,” he stated.

“I don’t care,” I said.

I wouldn’t let up.

He needed to throw them up. I had to make sure he was okay.

Then it hit me, I remembered one of the messages he sent me, and I decided to steal his line.

“Michael, I need to know that you are okay,” I said, “Please throw them up.”

“I’ll be in pain of I throw them up,” he said, “Don’t ask me to be in pain.”

It hurt to hear him say it. I didn’t want him to be in pain, but he had to do this.

“I’m not asking,” I said.

I looked at him. I wasn’t going to lose this fight.

He stared at me.

“Please,” I said, keeping my eyes on his, “Michael.”

He let out a small groan before he stood up.

I opened my mouth to repeat it, but he dropped next to the toilet.

He shut his eyes tightly before looking down at the bowl.

His hand shook as he slowly brought it to his mouth, and he forced two fingers down his throat.

I watched as his body heaved. The liquid, along with the pills he took, were being expelled from his body.

It almost sounded like he was screaming.

I shut my eyes tightly as he hurled, but I was thankful that he chose not to die.

Though I wasn’t sure if he took enough to overdose on, I didn’t want him to disappear.

I was just thankful that he chose to listen to me instead of continuing to harm himself.

It was cold, the air in the motel room. I felt myself shivering as I watched his body heave.

I was used to watching someone vomit, so I didn’t feel sick.

As long as he was okay, and as long as he got those pills out of his stomach.

I let out a sigh as I watched him move away from the toilet to find his spot on the edge of the bathtub again.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I don’t want you to be in pain, but if it means you’re alive, I don’t care.”

He looked over at me, and I could see it, anger in those dark blue eyes.

“Please forgive me,” I said.

In all my years, I have never used that line. I have heard it dozens of times from plenty of different people.

“And why should I forgive you?” he growled.

I didn’t know.

“You worry about me,” I said before thinking, “So why is it so wrong that I worry about you?”

“I can take care of myself,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, right,” I stated, “We wouldn’t be here if that were true.”

He moved forward, and his hand grabbed my jaw roughly.

“Don’t fucking pity me,” he growled.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I don’t pity you moron.”

I took hold of his hand, and I forced it away from me.

He looked surprised.

“I worry for a reason,” I stated, “You have already seen how I escape. I just didn’t expect to see how you did this soon.”

He moved away from me and sat down on the rim of the bathtub.

“Michael,” I sighed.

“Just shut up,” he hissed, “Just shut the fuck up.”

“Hey,” I growled.

His glare went through me like a knife, but I couldn’t let him talk to me like that.

I pulled my arm back, and I connected my hand harshly to his cheek.

I let out a gasp once I heard the loud smack.

His eyes were wide as he stared sideways.

His cheek was already red from the impact.

Part of me felt bad for slapping him, the other part knew it was a long time coming.

His hand slowly came up to rub the tender skin.

He turned his head to look at me as his knuckles tried to rub the sting away from his face.

I didn’t falter as I glared back at him.

“Pull yourself together,” I said meaner than necessary, “I am your friend, not some fucking bimbo you took in for the night. Watch your mouth.”

His eyes on me had me confused. I couldn’t figure out the emotion behind his gaze.

“Ren?”

The bathroom door opened, and Benny looked at me.

“It’s okay,” I said, “He threw them up.”

She let out a long sigh, “Awesome.”

He had to know that both Benny and Gus worried about him.

My gaze went back to Michael as he continued to stare at me.

What the hell did that gaze mean?

“Benny? Ren?” Gus said from inside the room, “It is getting late, you guys should head back to campus, school is going to start in less than an hour.”

I nodded as I looked at Benny.

“I can take care of things from here,” Gus said, “Just don’t be late.”

Benny placed a kiss on Gus’s lips, and I smiled at him.

Michael hadn’t moved since I slapped him.

“I’ll call you later,” Benny said, “Make sure he gets that crap completely out of his system, he can’t afford another failed drug test.”

I shivered at the thought.

Of course, Michael took drugs to escape.

Did he want to run away after witnessing how I ran away?

I shook my head furiously. I hope that wasn’t why.

It felt unfair if he did. It wasn’t like I did it on purpose.

“I’ll talk to you guys later,” I said before Benny forced me out.

“We might need to run,” she said after looking at her phone.

I mentally prepared myself before running.