We all dedicated the days that came after to study for midterms. There weren’t many classes to study for, but there was a lot to study about. Our exams were designed to test our reasoning skills by explaining and defending our answers to four questions on a single sheet of yellow paper. You had to be concise, but more importantly you had to back your statements with facts and supporting literature.

Hailing from a different department, Gab’s tests were different. So he just studied like his normal ways while looking at the three of us furrow our brows, bite our lips, and frantically write our answers to the practice tests we made for each other. He’s fully integrated into the Godfathers now. Sometimes he would workout with Tristan and John as I would take my gym classes in the dance hall. Sometimes he would play computer games with them while I sat comfortably in the cafe reading my book. But for most part, he would spend most of his time with me. We texted each other often. He would come over to my room bringing food. We’d watch tv series together, cuddle on bed, or talk all night.

Midterms finally passed and I could finally let out a sigh of relief. I wanted to celebrate this moment.

“Let’s go somewhere.” Gab suggested to me as if he heard my thoughts.

“Sure! Wanna come, Tristan?” I invited Tristan. He gave me this surprised and nervous look.

“Uhm, I’ll pass. I have some things to do.” He replied awkwardly as he looked from Gab to me.

“Okay… What about you, John?”

John scratched his head and declined my offer saying he too had some things to do.

“Where are we going?”

Gab smiled in excitement, “to the sky.”

The streets were packed, every detour we took led us from one traffic jam to another. I was starting to get irritated as I can see the red glows from the tail lights and hear the beeps of cars honking in every direction.

“What the hell is happening? Traffic has never been this terrible?” I complained as there didn’t seem to be any respite from all these jams.

“Try to sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re there.” Gab noticed my annoyance.

He woke me up three hours hours later. He looked exhausted and I could only imagine how that would feel like. I’ve had my fair share of terrible traffic, but living within the city meant I didn’t have to travel far so I didn’t take that much time on the road.

When I got out of the car, I instantly hugged myself and rubbed my arms noticing the unexpected chill. I’ve never been in this part of the city where it was this cold. But this wasn’t your regular part of the city, this was in the mountains. I could tell by the slope on the road. Gab took out two coats. I picked the black coat with a faux fur attached to the lapel. Walking on my left, he kept me warm by rubbing my arms. We got to the restaurant and Gab told the host his reservation.

“The Godfathers were in on this, weren’t they?” I knew something was up. Those two would never, under normal circumstances, resist an offer for an adventure.

“I might’ve ran over the plan with them.” Gab was proud of their little secret.

The host led us to a table overlooking the city. I don’t know which view was more surprising. The beautiful skyline adorned with glowing warm lights or the candlelit table in the gazebo.

“What on earth?” I was still trying to process what my eyes were taking in. What on earth possessed Gab to take me out to a romantic dinner. Sure we’ve hung out more, texted more, kissed and cuddled, he slept over more, but we never made a thing out of it.

“What’s all this for?” I finally asked trying to understand the situation.

“Nothing.” he said as he pulled my chair for me. I’ve never been treated this way before. I’ve dated guys in the past but no one could measure up to what Gab was doing right now.

“Can we have our appetisers please?” he asked the waiter as the man poured white wine in our glasses. It was a complete table setting. Judging by the number of cutlery on the table this is gonna be a four course meal.

“I think you already know how I feel about you.” Gab started the conversation.

“And considering how you would never dodge my kisses I can only hope you feel the same.” I looked away and smiled. The wind was cold but it felt very hot in my jacket. My body was reacting ferociously to the romantic scene. He offered his hand and I took it.

“There’s still a lot about you I’m yet to know about, but I want to be there for you. These past few months, you’ve made me realise that it is possible to trust someone again even after it's been torn to bits and pieces. You took it upon yourself to mend my broken heart. You opened and revealed it for the world to see, but I only wanna close it again and keep you safe in it forever.”

“Your past and mine are just as dark, and I believe that you and I could be the light to guide us through the darkness.” I sipped the fine wine. I can’t believe the words I’m hearing. After all the pain I’ve gone through in my youth, I never thought I would hear such affirming words to melt my delicate heart.

“Gab,” flattered was an understatement for what I felt, “there’s more to me than what meets the eye. I’m not sure I can give you what you want.”

I had to warn him. My life was already cruelly determined for me and he would be the last soul I want to disappoint again.

“There are certain matters that will complicate our relationship. I don’t know if you’re ready for that.”

“New, ever since we started hanging out I’ve never been happier. You’ve taught me a lot of things and I am so grateful for that. You’ve only brought the best in me, I’m sure I’ll be able to get through the struggles because I’ll have your guiding light. I know that times will get tough, we will be tested to our limits, but always remember that when the sun sets, it will always rise again and a new day awaits us. I want to be there for you, from dusk till dawn.”

I failed to keep a tear from trickling down my cheek. He wasn’t aware what lay ahead and I don’t know if I can bring myself to hurt him. He’s already had his heart broken before, he doesn’t need another one.

They say one should never be deprived of love and happiness. But what happens when loving will only lead to despair? Who then has the authority to choose between love and happiness? Whose responsibility is it to deprive a precious soul of life’s greatest duo? I don’t know what to do. Neither textbook nor training has ever prepared me for this moment. Novels and poems are my best sources, but even those were incapable of advising me on how to deal with this dilemma. Which would be the greater of the two evils? To take him now, fulfill his wish to spend the rest of time, my time, with me and eventually leave him behind, alone and broken hearted? Or to reject him now and deprive him of the affection he yearns to have with me?

“I know about your condition.”

My eyes grew wide. What did he say? Did I hear the words right? Could I have mistaken it for something else?

“Tristan told me,” he sighed.

“He told you exactly what?”

“That you don’t have much time left,” he looked down, avoiding my gaze, “Tristan and John thought I should know if I really want to be with you?”

It was nearly impossible to hold up the tears now.

“It’s osteosarcoma.” I teared as I explained to him my disease.

“It’s a type of bone cancer that produces immature bones, it's more common among men than women. At first I ignored the pain, stubborn as I always was. When I was eventually sent to the hospital during freshman year, they discovered the cells. I got treatments, went to chemotherapy, lost my hair and even my strength. But alas the cancer was strong and I wasn’t. I guess father was right, I really am not strong enough. I visited the doctor last year, they told me it’s in its terminal stage. I asked how much time I had left and they gave me a year, at most.”

He looked up to see me. The candlelight reflected from his teary eyes. He smiled and rubbed my hand with his thumb reassuringly.

“And in spite all of that, you still want to share my limited time with me?”

He chuckled and smiled. “Yes.”

Once again, my decision was made for me. But for a change, this time around I didn’t feel low. Instead I’m at the peak of my happiness.

“Will you have me, Newton Edward Wu? For better or for worse? Till death do us part?”

He pulled me from our table. We stood there, hands held together and the view of the twinkling city light to our side.

I kissed him. The frigid air made his lips chappy but I couldn’t care any less. This man has only brought happiness to my life and I want it to be that way to the end.

“Yes, I will.” We kissed again. Our lips lingered longer this time. Our tongues battled for dominance and this time I won, I danced in this oral cavity as he gave in. I kissed him more, softly and passionately this time. I am beyond grateful to have met him.

As if on cue, the city lit with the sporadic display of beautiful fireworks. Tiny explosions of vibrant colors filled the night sky at varying heights. It glowed red, green, blue, and gold. It drizzled, twinkled, and danced to the rhythm of distant music. They couldn’t possibly be all cheering for us, right?

“The traffic jam a while ago was because of a local holiday.” explained Gab whilst we spectated the pyrotechnic display below us.

“Oh right, I totally forgot about that.” Midterms got the best of me. I lost count of the events that were taking place beyond the four walls of my classrooms.

It took us hours to finish our dinner. We enjoyed it with talks about anything and everything, laughters over the silliest of things, and music to serenade us through the night.