“Do you feel better?” Anaissa asked, visibly worried for me.

“Well enough to come here by myself, so well enough to have that chat you promised me before”.

Everything changed back to the way it was before she made me see all that Snow madness. No particles hindered my sight and no strange stuff caused me to lose touch with reality. And, still, I felt something very serious had changed inside me.

“If you ask me, you should be bedridden at least two more days” I stomped the table, mildly irritated, to argue her statement but she stopped me before that, “but you didn’t ask, so I won’t say anything more about it” she served some coffee and cookies with unusual tranquility. “Everything feels strangely different, is that why you’re here?”

“I can’t see the Snow now, but that’s your thing, isn’t it?”

Anaissa nodded, not even trying to deny it.

“As I said, that was a” push. “It wasn’t meant to be permanent. I opened your vision a bit and, now, it healed to its original state. But you’re not complaining, I hope” she didn’t wait for me to reply. “Of course not, because you’ve started to understand what happened to you”.

“Somehow, yes, I half get it. Still, I don’t understand how I attracted that stuff to me”.

“Remember that thing I said about how every existing thing attracted Snow but, especially, sentient creatures?” she repeated that to me countless times when I tried to understand the letter” a. “Of course I remembered. “In the place I came from, some people call that” the second law of creation. “The mind is a strange thing: if, after understanding the Snow around and then attracting it to you, you can replicate something completely in your thoughts, the Snow would be attracted to that perfect replica of reality in your mind because sentient life is” heavier” than common existence. You attract the Snow, the Snow finds a structure to get attached to, like the concept of silence you molded, and it comes into existence as soon as you let it go” she laughed it out. “It would be stupid easy if weren’t for the understanding part, don’t you think?”

“But that doesn’t explain why I feel this way” I looked at my hands and, like every time since that morning, I felt something was horribly off.

“Like you’re inside a dream?” I nodded. “Like you are still asleep? Like nothing you feel is real?” again and again, I reaffirmed myself. “Do you know what’s funny about all of this? That’s exactly what a knowledgeable existence feels like”.

“What do you mean?” my heart half stopped right there.

I’d run for my life in Thaeb, fleeing from guepos and urscos; I put my life on the line in my discussions with my father; I clung to life when I was a stowaway in the space ship that brought me to Earth but, now, for the first time in my life, I felt real fear. Not because of Anaissa, but for my very existence.

“…are you telling me…?” I tried to select my words with care” …that my entire life has been… a dream?”

“Your life is real, but in this moment, when there’s no filter for your senses, you feel the world raw” she pointed out, unfazed by the harsh truth she had just revealed to me. “Heck, if I had ripped your vision completely, you would’ve seen the backstage of reality and, believe me, that’s something you don’t want to see” she offered me her hand. I was hesitant to extend mine but, eventually, I reached her fingers. “Maybe, something in your head is telling you” this hand is only a block of that strange substance” and, yes, that’s true. That doesn’t make me less real, nor make my words false, nor does it mean your feelings for all of this aren’t there. If your previous perception of the world were as if you were near-sighted, I’ve just corrected your vision. Right now, you’re just getting used to it, second by second” she covered my hand with hers and pulled it to her face, to her warm lips. “And, as you recover your normal sensitivities, you’ll notice how much you gained from your obsessive study of the Snow. Maybe you won’t be able to change reality at my scale, but you now will be able to start changing little things. Until you’re able to cure all maladies like you wanted” Anaissa firmly grabbed my hand and smiled at me. “Until then, I’ll be your master. Maybe I don’t like healing as much as I like hurting, but if anything, I’m very knowledgeable of my craft. And now that you are a real initiate, you’ll only get better at it”.

Until then, what Anaissa gave me was only a basic promise. Now, she was declaring it official. I didn’t know her that much yet, but…

“Are you alright?” Anaissa stood worried when she saw me bend on the table.

“…more or less” a mix of headache and tons of visions clouded my mind for an instant. “I’ve seen… no, I should say, I’ve felt” truth. “Something crossed my mind briefly, something I can’t describe. I know it had a shape... but…”

“It’s normal. I can imagine you won’t see numbers and math the same way anymore. I haven’t since my first creation, at least”.

She kept smiling and laughing. She was sincere in her demonstration of joy. She wanted me to be happy with my achievement.

But she was really worried. For me, for her maybe having made a mistake in teaching me her ways, for my future…

“Do you need more time to rest?” she kneeled by my side, comforting me. “I’m used to the brats of the orphanage already. I could work there for a while longer, no problem, until you recover”.

“Sooner or later, they’ll notice” I shook my head after a new flow of almost incomprehensibly intangible shapes crossed in front of my eyes. “They’re smarter than they seem” new vision. “No, they already know there’s something fishy about you. And you know that”.

“If you can feel that already, I seriously recommend you to stay here for the time being” she wanted to be firmer, but she couldn’t raise her voice against me. Not now.

“I can…”

“No, you cannot” finally, in a very soft way, she imposed on me. “Last thing any of us want is for you to have a complete sensory overload at your job. Your body is still adapting to your first creation. If you would have created something simpler, you would feel better by now. But you created a concept. That’s not an easy task and, because of it, your mind is a bit shattered. Never have a strenuous workout without a proper warm up, they say” she tried to joke out of it, but I knew better. Still, she had convinced me. Again, that cup she offered me would remain untouched.

She guided me by the arm, slow and steady. I wondered how in the world I had accomplished reaching her home in my state. Everything felt so unreal now, even if she said that was exactly the contrary. From my feet on the ground, to the air I breathed... Even she felt strange.

“What can you give to the person who already has it all?” she muttered as she undressed me. “What could the person who doesn’t need anything wish for?” she put me on her bed. “What can the person with all the power in the world do?” she undressed herself and got into the bed, next to me. “Now, you have all creation at your fingertips” she embraced me tenderly. “Only thing you can’t have is other people’s wills” she kissed me on the cheek. “I offer mine to you, because yours is strong and I’m inclined to respect such strength” she said to the person in her bed that she treated like a doll.

But I was so tired, so out of myself, that I fell into slumber in her arms.

I was happy…