I’m dreading returning because I know who will be at the dorm; my no good, nosy roommate. I’ve already told Tori I skipped because I wanted to, but best I think up a lie to give before returning otherwise he’ll put too many pieces together. Suppose I can be a little honest; I went to the movies, just don’t tell him who with or the real reason why.

As expected, the moment I enter the dorm room, Tori asks, “Where have you been?”

“I told you, I just wanted to skip.”

Tori’s sitting on his bed with a controller in hand. The TV’s on, his game paused so all focus can be put on interrogating my unfortunate self. Oh joy! Tori’s eyes narrow in obvious disbelief. “Mhm, why did you want to skip? Where did you even go?”

“Took a bus to the mall to see a movie.”

Tori hops out of bed. He’s beside me in less than a second, inspecting me from head to toe like the weirdo that he is.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“You sure you weren’t on a date?”

“H-Huh?”

“Your face is red.”

I press my hands to my cheeks finding that yeah, my face is still warm. Damn it all! I even waited downstairs for a bit in order to calm down. Why am I overreacting anyways? It wasn’t a date or anything. Matt and I went to the movies then got some food, that’s it! A perfectly normal thing to do among friends...which we are, I guess?

“I took the stairs up here, must have been the exercise,” I lie in what I hope to be a believable fashion, but this is Tori we’re talking about. His Spidey Senses are honestly good and by good I mean terrible because he catches on too quick for comfort.

“You definitely went on a date. Who with? What’s his name? How did you meet?” Tori is shaking me now. “Give me the deets!”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I am your loving friend that wishes to know.”

“You mean because you’re nosy and can’t stay out of other people’s business?”

“That too, but mostly because I’m your friend!”

I roll my eyes, smacking Tori’s hand away. It’s only then that I realized I basically fell into his trap. I didn’t continue to deny it wasn’t a date. Shit.

“It wasn’t a date and there are no details. You’re worse than my sister!” I rush over to my desk. There’s some assignments that need to be done. At least Tori knows not to bother me when I’m working. He backs off, for now.

If only my mind would back off too. No matter how much I attempt to work, nothing really gets done. My eyes scan over the reading material only to take in absolutely nothing. I’m left sitting here, remembering the feel of Matt’s hand in mine. His touch was warm, a little tight during our running fiasco, but comforting nevertheless. Thinking of it quickens my pulse yet again.

Stop, stop it, Dana! It doesn’t matter. You’re just acting like this because you haven’t dated in a while, or arguably at all. Not sure if my boyfriend at the age of 14 really counts seeing as the most we did was kiss and hold hands before breaking it off when he moved states. The relationship was short and sweet, certainly not a bad memory, but not exactly close to a real dating experience, for lack of a better description.

Perhaps I should look into dating?

I lean back in my chair, arms crossed in thought.

There’s apps for that nowadays, although I’m not so sure about downloading an dating app. Always feels as if others are looking for a booty call, which I haven’t the interest, experience, or confidence for. Suppose there are others like me though; honestly looking for a relationship that may last. And what better time than now? I’m in college, experiencing life on my own, nothing wrong with scoping out the dating scene...right?

I take a glance at Tori. He’s concentrating on his game, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. I think there’s even a bit of droll. It has me rolling my eyes because, I can’t believe I’m considering this, but he’s the one to ask if I want to seriously look into dating. Tori is smooth when he wants to be, even if it’s with girls he at least has some know how.

Do I really want to talk to him about this though? Ugh, I don’t think I can do it on my own though! What would I even put on my profile? Lanky redhead with social anxiety? That will definitely scare off every potential partner within a hundred mile radius!

“Tori,” I call, slightly dreading his response.

“Hmm?”

“Since we were discussing dates-”

Tori is beside me before I can even finish; eyes wide and excited. “Go on!”

Shit, this was a terrible idea, wasn’t it? Too late now!

“I was thinking maybe I should, y’know, date.”

“Well, yeah, if you want to,” he chuckles, turning serious for a moment. “So...you really weren’t on a date earlier?”

I shake my head.

“But now that dating has been brought up, you think that you want to?”

I nod.

“And you...want my assistance?” He’s grinning far too happily so I shove him aside. Tori only laughs.

“I was thinking about downloading a dating app”

“Eh, you’re likely going to get some serious perverts messaging you,” he speaks my worst fear. “But there are some actually on apps to date so I say give it a shot, if you really want to!”

“W-Will you help me create a profile?”

Tori is practically vibrating with excitement when he hollers, “Hell yeah! Gimme your phone!”

This was definitely a terrible idea.

~~~~~~

Or maybe it was a great idea because here I am, sitting in a pizza parlor with a very cute blonde. His name is Jeremiah and he’s actually a junior at the same college, going for engineering rather than english like myself. After nearly four days of failure and me close to deleting the app, Jeremiah popped up and, after two days, here we are! If he were some place far, I think I would have waited, but we’re basically still on campus so I feel ok.

I’m nervous beyond belief, struggling to speak without having to take a drink every thirty seconds. I struggle with day to day conversation so a date is even worse!

“Have you been here before?” Jeremiah asks, leaning against the table. “It’s close to campus, but since it’s on the backstreet not as many people seem to know about it.”

“I haven’t,” I stutter, wishing that I could get rid of it all together. It’s making my blush even worse.

“Their pizza is the best, but I’ll leave it at that and let you decide for yourself.”

I nod, not sure what to say to that then hate myself for not being able to continue the conversation. Should I ask about his day? Maybe talk about classes? Is that date talk? No, no, that’s, like, acquaintance talk. I guess that’s what we are, but I need to keep him interested. I need to talk about something, anything-

“Uh, do you like movies?” I ask.

Nice, Dana, way to sound like a dork.

“Eh, not a huge fan,” he replies with a shrug and, somehow, that’s super...disappointing. I thought I wasn’t that into movies, but all of a sudden I can’t imagine not loving them.

“D-Do you like to read?”

“Nah, not really into the arts at all. I like being outdoors. You?”

How the hell am I meant to say I’m the exact opposite? Do I like to read? Obviously seeing as I want to be a literary agent. I can dive into books and disappear for days on end. Do I like the outdoors? Hell no, I’m pale as a corpse for a reason. Change the subject, quick, quick!

“I can h-handle being outdoors if s-someone comes with me,” is the only response I manage to get out, which appears to please him.

“Maybe we can make plans sometime then? There’s this amazing obstacle course nearby, rock climbing, rope bridges, you name it, they got it.”

That sounds like my worst nightmare. Say no. Say no, Dana.

“C-Cool, maybe we can do that.” That’s not how you say no, you dimwit!

The pizza is brought out and Jeremiah certainly didn’t lie, the pizza is amazing. I practically inhale the first piece, laughing at Jeremiah’s eager nod that practically says, I told you so. But then we fall quiet. I suppose eating is an excuse to be quiet, but there’s usually chatter thrown in, right?

With us, there isn’t any, and it’s awkward. Awkward in the sense that I’m trying desperately to think of something else to say. What have we already talked about through text and what could we discuss now? It already appears we’re different, I knew that through text. Jeremiah was charismatic from the start, confident, even now, he’s a good looking guy that’s easily sociable. Sociable enough to already be chatting with a stranger that happened to be wearing some brand of clothing that he likes. Yet here I am, stuttering over my words and too nervous to say a damn thing.

Get it together, Dana! I promised myself college would be different. I have to try!

Any determination I managed to build though is thrown out the window when the conversation suddenly turns to, “I know why you look so familiar now!”

Jeremiah snaps his fingers, pointing almost accusingly at me when he says, “When I saw your picture, I knew I saw you somewhere. You spilled food on Matthew Jeneviere, right?”

Seriously? Will I ever escape this? That happened, like, a month ago!

“That video was hilarious,” he chuckles, either secretly a dick or totally clueless because I’m sure I’m not making a great face right now.

I avert my gaze to the floor, especially when I hear the bell of the shop ring. I don’t want anyone to see my face. They likely hear Jeremiah loud and clear. Already, I think some people are staring.

“Did you seriously pay him back? I would have said no way. The dude is loaded,” Jeremiah continues with a dismissive wave. “But that video sure blew up, and that article about him? I didn’t know that until recently, bet that pushed him off his high horse!”

He was never on a high horse. He just wants to be left alone, isn’t that obvious? But once more, I’m tight lipped. There’s so much I want to say yet my mouth won’t listen.

“Oh, but if you’re in contact with him, hey, do you think you can get me his autograph?”

“What?” I finally hiss, glaring at Jeremiah’s shocked expression across the table. “Why...why would you ask that?”

“Ah, my bad, this isn’t really something to be talking about on a date, huh?”

“Definitely not, but even then, you were just insulting him.”

“Isn’t it kind of cool though? Getting a celebrities signature.”

“No, he’s a person, stop treating him like an object.”

“Whoa, I’m just teasing, D-” Jeremiah stops short as he, and I, face the person suddenly standing at our table. The person I wish didn’t hear any of that, yet here he is, peering down at us with his signature resting bitch face.

“Matt,” I mumble, feeling a sudden twinge of guilt, and I honestly can’t admit what for. Somehow I feel guilty for going on a date with Jeremiah and him overhearing this conversation. Figures he would come here though, like Jeremiah said, it’s on a back street. Like I said, it’s remote.

“Do you still want my autograph?” Matt asks. I’m surprised Jeremiah shakes his head no. “You sure? Bet you could sell it online. It won’t make you loaded like me, but it’s a start.”

Jeremiah goes red in the face. I worry there’s about to be a physical fight so I stand up fast. With my hand on Matt’s arm, I start pushing him towards the door.

“Sorry, Jeremiah, I t-think we s-should go,” I say, guiding Matt to the door. He doesn’t take his glare off Jeremiah though, not even when we’re outside. He just glares through the windows while Jeremiah pokes at the leftover pizza.

I don’t know where I’m going until I spot Matt’s car parked on the street. Sure, he was likely going in there to get food, but I doubt he wants to go back in now. He is surprisingly docile and easy to walk across the street, my fingers still twisted into his shirt. Then we stop and I let out a long sigh, ready to apologize on my knees if I have to but, for some reason, Matt beats me to it.

“Sorry,” he says, which confuses the hell out of me.

“For?”

“What happened.”

“You didn’t do anything?”

“But I did,” he says, and although his face doesn’t show a damn thing, his tone of voice trembles. “You are associated with Matthew Jeneviere, no one will ever let you forget that.”

Matt swings open his car door. “And sorry for interrupting your date.”

Date, he practically hissed that, or maybe I’m hearing things. I’m hoping I am, I think.

“I’ll give you some though,” he says.

“W-What?” I ask, still in shock by his words, trying to come up with a response, but he won’t give me the time.

“My autograph, in case someone else asks.” With that, he slides into his car, slams the door and peels out onto the street.

I have no idea what just happened or how the hell I’m meant to react.