Arms wrapped around him from behind, holding Kaide tight. Trace wasn’t much taller than Kaide, only by a few inches, but that didn’t stop Kaide from feeling small in the other’s grip. The kitchen was hot, almost hotter than outside, after a long day of the ovens running. Trace’s breath was even warmer on the back of his neck, and he smelled like flour and spices. Kaide could feel his chest rise and fall with a breath. Kaide slowly lifted his hands to rest over Trace’s arms, feeling the warmth of his skin.

“I’m proud of you,” Trace said quietly. Kaide felt tears welling up in his eyes despite himself. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been, coming to those conclusions on your own. To be left alone in this world and still decide it’s worth loving. I… I wish I could be as strong as you, man. I look around and it’s all so fucking… Hopeless.”

Kaide gripped Trace’s arms tighter for a moment before pushing them away, if only to have the freedom to turn around and hug Trace tightly, face buried against the other man’s chest. He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that were threatening to spill out, and tried his best to block out the sound of his own voice as it wavered and cracked.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Kaide.” Trace’s arms fell around him again, comforting and stable.

---

Kaide waited outside while Trace finished locking up. He picked maple seeds off the concrete where they drifted against the sidewalk ridge, splitting them open and pulling out each individual seed. It felt good to feel the dried leaves crackle under his fingertips, and the seeds gleamed in the sunlight, promising life in little veins. He looked up as a car passed by, playing a beat-heavy song through open windows, unidentifiable. He turned when he heard the jingle of keys, Trace setting the final locks and stepping back from the bakery. Kaide got up, scooping the planner up under his arm and walking over to his old friend.

“Thanks for walking me home,” Kaide said quietly, and Trace simply nodded, leading the way down the street.

“Eh, I wanted to check in on where Wren’s been staying, anyhow. He’s been living on his own ever since his dad moved out of town, right?”

“Yeah. He helps Wren pay for rent, and covered the costs for the bakery. He’s a nice man, even if he still calls Wren Vya.”

Trace grimaced, a breath hissing through his teeth. He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I understand wanting the best for your kid, but I wish Wren got the support he actually needed from his own father. Money can’t fix family.”

“Don’t we know it,” Kaide said through a grin. Trace gave a grim laugh. “Does your mom still think you’re dead?”

“Fuck if I know. As far as I can tell, she hasn’t even gone looking.”

“I’m sorry, man.”

“Eh, she never gave a fuck about me in the first place, why should I give her one now? What about you?”

“Nah… Wren picked me up when I got out. I haven’t heard from my parents for years.”

Trace grunted at that, eyes scanning the patterns of shadows made by the leaves up ahead. Then he reached out, patting Kaide gently on the back and pulling him into his side for a brief hug.

“Fuck em, man. You’ve got good friends and a good head on your shoulders. Family ain’t shit.”

Kaide smiled a little, eyes trained on the pavement underfoot. He walked in silence at Trace’s side for a while more, before he stopped and turned, nodding Trace down a side street. Here, the trees formed an almost perfect tunnel overhead, with only glimpses of blue reminding them that the sky existed. Chipmunks and squirrels darted over the cracked asphalt, and weeds strained to further the divide. Houses sat behind defensive lines of trees and bushes, peering out at the pair from their haven of shade. Green lawns stretched before them, eagerly awaiting the next rainfall. Such was the fashion until they reached what had to be Wren and Kaide’s house.

Kaide had more or less demolished the yard, tearing up years of carefully cultivated grass and exchanging it for bountiful rows of vegetables. What Kaide hadn’t used for gardening had been left to grow wild, and now sang with a chorus of insects and finches. Trace whistled lowly, leaning back so his hips jutted a hard line over his skinny jeans.

“Damn. You did all this?”

“Yeah! These are my peas- coming in strong, right? And my radishes over here- they’re just row markers for my carrots, cause those take a while to come in..” Kaide leapt and bound around the rolling rows of garden delights, pointing out tiny seedlings making their way bravely into the world. “But, the hose had a really powerful spray when I planted them so I’m kind of worried I washed them all away… Over here is my kale! I don’t know what it looks like when it sprouts yet, so I’m kind of… Just letting everything grow until I get results?”

Trace stood back and let Kaide walk him through the tour, bending over at points to inspect Kaide’s prodigy children. A face peeked out behind the screen door, curious and sleepy, and eventually retreated with a thankful smile. Trace paused at the edge of one of the rows- marked off with a broken stick shoved crookedly into the ground- and looked at the tiny sprigs of life pushing up from the ground. He reached out to brush his fingers over the tiny leaves, still moist from the midafternoon watering, and his gaze softened.

“..even when it’s hot as balls out, shit still grows, huh?” Trace asked, voice wistful.

“Course it does. You and plants must be related, liking hot ba-”

Kaide screeched as Trace hurled a clump of wet dirt at him, barely dodging the blow. He ran away a few paces, looking back over his shoulder, but Trace didn’t give chase. Kaide broke into laughter, and Trace matched it with a grin.

“You’re nasty, Kaide. I’m heading back to Nessa’s before it gets too late and she starts worrying about me.”

Kaide blinked, and hurried over, wanting to say goodbye to Trace before he disappeared. “Tell Nessa I said hi, please? And that I miss her and she can come over anytime she wants because I say so and Wren will just have to suck it up.”

Trace laughed, pulling Kaide into another hug. “Yeah, I will, bud. Thanks for showing me your garden. See you around.”

---

Kaide laid awake on the couch that night, one arm pillowing his head, the other laying over his stomach, and stared up at the ceiling fan. His curls waved in the gentle current, though the moving air did little to cool him off. He could still feel the warmth of Trace’s embrace hours later, and it granted him no sleep. Back to back, the images of Trace’s fearful, aggressive face and kind hearted, easy going smile played in his head, waging a war like no other. The positive and negative clashed and threw sparks against his skull, snapped his back ram-rod straight with unwarranted anxiety. Kaide pressed his hands to his face, exhaling quietly through his nose, and whimpering.

What would he do if Trace left again? What would he do if this was just a big mistake? Hadn’t he made enough mistakes for a lifetime?

Kaide rolled over, facing the back of the couch, and sent his mind to thoughts of Molly, his girlfriend. Her knife-sharp grin, eyes rolling under heavy eyeliner; combat boots; fishnets. Her little fingers, and how her hand fit so neatly in his. Finally finding some modicum of rest in her perfume, Kaide drifted off to sleep. As his grip on his conscious mind weakened and let go, a warmth washed over him again, in the memory of arms wrapped tight around his chest, holding him through the night.