you know, i remember the day we met so vividly.

i don't know why but i had an urge to stay close to you

you saw me as a friend but i never thought of friendship when i was with you

i thought i did but i didn't

friendship was too limiting for me, i wanted more.

love is indeed kind, i was happy

love is indeed pure, my heart was filled with you even when i was in despair 

love is indeed patient, i've waited for you for so long. i've never rushed my love for you and if i have maybe once

love can be all this

but it can be greedy, i wanted all of you

from your smile, your gaze, your thoughts, your time, your heart, the feel of your touch, your warmth and your heart. i wanted it all

now i have unleashed all this to you

i told you i love you

i told you how much i care for you

how much i wanted you

but of course we cannot always get what we want

i want to cry

i want to let out all my pain

i have longed for you and i cannot have you

i gave my all and received nothing

it is not your fault but

who am i to blame?

myself? no. why must i blame myself!

it is not a force i can control

the heart wants what it wants. and it happened to want you and only you!

is that my fault?

i feel so wasted

i'm in agony while you live your life normally

i pity myself without shame

if i don't who will

if you really understood the depth of the feelings i so gracefully gave you

you would have not asked me to stay by your side

you are selfish! selfish! selfish!

i hate you! i want to hate you! i want to leave you behind, maybe then you will feel what loneliness i felt!

what am i supposed to do?  

i want to cry! i want to die!

my heart feels like it's on fire, i want to rip it out

i don't regret meeting you

i don't regret loving you

i just wish none of this happened.