The man was as dead or as alive as he had been when Evan fell asleep. From what he remembered, the man didn’t seem to have moved at all. The only difference was that he once again was silent.
Evan decided that he had just taken it off before lying down, only to return to the cleaning he hadn’t finished yesterday. The rugs was still lying in weird folds all over the place, with the water not being dry yet. But why wasn’t the water dry yet? Evan was sure he had at least dried up the water before he went to bed. Or was this what he was supposed to do when he was interrupted by the mans endless asking of ‘why’?
But he never forgot to dry anything up…
Shaking his head, trying to get it into gear, Evan decided to blame his lack of sleep the night before, and that things like that wouldn’t happen now that he had a good night’s rest.
As if to not have a repeat of the day before, Evan dragged the man out into the bathroom, and positioned him to sit on the toilet. Here he helped the man relieve his bladder, after which he got him into the bath and thoroughly washed him. He then brought him into the cleaned couch and started to clean the bed.
“Coffee?” Evan asked, not waiting for an answer before he went out into the kitchen. Even though the man had said something, it wasn’t enough for Evan to change his expectations of his conversation partner, only to see himself wait around for silence.
The morning went on much like the evening had. Evan would talk, complain, comment and go around swinging a duster or a cloth once in a while, if he saw something that shouldn’t be there.
The man, as well, was much like he had been most of the time. The speckle of life that had moved in him had died out from the lack of desire, as well as the question ‘why’ now seeming more like a curse that would haunt him, than a blessing that could free him.
After a bit, Evan started feeding the man with toast, chewing it himself, then giving it to the man in a kissing motion, showing it over with his tongue. He couldn’t have the man dying, and this was the best way Evan could think of.
When Evan went out, he put the man on the toilet with his pants down as well as a glass of water and some toast. He then locked the toilet door from the outside, as well as the next.
The man sat alone in the darkness, as Evan had forgotten to turn on the lights. There were no windows. This man wasn’t able to look for dust or insects. But in the darkness, the man felt awake. Alive. He screamed out as loud as he could.
What a dreadful feeling! How horrible it was! He couldn’t stand it! He didn’t want to! Why! WHY WHY WHY WHY!
Why was he still alive? He asked this to himself as he was able to feel his body. He didn’t want to feel it. He didn’t want to feel. He didn’t want to anything.
How could the complete lack of light do this to him? A yearning for the darkness was what he lived for, but getting it was something he couldn’t bear.
Where was the gust of wind that took the ashes of his child?
Where was the gust of wind that took the last piece of his sanity?
He couldn’t find it. He couldn’t see it. But looking for it made everything barely bearable.
The man continued to scream as if his lungs was as large as an air balloon. His voice emitted from the entire apartment, but though countless people yelled from up, below and outside the entrance door, he screamed. As if screaming was the only language he had ever known.
After hours where the man had screamed, it had become reduced to a soundless ghost of a former scream. The noise had moved inside of his own mind, screaming as if there was no tomorrow. He didn’t notice when Evan came home. He didn’t notice that he got taken into the light. He didn’t notice when he once again got force-fed with a tongue down his throat.
He didn’t notice Evan talking. He didn’t notice how Evan complained about the same friend once again. He didn’t see the specks of dust or the insects Evan killed during his one-sided conversation.
The man’s mind was imprisoned by the screams he had made and heard during his life.
Meanwhile, Evan had a bad day. Though he had originally thought it would be a good one, his mind had played tricks on him the entire day. He had seen insects out of the corner of his eye every second of every minute. He hadn’t seen things that was right in front of him. People had started to look like they cared less and less about personal hygiene, and his friend, whom he was supposed to get an apology from, had once again told Evan to shut up and just left.
The only thing Evan liked about this day, was coming home and complaining about it, without worrying much about being talked back to. He could do this all the while he could set the standard for cleanliness as well as other things.
Evan felt himself immensely starting to enjoy this peculiar person. Or should he rather see him as a cat? Though cats could at least wash and relieve themselves…
However, Evan found himself wondering a bit… He was actually quite surprised he hadn’t wondered this before, but it seemed like, ever since he had met this man, things had started to turn out strange. Before he blamed his lack of sleep, but as it continued today, he couldn’t help but to reevaluate. Who exactly was this man? Or what was he?
From what Evan had noticed, the man seemed to be quite taken with light and insects. In fact, he had often spotted insects before Evan had, just within these two days. Evan had been looking more and more at what the man was looking at, in order to kill them as quickly as possible.
Did the man… Like insects? Was he taken by them? How could he be so… Unsanitary? Evan wondered. But as long as the man was under Evan’s care it didn’t matter much. It was just still a bothering thought that kept growing bigger in the back of his mind. Like there was something there. Actually growing.
Had a speck of dirt attached itself to his brain? Now that was just ridiculous. Evan knew better. But… There was dirt inside his chairs. So was it really that farfetched of a theory, that there might be dirt inside of a person?
He hadn’t entertained the same thought yesterday, but today was different. It kept gnawing at him. Every time he saw an insect. Every time he looked at his guest and his blank stare. It hadn’t looked much at insects since he got home, he noticed.
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