For five years, I hid myself from inevitable pain. After Kate, I swore I’ll never love again, at least for a long while. For sure, I’m still hoping and daydreaming that my real prince charming will one day come and drag me head over heels crazy in love with her in her Wonder Woman outfit. Just I’m not yet ready to entertain suitors right now, be a lesbian or a guy. Don’t I just sound so beautiful with that?

But why am I feeling that such promise would be thrown to nothing?

I sighed. No, Sherri. You’re simply curious and that’s all there to it. A quick reminder, it’s for Denmark’s sake. Speaking of, I have to scold these two.

“You know what, you both are bad timings,” I scowled at John and Denmark.

“What’s the bad timing there?”

“We were still talking, you know. We were still talking about something and there went the both of you like Batman and Robin. Get that? Such a bad timing!”

“Hey, hey, Princess. How do you call that a bad timing? We were just following the plan. In case you forgot, that’s your plan. And what were you both talking about that’s such a big deal for you?” John asked a question for an obvious answer.

But for Denmark’s sake, I must be specific. “Her sexual preference. She’s just too defensive when we started arguing about her being a lesbian.”

“Wait, what?! She’s a lesbian?! Please tell me you’re joking, Sherri,” Denmark exclaimed as expected.

“I’m not really sure. But my gaydar said so.”

“That’s why you badly want to finish your conversation,” John teasing me and Denmark even more.

“Of course not. By the way, John can I have your phone?”

“And why?”

“She asked me to delete her number on your call logs.”

“No way,” Denmark answered. “Don’t you dare give her your phone, John. For sure she just wants my lady to be hers.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously, Denmark? After all these years? I’m not even sure if she’s really a lesbian. I wanted to make it clear if really, she isn’t one, but you guys came at the right time! And Denmark, for the record, her name’s Gabby.”

“Gabby? Oh, that’s a beautiful name. But still! Deal is a deal, Sherri. What was all those efforts for if you’ll just delete her number?

“Well, it’s up to you. She’ll just be mad at you.”

“I won’t know unless I try.”

And because Denmark’s really hardheaded, he really wants to give it a try and there’s nothing I can do more. If it weren’t just all planned, I could say she’s a good person and she didn’t deserve what we just pulled on her. She went out of her way to help when others could even blame me for not watching my way. Well, it could be, too, that she really thought she had no choice but to help me because she didn’t just bump me but spill her drink on me.

We went back inside the club with John’s arm around my shoulder, which my best friends usually do. I immediately saw Gabby, who’s busy again with her phone. Really, what’s she doing? I’m honestly finding it too tempting to message her, but I couldn’t do that to Denmark. I don’t want a lady to be the reason of a gap between me and him.

John surprised and woke me up from my thoughts when he led me to a table beside Gabby’s. “What the hell are we doing here? Aren’t we supposed to be sitting there?” I pointed at the rightmost side of the club.

“Because the birthday boy requested for it. The previous group who occupied this place already went.”

We were speaking mouth to ears at this intense volume of the music. It’s a disco club, Sherri, not a church.

Wait, was that how long I was with Gabby? Who would go home this early on a Friday evening?

“That’s how desperate he is?” I commented.

John just nodded with a smile. “As if you don’t know him.”

I think Denmark’s really so desperate to have a girlfriend right now. So, Sherri, it’s time to party and forget about Gabby.

John and I just talked while Denmark’s already busy with his phone, messaging Gabby, for sure. The rest of the three guys were already on the dance floor with their own new partners. Well, it’s a boy’s night out and girlfriends aren’t allowed.

Shortly after, John got bored, too, and pulled me to the dance floor towards the other three, who already had a partner of their own. Wow! One friend just celebrated their birthday and these guys got the chance to dance with another girl. Very good!

So, why don’t we just give this John a chance, Sherri? Well, I’m not a fan of disco but let’s just say I love to dance, too. Dancing’s one of the things I like about Joh. Aside from being respectful, gentleman and handsome, he’s really sweet. But tonight, I think I saw a different John. His eyes weren’t leaving mine as if he’s sipping my energy. And because the dance floor’s full of people, we couldn’t stop our body from brushing. A push there and a push there. My hairs at the back of my neck were standing at the feeling! I never think, even once, about John as a guy, aside from being my best friend and an older brother.

“John, I’ll just go back to sit,” I excused because I really didn’t feel right anymore.

Denmark just came at the right time when I needed one to be, so, John wasn’t able to react anymore. As soon as I sat on our place, I immediately took my phone to let my thoughts focus on another thing. But I didn’t expect it to over cross so fast! I received a message in Viber from one person I didn’t expect at all!

Hi, Sherry! Gabby here.

I didn’t know what I should feel. I was immediately drowned with anxiety and joy. I looked towards her direction but she’s looking down again to her phone, which was a good thing.

Hi, Gab! It’s Sherri.

I couldn’t help but stare at my phone while waiting for her reply.

Oh, sorry. I forgot, wrong spelling is wrong. Is it okay that I’m messaging you?

I stopped myself from grinning. I couldn’t let her catch me grinning in case she’s looking at my direction. Stop it, Sherri! You’re just overthinking!

You got the original spelling right. The clerk who made my birth certificate just typed it incorrectly. Hihi. Yeah, no worries. You can message me.

 A minute hasn’t ended, and I got a reply from her. So excited or just so fast in typing? Which one, Gabby? Sherri, stop assuming!

Thanks. I just want to ask if you deleted my number from your friend’s phone?

Oops! I bit my lip. It just hurts when expectation didn’t end the way you wanted it.

Actually, no. He didn’t want to give his phone despite me telling what you wanted.

Oh, really? Cos one of them messaged me. I think it was that Denmark. But wasn’t John the owner of the phone who called me?

I’m really going to scrape the hair off these crazies! Couldn’t they just learn how to pursue a lady after all these years?

Yeah. It’s John’s. (Sigh). I’m sorry, Gabby. I want to apologize for them. Really, so sorry about that. Don’t worry. I’ll show your messages to them later, so they’ll believe me.

Why wouldn’t they believe you?

Because they might think I just want you to be mine. Silly, right?

And before I could even think it through, I sent it! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Sherri, I think it’s your hair I must scrape off!

Haha! Alright, you got me there! So, tell me, why’d they say that? Are you even a lesbian?

Did you just have an Alzheimer’s Gabby? Or you just want to go back to the topic?

I told you I’m bisexual, right?

I know. I’m just making sure of it. So, it’s the second.

So, how about yours? Why don’t you make it clear?

Don’t push it, Sherri.

Why don’t you just admit it?

And why do you think you are so sure about that?

Okay, Gabby. I’ll play along as much as you want. Cos my gaydar said so.

Well, tell your gaydar she got an old result. That was before. I’m a totally changed person now.

Oh-kay? What’s ‘totally changed’ supposed to mean?

Excuse me?

My hands were shaking in excitement! I think this is it, Sherri! She’s about to say what you’ve been waiting for! I’m already feeling sorry for Denmark. But at least, I’m doing him a favor by saving his heart.

I said, I liked girls. Before. Now? I disgust it!

Excuse me?! I read her last line a lot of times and every time I do, it’s just raising my blood pressure more. It’s as if my ass was just on fire that I want to go over her and talk about it face to face! It was doing well, Gabby. Why do you have to destroy it?

What was she trying to say?! That she just woke up one morning realizing that her favorite meal is disgusting?! Who is she kidding?!

Inhale. Exhale. Sherri, relax!

A lesbian is always a lesbian Gabby. You can’t get that out of your system. If you liked same sex before and chose the opposite sex now, that’s understandable. But that doesn’t mean you can’t like same sex again in the future. You can’t just say a relationship with a same sex disgust you. Your choices might have changed but not your heart.

At this moment, I don’t care what the hell she’s going to say. She can react all she wants, be mad all she wants, be annoyed or pissed all she wants! But that’s my point of view.

Well, I just don’t like ladies anymore, alright?

Oh, I like to reply to you even more!

Alright. You don’t like ladies anymore. Accepted. But you can’t say having relationship with them disgusts you!

It’s the same thing. Leave your points of view with you. And leave mine, too, to me. Cos we’re not on the same boat!

You’re one hell of a hardheaded, too, Gabby. But wait, maybe she’s hurt by the one she loved the most? That could greatly explain her disgust and hatred? Possible. Okay, Sherri, use the softer technique.

I think you were just hurt Gabby. I felt that a lady from the past hurt you so much that you can’t stop to generalize your grudges.

Don’t psycho me, Sherri. No one hurt me. And again, I don’t like ladies, cos I disgusts the idea of it! Period.

Well, you are pulling the wrong string Gabby because I’m not stopping with you pissing me at all!

I’m not trying to psycho you, Gabby. You’re just denying the truth. Anyhow, I just want you to know that if you need a friend who can understand you or who can hear you out, I’m just here.

No, thanks. In case you didn’t notice, Sherri, I have plenty of them.

I don’t know if I misunderstood it or she’s just being sarcastic.

Good to hear that, Gab. I tried to make my message as calm as it sounds when read. And that’s it. Whether she’ll reply or not, I’m cool with that. She’s not my loss and she’ll never be a painful part of my past. Oh, just your usual Sherri, playing with her head trying to sound serious. Won’t waste even a single chance of having a wrinkle from someone I won’t meet anyhow anymore!