“They changed the swing sets.”

The rough white stone gravel crunched underneath the car tires as they pulled up to a stop. The vast, overhanging trees provided some shade to the lakeside beach, though no one lounged in the coarse sand, thick with pine needles and twigs. The ice cream shop was closed, and Yanlie suspected that the death of the owner’s wife a year back would keep it from ever being reopened. The stage to the left of the building was empty, though ancient streamers still glittered in the air as the wind blew past. They had, indeed, changed the swing sets.

What Yanlie had once regarded as a castle of mystery was now a boring set of typical park fixtures. When they were young, there was a massive jungle gym constructed of wood, with bridges that jumped and swayed with every step, and slides that twisted in on themselves. There had been a rope swing, where one could try and fail to land on tires embedded halfway in the earth. There was a massive swing that could seat an entire friend group, and then some, comfortably, in the seats of repurposed tires. Sure, the slides had been made out of metal that burned anyone’s thighs on the way down, and you were guaranteed splinters from the mulch, but what was the point of being a kid if you weren’t going to get some dirt in your wounds?

“Yeah,” Yanlie said softly. They parked the car and unclipped their seat belt, and led the way out onto the beach.

New benches had been installed. Yanlie sat on one, and Ruby sat beside them, meticulously tucking their skirt under them. The pair sat together for a moment to watch the ducks, back for the summer, as they slid across the black and blue surface of the water. Across the lake, a couple canoes floated gently on the water, all blurs of orange and red. Birds twittered overhead while sand bees dug busily on the beach. Ruby sniffed quietly.

“You don’t deserve it, Ruby.”

They looked toward Yanlie while the other continued to stare forward.

“All those guys that treat you like shit, it isn’t what you deserve. You haven’t earned it because you’re different. Being trans doesn’t mean you deserve less healthy relationships than a cis person.”

Ruby shifted, seeming unsettled by the directness of Yanlie’s words. “..who else is going to love me, though? I mean, I should settle for what I can get, righ-”

“No.” Yanlie turned to look at them, eyes set into a gentle, but stern glare. “You should not settle for men who walk all over you and treat you like shit. Ruby, you are going to find love. You are going to find someone who makes you happy. And let me tell you, you’re going to make them very happy someday too.”

Ruby’s tears began anew. Yanlie sighed and moved closer, wrapping their arms around Ruby as the far taller began to shudder with quiet sobs. “I just- I want it. I want somebody who cares about me. I want someone who loves me, and loves me now.”

Yanlie sighed and sat up, head tilting back to look up at Ruby as they brushed glistening tear tracks away. “You do, Ruby. You have us, you have your friends. You know how much we love you.”

“I know, but… It isn’t the same.”

Yanlie frowned slightly, sitting back. Their hands returned to their lap, worrying the edge of their shirt. “I know it isn’t quite the same. That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy as you are right now.”

Ruby sighed softly, reaching up to carefully pat their eyes dry once more. They stared listlessly out at the lake, eyes flushed red and makeup smudged. Yanlie couldn’t help but notice that even after bawling their eyes out, they were so beautiful. How could they think they had to settle for anyone? Ruby could have the whole world around their finger if they truly wanted to.

“What about you?” Their soft words broke Yanlie out of their thoughts with a small shake.

“Huh?”

Ruby’s hazel gaze fell on Yanlie. “Have you been seeing anyone?”

“Oh…” Yanlie looked away, rubbing their shoulder. “No, not since high school. College, I was too busy, and after Kip died, well…” They closed their eyes, shaking their head, doing their best to block out the image of their little brother’s cold blue hands before the memory rose completely to the surface. “Well, I’ve been working through some stuff on my own.”

“..I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Ruby averted their eyes as well.

“No, it’s okay,” Yanlie said quickly, lifting their head. They avoided looking at Ruby however. “It’s something I should think about, you know? I don’t… Like, living alone. I don’t want to live alone. I want a family one day… Kids, maybe.”

Ruby looked back at Yanlie, smiling slightly. “You’d make a good parent. You’ve got it all together. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Yanlie.”

Yanlie felt their face go pink. They looked aside, toying with their hair, quietly pleased by Ruby’s assessment of them. They certainly didn’t feel like they had it all together. They’d been drifting on the same path of lily pads they’d been chasing that had become meaningless ever since their brother died. How could that be considered responsible?