“Although I do have an awesome pair of pouty lips to carry out the best pouttiest pout ever in the universe… Quite literally!!” And I chuckled at my joke.

“I didn’t finish… You pout and then… Plot to wipe out whole of the civilizations to get your point across.”

“I DO NOT!!?!!” I whisper-yelled, now totally offended. “You can’t say stuff like that…” I looked around to make sure no one was listening.

“No one will dare to eavesdrop…” John rolled his eyes. “More accurately, no one can.” Drawing out a Bowie knife from his belt, he surveyed the beach satisfactorily. “No one will get to you before confronting me.” And then smiled creepily.

I shuddered and stared at him. “You know, anyone would have gotten the ‘feels’ in their heart by that resolve. You know the sweet flutter when you hear something heartwarming. Then you smiled… Not your ‘I am so happy… Let’s eat Pecan Pie’ smile. It was your…” Changing my voice to a deep, alcoholic douche-bag's, I smirked and continued with a hiss. “It issss your ‘I am sssso bored… Let’sss kill some jackassessss…’ sssmile. I got chillssss down my sssspine…”

Secretary… PA… Bodyguard… Assassin… John is a Man… or Entity of many talents… apart from gifts he was born with. (I gift everyone at birth. Some gifts more apparent than others)

“Ohkkkkkkk. Let’s get back to topic at hand. What happened with the Vikings?”

“You know that they plundered and raped…” I mumbled.

“They traded as well…”

“Everybody has to do that…” I mumbled and rolled my eyes. “Human kind needed to learn not to rape and plunder. But do they LEARN?? No, they DID NOT. Even now, I have to deal with people who rape and plunder in the same way.”

“What about Anasazi?”

“How dare you…” I gasped. “You were smirking that time, quite happy with how things turned out for them. Even humans agree with me. They found signs of massacres and cannibalism. They even had no regard for nature and decapitated trees, bringing in drought to the area for ages to come…”

John considered that and replied again “OK. I concur with you on that… Then, what about the Roman empire?”

I paused and mumbled slowly. “They promoted slavery and abused their own subjects by taxing them heavily and expending them in only military. Then they went and made slavery a sport and called them gladiators. I still feel sorry for them. And this is only one of the reasons they fell…”

“I didn’t say you were wrong. I am just pointing out examples of… What was that? Ahh Yessss… Your best pouttiest pout ever in the universe… And then comes… cue the drums… ‘I am angry… Face my wrath HUMANS!!??!’ voice!!” He paused and widened his eyes dramatically as an anime girl. “Do you feel warm? Clue: It isn’t because of the beach or the sun… Because you just got BURNED, baby… BURNED…” He winked and chuckled.

“Don’t act Sassy!! I didn’t ask for sass, Young man?? What did I always say about Sass??”

John replied instantly, without losing a moment. “Move over people; my sassy mode is in full form today!!”

I paused in my rant, confused. “No… Wait what…”

John lifted his brows and continued. “A sass a day keeps the basics away.”

“I did say that… once… or twice… but what…”

John smirked and continued. “Also… If I was Sassy, I would have a good Instagram caption.”

I considered that. I had said it… Like a million times… Also, THAT is my current Instagram caption.

“Dammit!?!!” I mumbled. “Get back to work now…”

“Ok… Okk… No need for sass…” John smirked and turned back to his work, completely proving his point. Like always…