Three

He was beautiful. The type that makes simplicity into something above amazing.

He wore a denim outfit that night. All blue, with a white shirt underneath that jacket. Quite a simple outfit, but what made him stand out was his face, and everything that came with it. He was tall, taller than me, though not by much, which made him look older than he probably was. It wasn't hard to notice that he was most definitely a teen: he had a few moments where he would make it evident. The gestures he used were happy and enthusiastic, he'd be constantly smiling and laughing with whom I assumed was his family: a teen girl which I took her as being his sister, probably fifteen or sixteen years old. She didn't look like a girlfriend as they'd never hold hands or hug whenever I saw them together, which was all the time. The other was a grown woman which I took to be their mother, a fair looking woman in quite a good shape for her age. I didn't get any good looks at her during the dinners, as she was seating the furthest away from me, but I could tell she was happy. The main thing that stood out, apart from him, was the lack of a father figure there. I know how it feels to be without one, since mine had died to cancer when I was nine. Still, that did not affect them in visible ways, for they were never without smiles or laughter, and that type of joy spread.

Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you saw it, he sat the facing me on the next table, which made that night a challenge to keep my eyes on my table. A few minutes after nine, music started to come out of speakers: Italian Night had started. I wasn't informed that there would be one tonight, or at least didn't register it since I don't speak Portuguese, but it was happening. As the waiters came in wearing clothes with the Italian flag colours and dancing, everyone picked up their napkins and starting spinning them over their heads. Each napkin had a colour akin to the ones that the waiters wore, and the entire restaurant took up the chanting and clapping, so I used the opportunity to take a good glance at my most recent crush. Turns out, while everyone was looking at the staff dancing around us, he had taken out his phone and started recording, and just as he panned towards me I had to look.

Fuck. Well shit. Nicely done.

Apparently, he had not noticed that I had been staring, and I started to gain my usual colour. Some part of me, a lot of parts, wished he had actually seen me. I would've liked to see his reaction, but then I pictured what I'd look like looking at him, and thought it was better he didn't until I was at my most presentable.

The clapping kept on going for a few minutes, as did the napkin spinning, the dancing waiters, and my quick and discreet glances at him. It all culminated in a marvellous performance of plate-spinning by someone dressed as a waiter, which ended in fierce applause. Then the waiters came out of the kitchen as a herd and started giving out the entry dishes. These were a beautifully put selection of various cheese, arranged from lightest to darkest. Since I don't know what most of them were, only the cheddar one, they can't really be named. But all were delicious, and the way the chefs had arranged them made it also worth the picture, which I did not take since I am a civilised person, but it would be justified just in this one case. He didn't take one either, so I only wanted him more now.

There was about a twenty-minute interval between the entry dish and the main one, and in that space the sister of my crush and him started playing a game. It was a simple one: all that was needed was an empty can of anything, and the little pin that you use to open had to still be attached to it. You'd put that in a vertical position, and take turns flicking it to the other side with your finger.

Loud. But entertaining. I mean, anything he did could be found entertaining by me. It was him, after all. There also seemed to be pain in the nails after finishing, which was when the pin gave out to whichever side. I never saw who won, because it would be obvious to him, and I did not want him to catch me staring, since it would most likely creep him out.

The main dish had started to be served, and it was also appealing to see: Grilled fish with spices, and a side of Rissotto di Camaraõ. Rice with shrimp. As dull as it might sound, it was not. The taste was wonderful, the spices gave the fish a taste like no other that I had ever eaten. The rice had more than shrimp: it had little octopuses and other small molluscs, which covered in lemon made it almost a delicatessen. As little as prestige restaurant’s meals go, these were more than enough to satisfy me.

The dessert was a small cheesecake, covered in chocolate, and boasted a variety of edible decorations all around the plate. This one didn't particularly stand out, but food is for eating, not seeing, and it had a good taste to it. Nothing special, really.

But dinner hadn't completely finished yet, we still had to leave, and that might be the most complex thing we ever did here. I didn't want to stand up too fast, or two things would happen: the chair wouldn't give in to the carpet and fall over, or it would not move at all and I'd spill all the leftover drinks. Neither did I want to move slowly as to show that I was fighting a chair for the respect of someone I didn't know. So, I had to lift myself ever so slightly, lift the chair with me, step back with the chair until I had enough clearance to stand up, and then stand up. Somehow, I did all that rather perfectly, and stood up with tense muscles and bulged my shoulders to make my love handles less visible. I looked like a clown but I did not know.

The night had ended for me there. Nothing else had happened, and I slept peacefully. The next day gave me stuff I still remember to this day.

**

I woke up at about eleven in the morning, the sun was up and the curtains were pulled, which revealed the infinite sea we were cruising. After taking several more minutes to gain the energy to leave the bed, I realized that my mother had already left. This gave me as much time to spend in the shower as I wanted, but it was as big as a coffee table is wide, and most of the time was spent deciphering how the shower worked: it had a main horizontal bar made of metal that ended in the gauges. The left one regulated the pressure, and the right one the temperature. These were new to me, and once I found the sweet spot for the water I never touched it again. The main bar that connected the gauges took the temperature of the current water, and I learned that the hard way. There were no stickers warning about that, and my hand burned for a good while.

My morning ritual had ended, and I went to the restaurant that was open all day. It was absolutely packed: no seats were visible, and all the plates had already been taken from the closest cabinet where they were kept. The restaurant was a circle on one of the middle decks, so I figured I might as well go around and see if I found my mother, hopefully with a saved place.

Around I went, and there was a lot of food variety. There was a section for everything, and they were labelled above in the style of the food it had: the vegetarian and vegan sections were written in sloppy, green letters, with vegetation all around. The meat section was written in bold, red letters with coals around them. Here they had the ‘American Breakfast’, and lots of beef. The Seafood section was written in curvy blue letters, and took all my attention with the sheer amount of rare fish they had.

**

The day had gone as usual, nothing special. The nightly theatre was completely filled, and it was the show that everyone had booked the very first day: Bizarre. Sold as being a French-themed act, which it partly was, it had drawn many people's attention. The poster was a man with a Jack-in-the-box hat, seemingly about to pop up. But it truly was as it's name had suggested: bizarre indeed. It was a combination of cultural dances from around the globe, paired with contortionist artist and an incredible trio of acrobats.

The former were four men in pristine white suits: one in the centre and three around him. The centre one would act as a sort of puppeteer, seemingly controlling their movements with incredible precision from the would-be puppets. They had started each with violins, and I thought it would be a violin quartet, but they quickly set them down and began acting. Moving first as machines in need of oil, they would make quick and sudden movements, accompanied by machine-like noises coming from the speakers. However, it turned into a rather smooth, techno dance, with movements that would break my spine if I even attempted one. They moved their bodies as if they were not even attached by muscles: they moved their heads, arms, and necks without moving their torsos, and if that doesn't seem hard, go right now in front of a mirror and try it. Do it. Seriously, go. This story only goes as you read it, so take your time. Anyways, their act was as interesting as it was chilling when they made sudden movements. They finished with the front most man turning around his entire body without moving his legs, and how that didn't cripple him for life is beyond my knowledge.

The latter were a trio of men. They were mostly comedic, performing a game of stealing a chair from each other, and performing amazing stunts all around the chair. It started with stealing a chair from a clown, which was done by all three of them throwing him off the chair into the theatre’s main hallway. Then, each attempted to seat, and was comically denied by the other: one would take it far away into the edge of the stage, and another would come and kick the chair into a wall and take it for himself. The one who had the chair stolen would fall on his ass and somehow not brake his coccyx. The thief would then attempt to sit smugly on his brand new chair, only to be denied by the third acrobat taking it from him from behind, and sitting right at the end of the stage, where the first two would team up on him and make him suffer the same fate as the clown.

It went like this for a few minutes, and the steal that the man that had gotten thrown did was my favourite. He ran towards the most recent thief quickly, and just as he was going to crash into him he jumped, grabbed the chair by the back, did a front-flip with the chair, and managed to land without breaking his spine.

After them came something pretty weird. It was the main performers on the daily basis depicting the wedding of the Roman Emperor (whose name evades me) and Cleopatra. The dancers were dressed as Roman soldiers, men and women alike, which for the first time since we boarded the cruise were standing still. Then, two men in what seemed to be Roman Jockstraps came out, and were slowly undressed. These two were left with their pants on, and both were jocks. Ripped and muscular, they proved themselves to be calisthenics, and the things they did were so impressive that I think I didn't have more than two boners during the entire performance.

Thunderous applause followed, and well earned.

The night continued after those performers, and was filled with dances and songs themed to France, where the artists that had performed earlier, all still able to walk, came out to finish the show. One last piece was played with all of them together, and the acrobat trio juggled vases on broomsticks while on top of each other, the men in white(now dressed as clowns for some reason) formed a human sculpture, so contorted that it was puzzling to look at.

Bizarre indeed.