"Christian, can you please try have a discussion with me in English?" My English Tutor said with obvious difficulty with his Spanish. "Yeah, um... hello. My name is Christian, I have 15 years, I am Colombian, um..." I said slowly, trying to pronounce every word correctly.

"And your family?" I paused for a second, trying to think up facts of my family that I would naturally say when introducing myself. "I... um... I was this first and only child born into the family, and my parents—" "parents," my tutor said in a dull but annoyed tone, he seemed to have gotten sick of me accidentally saying the word parents in Spanish.

"Sorry, parents. My parents own the new... um... " I looked to my tutor for help just as my father walked in speaking with his rough and deep voice he said " I hope you're not cheating on your examination, child." I shook my head looking at my feet " No, father," he looked at me accusingly with complete distrust, though I still avoided his eyes I could him stare from the corner of my eye. 

"He's doing surprisingly well, seeing as he just started two months ago, he can now say most basic words in the English language and follow a conversation. I'd say he'd do well moving at this point." My Tutor, Edward, boasted.  "In fact, he was just about to talk about his parents occupation" he said with fake enthusiasm as he waved his hand to my direction.

My father looked at him blankly, "oh really," something about the way he said it made me feel as if he didn't truly believe that I could be capable of doing something as simple as learning another language, despite the fact that I already learnt four languages and spoke them fluently. Besides, I already know how to follow a conversation in English. It's all my brother spoke to me in. Not to mention I know most basic words already, these were not basic words.

"How about we heard it then, Christian?" 

I looked at my feet as I spoke in a small voice, "all of it?"

"Yes," he sounded annoyed, if Edward wasn't here he probably would have slapped me upside the back head for be an idiot, "the whole thing."

"Okay. My name is Christian, I have 15 years, I am Colombian, I was the first child born into the family, My parents own the new..." I was hesitant through the whole thing and now I was suck, how do you say secondary school again? My father tapped he foot impatiently. " The new um...  Catholic schoo—"

"Edward," he was pissed, "Please excuse us." Edward nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Son, look at me." I did as I was told and hesitantly looked up to meet my father's cold eyes, "Do you realise how much more time we have?" He  bent down so he could level he face with my from where I was sitting. I nodded my head and earned myself a painfully loud slap, I fell of my chair with a thud. 

He stood straight, staring down at me. "Translate everything I have just said." His face was emotionless. I was terrified of failing again but also terrified of saying no to him. The left side of my face stung and my vision was a little blurry. I got up and sat back down onto my seat. I cleared my voice and said, "you said : You realize how much more time we have." I continued to stare at  my feet, refusing to look at him in fear of another slap.  "Do you?" "Yes fath– father."

"You know I'm only doing this for you, right?" His voice soften in the slightest bit. "

"Yes father, I know."

"I want you in bed in 10 minutes time. Tomorrow morning I want you to be the first one in that taxi. Do you understand me." He said, instantly standing straight, the harshness of his tone softened to an emotionless tone. He spoke fast but I understood most of what he had said. "Yes father." I replied.

"Good. You may go now." I got up and made my way to the door, pausing when he called out to me. "Oh I forgot, your phone." That was the first time papa even mentioned a phone to me since Zacarias's death. I turned to see him holding a phone box. "Come here."

I slowly walked back towards him, timidly. "Here, you're going to need it," he smiled and accomplished smile, as if that was all it took to get me looking up to him again. I gave him a small and fake smile as I received my new phone. I looked down and thanked him before making my way back to my bedroom.

In there I stuffed the phone into my backpack and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I looked into the mirror I could tell there was a bruise forming where papa had hit me. I splashed cold water on my face before deciding to just take a bath, the water would have still been cold the next morning anyways, so there was no pointing in waiting, besides the cold water would help the bruise on my face.

In the bath my mind wondered to the magazines I found in Zacarias's room the night before, it was filled to the rim with pictures of naked women and men. It was probably there for a while too. I don't even know what the point of it was. I started to doubt my idea of bringing them along with me to California.

I lived in Bogotá, Colombia. I was born and raised here, But we had to move for mama and papa's new job. Not gonna lie, all I was interested in was the school I was moving to. It wasn't Catholic so I wouldn't have to act like I'm an angel. I could be me, for once, away from my parents's judging eyes. It sounded like bliss.

I finished up in the bath and jumped onto my bed, not even bothering to pull the covers over my head like I did every other night. 'Cause tonight, unlike every other night, I was calm. This was goodbye, to my wretched neighbors, the suffocating feeling in this house and to all my peers in school, who refused to even approach me in fear of 'corrupting' me. 

It was a new start, and because of that I fell into a peaceful slumber for the first time in two years.

~~

I had the car packed and ready to go after getting ready for the day ahead of me, all I that was left for me to do was to get my backpack. 

On the way to my bedroom I passed Zacarias's bedroom, my heart strained as I stopped at his door. The fire left the deepest marks on his door. I entered his room, the inside was untouched by the fire though there were a few burns at the threshold. I took a look around, at what used to be the safest spot in the house for me. It was forever gone, along with him...

I made my way to his closet, on top of it was where he kept his prized possessions. Without a second thought, I grabbed one of his old backpacks and loaded all his keepsakes into it, only stopping for a quick second to gaze at his picture; it was the most recently taken photo of him, a week before his death. It was taken before he went out on a date with his 'girlfriend'. His deep brown eyes were filled with pure happiness. My parents were immensely proud of their 19 year old adopted son, thinking his relationship would one day lead to them gaining a heir, little did they know his 'girlfriend' was actually his boyfriend.

My eyes burned with tears as I began to think back to the conversation we had when he came back that night.

~Flashback~

"Psst, child, move over." I was in his bedroom, in his bed, occupying the whole bed, and he wasn't in the slightest bit pissed. As a matter of fact he was elated, with a smile so wide I was afraid his lips would break off. 

I moved to the side as he got himself dressed for bed, he only ever slept with his shirt off  so all he had to do was put on sweatpants.

When he finally got into the bed, I spoke. "How was it," he had this look in his eyes that I already knew meant, 'bro, my mind is so deep in the gutter right now that I don't even care if you're just a 12 year old, I'mma talk about my sexual fantasies and sex life in great detail' so I quickly ended with, "the date, I mean."

He rolled onto his side to face me, I could tell by the way he was smiling, he really like the guy. "He's adorable, he took me to the movies to watch a horror movie despite the fact he hated them, and screamed at every jump scare," he was rushing his words making it harder for me to understand him. "And afterwards he brought me to Jardín Botánico de Bogotá José Celestino Mutis," he paused to take an exaggerated breath in, then continued. " Oh my Lord conejito it was amazing," he said elongating the last word's vowels. "It was so beautiful, and he," my brother began to blush at the memory, he chuckle lightly before saying, "he told me how much he loved me." He was smiling uncontrollably as he said, "don't freak out," his face quickly went serious as he warned, "and never do what I did ever," his smile returned as fast  as it left as he finished his previous sentence, "Gabriel proposed... and I said yes..." He was waiting for my reply. 

My brother was engaged after one date... But all I could think about was the fact that there was no kiss... What if Gabriel is a bad kisser, then what's gone happen.

"So..." I gave my brother my best look of disappointment, "he didn't kiss you?" I didn't even wait for Zacarias to reply before saying, "drop him." My tone was final. Clearly that was lost on him.

He rolled his eyes, "no baby, we kissed... for a long time" he readjusted himself so he could look me in my eyes, "and you know what? That kiss sealed the deal for me, it helped me realize that I want all of him, I want to give my all to him. Because I really do love him..." tears began to line his eyes as he spoke with sincerity. "Love, that's all that matters. I am a guy, in love with a dude. There is nothing wrong with it, I'm a bisexual Christian and I'm proud. Because I'm me... and I love myself and I love you. Baby, you be who you are, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise... not even papa." I picked up my hand to wipe his tears.

A small smile slid onto his lips as I responded in a small, gentle voice."Okay." "Promise me, Christian." He squeezed my hand lightly. "I promise," I said as I moved into his chest hugging him as he wrapped his arms around me in a protective shell. "Good. Sleep well my child" "Good night" I whispered, it was barely audible but I knew he heard me.

~End Of Flashback~  

I wondered why he had gotten so sentimental, but then again, he was the only in this family who was different. Him being Bi and all.

I placed the picture into the backpack and drew the cross, saying a quick prayer for him. I slung the backpack onto my back and made my way to my bedroom after saying goodbye one last time.

I was back in the car once I've gotten my backpack. I sat in the back and waited, patiently, for my parents to come down. Knowing full well that they were still asleep I took the phone box of my new phone out of my backpack.

I opened up the box to find a charger, a memory card, earphones, a sim and, of course, the actual phone. It took a while but by the time I was done setting it up I had an Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat account along with an email address.

I turned off the phone and continued to wait for my parents. I had spent over an hour setting up my phone. My parents still hadn't arrived and I was exhausted, I knew that if I were to take a nap father would probably kill me, but I couldn't help it. Before I knew it I was asleep, that made my parents arrival faster as I woke to father's fist colliding with the side of my face.

"I thought I told you to go to bed early, idiot." His voice streamed with pure anger and frustration as he yelled in my face before dismissing me and climbing into the drivers seat and starting up the car, ignoring my apologies all the while.

I greeted my parents with a good morning despite knowing they would ignore me. All I needed was to keep to my brother's orders, no matter what.

We were on the way to the port as we were taking the ferry to The States. I relaxed next to the window enjoying the scenery of my home one last time, ignoring my parents and allowing myself become one with the sky, the green land of my neighbor's lawns and mouthwatering smell of changua that came from my neighbors' houses. Until the neighborhood, slowly, disappeared from my view, the place all my good and bad childhood memories will always be set, my home. It was time to wave farewell.