That evening was one of the rare moments where Tord and Tobi had a quiet moment together during they're winter in Norway.
The snow was falling heavy that evening, so the meeting that was scheduled was pushed back for another day, which meant Tord had the rest of the night free to spend with his 11 year old son.
The army leader was silently reading a book on a luxurious red couch as Tobi quietly finished up his homework while laying on the rug in front of the fireplace.
The young boy snuck a glance at the painting hanging above the fire place, haulting his work.
The painted picture hanging there was of his deceased mother. Tobi had never had a chance to know her though, because his birthday was also the anniversary of her death.
Patryk, who had been close to her, would sometimes tell him small things about her when his father wasn't around.
Like how Tobi had her smile, and they would both get this glint in they're eyes whenever they were about to do something "adventurous", but no one really talked about what kind of person she was other than that.
Yuu, who had been Tobi's main caretaker growing up, told him she was a sweet person, with a warm melancholy personality, but the two of them weren't as close as his mother and Patryk, though.
And his father, well, Tord barely mentioned his mother's name. Still despite his silence, every year without fail, Tord would take a bouquet of dark pink roses to his mother memorial for her birthday. But he always went alone.
Everyone around him knew so much about her, while he knew so little about her.
Taking a deep breath, not taking his eyes off the painting Tobi decided to try asking a question, mustering up all his courage.
"Hey Papa-" he spoke up, and Tord made a small "Mh" of acknowledgement not taking his working eye off the 'book' he was reading.
"Can you tell me something about Mama...?" Tobi stiffened a bit when be heard his father close the book he was reading hard enough to make a audible sound.
"Tobi. You know better than to ask about your mother." The tone in Tords voice said he was kind of... upset and irritated. "Let alone ask me directly." Tobi gripped his pencil tight feeling his resolve start to dissolve...
"But.... I..." Tobi swallowed hard. "I just wanna know about her...." he could feel himself crumbling under his father's stare, the tone in his voice having the boy already feeling like he was about to lose his own voice.
"No one ever talks about her... and you never let me go with you when you visit her on her birthday...." the preteen could feel the tears start to prick his eyes as his voice cracked, trying not to choke on it. "It's not fair...."
"Are you going to start crying...?" His father asked putting the book onto the side table rather roughly and Tobi flinched. "What have I told you about crying?"
Tobi bit his lip trying not to let a whimper escape as his father's voice and gaze made him feel ready to break down in sobs.
"You are 11 years old, if you dont learn to stop crying now," he heard his father growl harshly. "You'll never learn...."
A few seconds past as Tobi tried his hardest not to start crying, he started curling up as his body trembled.
"Anwser Me Soldier!" Tord commanded slamming his fist down onto the arm of the couch, anger overflowing from his voice, startling the little boy.
The words dropped quietly out of the young boys mouth, trying his hardest not to let a sob escape, "It's a w-waste to cry! A-And it's a sign of weakness to cry... in front of someone....!" His shaky voice cracked as he bit back his sons as hard as he could.
"Look at me when your talking."
Tobi sat up and turned to look up at his father, full tears threatening to overflow as he did so. Tord had a cold stern look on his face.
Again silence over took the room, the fire being the only thing making any noise at all.
After a long moment of staring, Tord could see how hard his son was trembling, and how badly the child was biting back his sobs and tears. He had to acknowledge the fact that the boy had probably wanted to ask about his mother every chance he got, and that it took a lot to even attempt it. He than realized how stupid it was to have gotten so mad and so stern for no good reason.
His gaze traveled up to the painting, just as Tobis had. The bittersweet gaze painted in her eyes, honestly made it look like she herself was about to cry, despite the warm smile on her face. God he missed her.
Once again, Tord has momentarily lost his temper, and over a child just wanting to hear about his mother no less.
Letting out a sigh as he rubbed his stubble face. The leader thought of what would she think of him if she witnessed this, and Tord softened his expression, opening his arms welcomingly to the boy, "Come here, my brave little soldier."
Tobi practically threw himself into his father's arms as the boy barried his face into the red hoodie material.
Tord began apologizing for raising his voice and getting mad as he gently rubbed the boy's back, and even telling him that just this once, it was ok to cry, so long as he tried to calm down.
It took a little while, but Tobi soon calmed down. He really was like his mother in a lot of ways. His lover was also the type to try and hide her tears, even going so far to suffer in silence if she felt the need. That was no doubt the reason she had started getting early greys.
And now Tobi was on his way to being the same, once again, all because of Tord and his stupid temperament problems.
He heard his son making small hiccuping sounds as his breathing calmed down, and Tord gently carded his fingers in his sons dark caramel colored hair, gently stroking his head.
No doubt when tomarrow came, that night would not change anything, and would be forgotten. He just couldn't change from being the man the world turned him into, despite the small moments his old self managed to show. So, he tried to take advantage of those moments when he could, so atleast Tobi wouldn't hate him.
"Your mother, really, really, loved the snow," Tord hushed resting his chin on the boys head. "She told me it was one of the few things she loved about Russia." Tobi fell silent as Tord continued.
Tord told Tobi about how his mother loved coffee, no matter how bad or how bitter it was, she'd drink 3 whole pots herself if they let her. He told him about how she could be naive at times, but always helped out where she could. But most importantly, Tord told Tobi, the moment she found out she was pregnant, Tobi was all she could think about.
"If things had happened differently... or maybe in another world all together... we could gave been a happy family..."
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Ye I have no excuse. It snowed the other day n tried to write something sweet, but than I wrote about Tord snapping at his child out out grief and just being an ass than trying to make up for it before his Mr. Hyde persona comes back.
P.s. I forgot to post it here so it's a few weeks late.
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