Chapter Seven: Look After You 1/3

The day was long, and I didn’t care much for it.

The air felt thick, the sun burned hotter, and all I wanted was a nice breath of fresh air.

I wanted to feel relaxed, but it was impossible right now.

I changed for Fitness, and I walked the field.

The person I was looking for was nowhere to be found.

Michael was supposed to be on the other side, harassing me for something.

I didn’t care what he said. I just wanted him to be normal again.

This whole thing just sucked.

More than before, I regretted slapping him.

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“Anything yet?” I asked Benny.

I glanced over at her, she was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, and I was doing the same thing.

“Nothing yet,” she sighed after checking her phone for the millionth time today.

“What about earlier?” I asked, “Did Gus take him back to campus, or did he take him to the hospital?”

“Neither,” she stated, “He is too high to be on campus, and he can’t go to the hospital because they would be obligated to report it.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole situation, but I was worried about both of them.

“So, what does that mean?”

She took in a good-sized breath, “That means all Michael has had today is juice, and they are going to sit in a sauna on and off for a few hours.”

“Juice?” I asked, “Does the sauna even really work?”

She shrugged, “They believe it does, and I trust them.”

“Even after what Michael just did?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she stated, “Just because he makes bad decisions when he’s upset, doesn’t mean you can’t trust him.”

I nodded slowly.

Her phone went off, and she was quick to sit up and answer it.

“Hello?”

I watched her cross her legs.

“Okay,” she said with a nod.

I had no idea what was being said, but by the relief in her expression, I knew it was Gus on the other line.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

I sat up to look at her.

I wanted to know what they were talking about.

She only nodded her head as she listened to his voice.

“I’ll ask her.”

I met her gaze and smiled lightly.

“Do you want to meet them somewhere?”

I looked at her for a long minute, “What?”

“Gus thinks we should all be together,” she said, “And I agree.”

That is a change from this morning. He was surprised I showed up with Benny at all.

I was a little worried that he might not be as accepting of me as Benny.

“Okay,” I said slowly.

“She said yes,” Benny said with a grin.

I didn’t exactly say yes, but I suppose it meant the same thing.

“Yeah,” she said, “Okay, see you there.”

I waited for her to tell me what just happened.

She stood up and went for her closet.

“Benny?” I asked.

“Gus says that Michael isn’t looking good,” she admitted, “He needs some help.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Don’t tell Michael why we’re there,” she said, “He doesn’t like to have people worry about him.”

I stood up, and my gaze dropped to the floor.

I already knew that. That was why I slapped him this morning. The look on his face startled me.

I still didn’t understand what that look meant. The idea of seeing him today, kind of scared me.

“So, where are we meeting them?” I asked, moving towards my own closet.

“The food court,” she stated.

She stared into her closet, and I could tell that something was bothering her.

“Benny?” I asked, “What is it?”

She looked at me, but she didn’t seem surprised.

“You can tell me,” I assured her.

“He used to be so much worse,” she said, “He would get into trouble, and he would disappear for days, so this is really kind of new.”

I walked over to her, and I squeezed her hand, “We will get through this.”

“I don’t know how to face him like this,” she admitted, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Well then, it is a good thing I’m here,” I stated, “Because I do.”

“You do?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, though I didn’t quite want to elaborate on how.

“Okay,” she said, “I know I’m dragging you into all this, but I know you.”

I stared back at her, and to be honest, I could say the same about her, about all three of them.

“I knew it was too fast, but you are different from the other girls I’ve met here,” she said, “I can see it.”

She pointed at my eye.

“Is there something on my face?” I asked her oddly.

“No, but there is something in your eyes,” she stated, “They don’t quite smile when you do, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you went through something awful.”

I tightened my grip on her hand.

“It’s okay,” she said, “That’s why you are perfect for him.”

“Please,” I said, “I don’t want to talk about that.”

She hesitated before nodding, “Sorry.”

I waited a minute before I let go of her hand.

“I know you’ve noticed,” she said, “But I have trouble being around Michael sometimes.”

I nodded, but I didn’t look at her. I stood in front of my closet, and I gazed at the red dress.

“Yeah,” I said.

I felt her eyes on me, “I want to ask about the bags, but I’m not really that surprised.”

“Why?” I asked, “Is that normal for Michael?”

She didn’t answer.

I glanced at her, and she made a face.

“Is it?” I asked.

“No,” she finally responded, “He is treating you the way he treats me.”

I knew that wasn’t true, he was very open about how he felt about Benny. She bothered him, but he loved her. She is like a sister.

“He isn’t nice to you,” she asked, “Is he?”

I shrugged, “Is he bipolar?”

She chuckled, “No, but sometimes it will feel that way.”

I smiled lightly.

“He doesn’t want people around who are going to hurt him,” she stated, “He’s been hurt enough by people, so he tries to make people leave him alone by being mean.”

I got the feeling he wasn’t always mean.

“He used to be very kind,” she said, “But he doesn’t trust people anymore. A lot of people have tried to take advantage of him.”

I met her gaze again. Is that what she thinks I’m doing?

“You have that same look,” she said, “You’ve been hurt, so you try not to let people closer.”

I had to look away. I didn’t want her to see my reaction.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but I knew she was right. It was obvious to see I had been hurt, but no one ever looked close enough to actually see it.

“You guys aren’t the only ones,” she said, “Gus had it pretty bad too.”

I honestly couldn’t tell. He is always so happy.

Though, I know some of the saddest people have the warmest smiles.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Gus’s father was a big drinker,” she said, “When he drank too much, he would always go after Gus’s mother.”

I felt horrified.

“How old was he?”

She turned to smile at me, but it was a sad one.

“I think it started when he was nine,” she frowned, “Gus got strong so that he could protect her.”

I had to close my eyes. I shut them tightly so that I didn’t cry.

“His father left after Gus finally knocked him on his ass,” she said, “His mother didn’t handle it very well.”

I turned back to look at her, and I could see it on her face.

“Gus only got stronger because I kept telling him that he was weak,” she said, “How he loves me now I don’t know. It’s my fault he lost both of his parents.”

Both of his parents? Is that the real reason his nickname is Guns?

“What happened to his mom?” I asked.

It was the first time I saw Benny cry. Tears started to pour down her face.

I could handle it when people cried. I could tolerate it when people were sick, but I couldn’t watch her cry. It must have been bad if she can’t talk about it.

I wrapped my arms around her, and she clung to me.

I was practically paralyzed as she cried.

It’s been a long time since I felt this awful, and this useless.

She took several deep breaths before she pulled away from me.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured.

“Don’t you dare,” I said, “I never would have thought Gus went through so much.”

“Michael forgets how hard it hit Gus when his mom died,” she said, “He wants us to leave him alone and let him die.”

I pat her head, and I sighed, “Michael is just a selfish butthead, he needs to be reminded how important he is.”

She nodded as she wiped her eyes, “I know you asked me not to say anything, but I really do think that if you two get together, he won’t try to hurt himself anymore.”

“I don’t think I can make that big of a difference, Benny,” I stated, “He needs to pull his head out of his ass. In his own time.”

She looked away before nodding, “Yeah, I think that might help.”

I had to change the subject. It was way too heavy for me right now.

“So why the food court?” I asked.

Benny laughed, “I don’t know, it was Gus’s idea.”

“Alright,” I said before grabbing a pair of dark gray skinny jeans.

I was tired already, and I felt like today was going to last a very long time.

I put on a black tank top before putting on my long-sleeved black blouse. It was see-through, so the undershirt was necessary. I used to be wary about wearing it, but I knew I was safe around them. They didn’t make me feel like my birthmark was a bad thing. 

I pulled on my red Converse and made sure to put my notebook in my pocket. It had been a few days since I carried it with me, so I felt better already.

When I looked over at Benny, she was already dressed.

She was wearing ripped dark blue skinny jeans with a gray t-shirt with a taco and a nacho chip on it. It said, ‘If you don’t like tacos, I’m nacho type.’

She wore blue Converse, and I could see her ID bracelet on her right wrist.

“Are you ready?” she asked me.

I hesitated before nodding.

I made sure I had my keys and my wallet before following her off-campus.

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