“Look, güero, I understand you're used to people falling for you almost immediately, looking all white, tall, hunky and symmetrical like most people wish they could be and, I am very flattered, but I am not interested. Ok? I just want to get through the semester without an extra worry and, right now, having you stare at me like a lost pup looking for a home is an extra worry.”

Alex is in front of the mirror and fixing his hair into a bun. He has been rehearsing this little speech for the past hour. He’s got it down: defiant eyes and raised chin every time he says it. You can say a lot of things about Alex, like that he is stubborn, but not that he is a bad actor.

“Thanks for the compliment,” he says, grabbing his bag from over the dirty laundry basket and walking out the bathroom, pass the living room and towards the stairs out the apartment. “And yes, I am stubborn... but you wanted me to interact so, there’s your interaction!”

I never said that, but did say Moritz would interact with him.

It’s been two days since Alex spoke to Eva and he made his choice. She is proud that he at least seems to be taking charge. She sent him a bunch of heart emojis last night after he sent her the speech to pre-approve it.

He had spent the better part of both days reading for his classes, working —the fall musical auditions were next week so he had to paste posters all over campus, even the high school— or having unromantic and nonsexual thoughts about Moritz. I cannot do justice at how relieved he was about not seeing him in any of his other four classes. That would have wrecked him. He had also been lucky enough to not find him skulking about, which he knew was possible when I made a passing remark about the German walking around campus hoping to bump into him.

“He really thinks a tumble in the grass is going to do it for me too, huh?” he asks. And I honestly cannot deny it. “Well, he is a fool.”

Alex keeps going over his intentions and dialogue as he walks to school, the cool air of the mountain contrasting against the harsh sun of late summer. Just two classes and then confronting Moritz, it will be easy, he just has to be mentally prepared… right?

***

Alex should know better. He has heard my narration for twenty-two years so, he should really know better.

Moritz is standing in front of his Cultural Sociology classroom, checking a much maligned sheet of paper (his schedule) and looking all lost (and handsome) at the number of the classroom. The German has not yet noticed Alex, but the latter is already eyeing the balcony and wondering if a fall from the third floor would kill him (not lethal, but not ideal).

Alex stares waiting for me to say something. All I can tell him is that, he can't run forever.

He takes a deep breath and walks resolutely. 

“Look, güero, I understand you are…” he starts.

“Oh, hi Alex! Good to see you again,” and he is cut short. “Could you help me? Is this Cultural Sociology? My schedule has two numbers and I don’t know if I am on the right classroom.”

Moritz shows him the paper and, to Alex’s surprise, he is taking a full course load. Weren't exchange students only allowed to enroll in four classes? He puts a pin on that thought and checks class number quickly: Moritz has been confusing the course code with the class number. 

“Yes, güero, this is your classroom,” he says, pushing his hand away (it is ridiculously soft!) and staring him… upward? It is hard to stare down someone when you are about two heads below them.

“Thank you! My uni just finished validating my classes so, the school just barely got to assign me my missing classes here. I was getting worried… anyway, I won’t keep you, thank you so much,” he says placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder, and leaving the place to feel annoyingly warm.

Alex is stumped. Was that the same man that intensely wanted to get in his pants on Monday? Hadn’t he tried to chase him to the door before he went to the Academic Department? He wanted an explanation, and I wasn’t going to give it. This one was Eva’s to take.

“Eva?!” Alex mutters.

“Mr. Ramírez, are you coming in?” Mrs. Sandoval is right behind him and looking at him quizzically.

“Yes, I'm sorry, professor... I got lost in thought. After you!” he says, basically running towards his seat. And the German right behind it.

“Oh, so you’re taking this class too?”

“Yes, güero, I am,” he doesn’t mean to sound on edge but, he is!

“Oh. Ok,” says Moritz, picking up the his tone. Finally. But then he hears his voice soft, low and velvety, no trace of the raspiness he heard on Monday. “Look, I know I came out a bit too strong, I… I am sorry for that if I… um… well... I made you uncomfortable and I assure you it was not my intention.”

Mrs. Sandoval is taking attendance (he hates that they still have to do this, what are they, nine?), so Alex just turns his face a fraction to see Moritz’ own.

“I don’t like flirts,” he whispers flatly. “And I hate being put on the spot.”

“I understand,” Moritz seems more natural, he is not trying to crank up his charm and, honestly, it disarms Alex, much to his annoyance. He had a speech, damn it! “I will behave better, I just… look… um… I am new here, people have been all over me, and it is uncomfortable, but I am used to that and to acting a certain way. You don’t seem to... be a fan of that. So, um, it’d be nice to have someone to help me through class that doesn’t want to… jump all over me?”

Alex lets out a quiet sigh. He had just said he didn’t like being put on the spot but, he felt bad for the German so, if he was to do this, he needed me to clarify some points. So he made a mental list and hoped for answers.

Was this a ploy to get close to Alex? Yes, and no. Moritz wanted to get close to Alex, but he really needed friends right now.

Was he really that lonely? Absolutely. When you look like someone straight out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue most people don’t approach you to take interest in your thoughts and feelings.

Was Moritz still crushing? It’s been two days. Of course he was.

Will this affect his semester? No. But that was up to Alex, not Moritz or I. No matter how much he snickered and cussed at me incredulously.

“Fine,” Alex answers. ”But no more blocking my way or weird flirty winks, fuckboy.”

“I am no fuckboy!” he says sheepishly. Good.

“I call’em as I see’em, güero,” Alex says with a stifled laugh. He raises his hand as Mrs. Sandoval calls his name.

***

He had waited the whole class for an indication of Eva’s involvement on Moritz’ new attitude, but I wouldn’t budge. Alex would have to wait until lunch. Which was exactly where he was headed.

“Alex, are you going to the cafeteria?” Moritz asks. Like he didn’t know where everyone is going.

“Yes,” he pauses and sees Moritz’ expectant face. He throws his notepad into his backpack with a sigh. “Wanna come with?”

“I’d be glad to! I am seeing a friend and their pals there,” he answers, again with the thousand megawatt smile. If Alex weren’t so annoyed he’d be charmed.

They walk steadily and people are staring. The rumors will keep going, there’s nothing Alex can do about those, but at least he thinks he has controlled the Moritz situation, and Eva should be proud.

They go down the stairs in silence, stepping on as many new fish as they can on the way, then enter the Sombreado and begin their ascent towards the Community College Center (or CCC) where the cafeteria is.

Alex thinks he will get out of this one without having to make an effort when Moritz finally says something.

“I like this place, it is very… green,” he is looking at the expansive garden on their right. Alex knows exactly what he means, most people from cold countries adore the weather here. It is not unusual to see the Russians and Scandinavians sunbathe next to the big sculpture at the center of the yard: a bunch of huge yellow sticks sticking upward and on every direction, its official name is "Entropy" but most just call it "The Fries". Sometimes people gather and sing there too, or just do pacific protests (which are uncommon, considering it is private university for mostly rich kids).

“Well, you are long way from Germany.”

“Hahaha, not that I have been there in a while, I miss it too,” Moritz says. “My school is in London so… even more cloudy and dour than Germany.”

“Oh?”

“Have I finally picked your interest?”

“Is that a flirty tone I hear?” says Alex picking up the pace.

“Ok, ok! Sorry. Bad habit!”

They are going through a flight of stairs now, and Moritz stares at the Virgin’s shrine installed right into them before following him. It must be funny for him to see as many religious symbols, but then again, this is a “catholically inspired” university, although Alex would say they should do away with the “inspired” and just saw “catholic” for good measure.

“When I was accepted, they said the school was not all that religious, but...” Moritz says suddenly, like he had read his mind. “I've been invited to mass every day, the dorms and the Community Center have a chapel, and I think I’ve seen more religious decorations here than at my Grandma’s in Spain. It is all very... pious.”

“There’s a lot to unpack on that sentence…” Alex says stopping and making Moritz stumble behind him. “And about you. How do you speak Spanish so well?”

Did Alex never listen to me? His father is a Spaniard!

“My dad is from Spain and my mom is German. Dad taught me, hence the accent, ‘tío’,” he says with a laugh. “What do you want to unpack?”

“Nothing really. I said there was a lot to unpack, not that I was interested in unpacking it,” Alex says resuming the walk.

“Hahahaha, you are really an odd one, Mr. Ramírez,” he says behind him. The easiness catches him off guard.

“You don’t get to use my last name if I don’t know yours,” he retorts.

“Maybe you should pay attention to roll call, Mr. Ramírez,” Alex can hear a smile. Pinche güero culero. “It’s Alam. Moritz Arturo Alam König.”

“Arabic? But you said you were Spanish?” Alex stops again to see him. Moritz smiles and passes right by him.

“I thought you said you weren’t interested.”

Alex’s blush could be seen from the moon. He walks briskly past the German and hears a laugh. Alex tries to keep a distance between them, but Moritz has long legs, he is not easily left behind.

As soon as they enter the cafeteria and Alex sees Eva and Carlos at their table. He is about to turn and say bye to Moritz when he notices Eva waving at him, and the German waving back.

Yes, Alex thinks his calculated disinterest for Moritz' life is a safe way to be distant, but he could have actually known he is a Graphic Design and Publicity major like Eva and realized the connection beforehand… if only he were not stubborn.

“You know her?” Alex asks.

“Yeah! She is the friend I told you about.” Moritz says, all sunshine. “I told her the guides i-Link assigned me were annoying but, I had no one else to eat with… so she invited me to eat with her friends instead!”

Alex gives him a tense smile, and that’s how Moritz gets it.

“Are you the ‘friends’?” Mortiz says, once again sheepish, and seeing an almost two meters giant cower is a whole spectacle in itself.

“We’ll see after lunch,” Alex says flatly. “Let’s go.”

Eva is all rainbows and sunshine, greeting both with a hug and introducing Moritz to Carlos… who immediately decides to call him “Thor” because he has no imagination at all. They all sit and Eva gives Alex a self satisfied look. He wants bite her face off.

“Well, I will go get my meal, anyone else coming?” Alex asks, getting his wallet out and checking which franchise of the cafeteria is less crowded.

“I brought lunch,” Carlos says.

“Carlos bought mine. He lost a bet,” Eva says with a smile.

“I cook my own meals. They have kitchens at the dorms, you know?” Moritz says taking out a glass container.

“Yeah, I used to live there,” Alex answers absentmindedly.

“Oh? That’s great, why did you leave, though? They are so cozy!”

“I am private and I don’t like crowded spaces.”

“Oh,” Moritz says taking out his silverware. “I guess it makes sense, since four are sharing the bathroom and all… it can get a little cramped, but I like company!”

“Yes, I can see that,” Alex thinks, eyeing Carlos and Eva reacting to Moritz’ winning smile. “Now he is going to be adopted by these two dunces and it will be harder to avoid him. Great.”

“Anyhow, since no one else is coming, just save my seat,” he says taking his phone and leaving.

As soon as Alex is on the Subway lines he feels his cell vibrate. He doesn’t need me to know who it is: Eva…

La “Eva-siva” Acosta 

sooooooo… u lik my gft?

Alex

This was not a gift, it was an AMBUSH, YOU TRAITOR! 🤬

I had a speech! 🙃

La “Eva-siva” Acosta 

oh come oooooooooon. poor bb was in my class all sad :(

n chisme hpnd

u know… girl talk ;)

so i just said ppl lyk to b wooed n not intense fkboys

n i saw u 2 enter tgthr <3

u mov faaaaaaaast xD

Alex

I did not do this you treasonous 🐍!

Yes, you read right 🐍

Ugh, Evaaaaaaa whyyyyyyyyy! 😭

He is at our god damned table! 😓

La “Eva-siva” Acosta

so…? he is a bb

must PROTECT

Alex

I am the only baby, and baby wants to be able to chill! 😢

La “Eva-siva” Acosta

nflx n chill ;)

Alex

mrdr n chill 🔪

La “Eva-siva” Acosta

:(

He wants an explanation, but he is sure he doesn't need one. This was the same Eva that had forged love letters for Carlos' crushes to speed things along. She was a hands-on woman and an annoying romantic. He should have counted on this. Eva probably didn't even think he'd be able to deliver his speech. 

Alex goes back to the table with a liter of water, a footlong (one half for now, the other for dinner), a cookie and a scowl for the ages; but then he looks at the table and a different weight falls on his stomach.

They all look happy.

He'd been away just for a few minutes (twenty tops, the line was long) and they all seemed like old friends. Moritz was sharing food with Carlos, Eva was poking fun at Moritz’ glasses. The picture felt... right. Only he and Angela were missing, and he could imagine themselves there. German included.

Then Moritz looked his way with a smile. 

Yes, he was handsome, but there was something else, something he had felt in the morning and walking to the CCC… an ease that, ironically, made him uneasy, because it felt right. He didn’t know him yet, but he was tempted to do so. There was something about him he already enjoyed. And he hated it.

He didn’t want to get hooked. I had said it: this guy wasn't the one, and he knew getting attached would do him no good. Nothing good comes from that. Also Moritz was a foreigner, way out of his league and interested in something he couldn’t give. He might make him feel at ease now… but until when?

“Goey, people get hurt! It is a hazard of having relationships with others, it doesn’t mean we abstain ourselves from having them.” That’s what Eva had said. He hated the truth in that. 

He'd take the bait and see where it led him. Even if this guy were nothing more than another page on his story, it was worth a shot.