When I opened my eyes, Cheng's sleeping face was right beside mine.

Too close.

For a moment, I didn't move. Without his usual smirk, he looked almost peaceful. His dark hair fell over his forehead, his breathing slow and even.

Then I noticed the IV attached to my arm.

When did that happen?

I reached for it.

“Good morning.”

I froze.

Cheng opened one eye. “Did you sleep well?”

I pulled my hand away from the IV as if I hadn't been about to remove it.

“Yeah. And… thank you. For taking care of me.”

He sat up, stretched, then looked pointedly at my arm. “You were trying to pull it out.”

“I was looking at it.”

“With your fingers?”

I ignored him.

Smiling, Cheng pointed at the tube. “Xiao Luo left the line in. Can I?”

I nodded.

He carefully disconnected it without removing the cannula.

“I tried waking you to give you something for the fever, but you wouldn't respond,” he said, his smile fading. “Did you feel anything when Xiao Luo came back and treated your wound?”

I searched my memory.

Nothing.

I shook my head.

“I need to go.”

“Go where?”

“Back to the hostel.” I moved towards the edge of the bed.

Cheng sighed. “You always want to run away from me.”

“I'm not running.”

“You've been awake for two minutes.”

“I have things to do.”

Instead of stopping me, he sat beside me, leaving a little space between us. “I don't need to know about your past, Chin Mae.”

My body stiffened.

“I can tell there are things you don't want to talk about. Fine. You don't owe me an explanation.” His voice softened. “I just want to know you. The person who's here now.”

I looked down at my hands.

“I want to hang out with you, annoy you, make you eat my terrible cooking—”

“Your eggs were terrible.”

“Exactly. I want to be your friend.”

Friend.

Such a simple word shouldn't have felt so dangerous.

“I won't hurt you,” he continued. “And I won't force you to tell me anything. If one day you want to talk, I'll listen.”

He paused. “But stop deciding I'm going to hurt you before I actually do something wrong.”

I looked at him.

For once, there was no teasing in his expression.

Maybe…

Maybe I could trust him a little.

Not completely. Not yet.

But a little.

Cheng stood and offered his hand. “Now go shower.”

I stared at him.

“I couldn't exactly clean you properly while you were unconscious.”

My face caught fire. “What?!”

He burst out laughing. “Your expression!”

“Shut up!” I headed for the bathroom before he could make it worse.

“Need a hand?” he called.

“No.”

“Sure?”

“Cheng.”

“Okay, okay!”

I closed the door on his laughter. And, embarrassingly, I was smiling too.

“Don't wet your wound!” he shouted through the door. “And go back to bed when you're done!”

For once, happiness didn't feel impossible.

The shower exhausted me.

I kept the dressing dry, washed quickly and changed into the clothes Cheng had left folded for me.

I intended to return to bed.

Then something crashed in the kitchen.

“Cheng?”

No answer.

I reached the bedroom doorway, leaned out—

and lost my balance.

My forehead smacked against the frame.

“Fuck.”

Footsteps rushed towards me. “I told you to go to bed!” Cheng appeared holding a wooden spoon.

I would've laughed if my head hadn't been throbbing.

He stopped in front of me, clearly resisting the urge to grab me.

“What happened?”

“I lost my balance.”

“Exactly why I told you to stay in bed.”

I glanced towards the kitchen.

Then, before I could reconsider it, I asked, “Can I stay here with you?”

The words hung between us.

Why did I say it like that?

I sounded needy.

Cheng bit his lower lip and looked away, obviously suppressing a smile. “Sit.”

He pulled out a chair and placed a bowl in front of me with absurd pride. “Look what I made.”

I peered inside.

“Miso soup?”

“Yes.”

“You made this?”

His expression fell. “Why does everyone sound surprised when I cook?”

I remembered the eggs.

“Eat.”

I picked up the spoon, then hesitated.

For days, almost everything I'd eaten had come back up...but Cheng was watching me expectantly.

I took a cautious sip of broth.

My stomach tightened, then settled. Relief loosened my shoulders. “It's good.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“I knew it.”

“Don't get arrogant.” I managed a few more spoonfuls, but the seaweed was another story.

When Cheng went to shower, I carried the bowl to the kitchen and stared guiltily at what remained.

“Sorry.” I emptied the toppings into the bin and covered them with kitchen paper.

I'll eat properly later.

Cheng returned wearing only grey sweatpants, a T-shirt thrown over one shoulder as he dried his hair.

I looked up. Then immediately down. Apparently the floor was fascinating.

“And Xiao Luo is coming back tonight,” Cheng said.

“Okay.”

A quiet chuckle.

I made the mistake of looking again.

Water still glistened along his shoulders and collarbone. My eyes caught on the little details people normally covered—moles, lines, the shape of his body—

I looked away.

“Enjoying the floor?”

“Very much.”

He laughed and reached towards my hair.

I swatted his hand away. “Don't.”

He raised both hands in surrender.

I smiled despite myself. “Thank you.”

His expression softened. “For what?”

“For everything.” There was more I wanted to say. I just didn't know how.

How did you thank someone for making you feel safe when you'd almost forgotten what safety felt like?

“I really mean it.”

Cheng studied me for a moment. “I know.”

The simple answer made my chest ache.

“Let's watch something,” he said.

I nodded, grateful he hadn't made me explain.

Before the movie, I borrowed his laptop to apply for more jobs.

“I’m ready!” Cheng burst into the bedroom.

I jumped. “Do you always enter rooms like that?”

“Yes.” He dropped onto the bed and handed me a bowl of popcorn.

The smell surprised me.

Butter. Salt. Warm corn.

My mouth watered.

So this smells good, but coffee makes me sick.

My body had apparently invented rules without telling me.

Cheng opened Netflix. “Do you like magic?”

Merlin appeared on the screen.

I'd already seen it, but I smiled. “I like magic.”

He placed the laptop in front of us and switched off the main light.

When he settled beside me, our shoulders almost touched.

I became painfully aware of the tiny distance.

Soon, though, the screen pulled me somewhere else.

For a while, I wasn't sick.

I wasn't running.

I was simply watching someone else's story.

“Hey…”

My eyes snapped open.

My cheek was pressed against something warm.

Cheng.

Worse, both my arms were wrapped around one of his.

I released him immediately. “I'm sorry!”

Cheng started laughing. “I wanted to wake you, but you looked comfortable.”

“Oh my God.”

“You were hugging me like this.” He wrapped his arms around himself dramatically.

“Stop.”

“It was cute.”

“Stop talking.”

He casually ate another piece of popcorn. “I might have to start charging you.”

“For what?”

“My services. Nurse, chef, chauffeur and now secretary.”

“Secretary?” I followed his gaze and spotted my phone on the other side of the bed, beside his leg and leaned across him to reach for it.

Cheng suddenly went still.

I stopped halfway, one hand pressed into the mattress for balance. “What?”

“Nothing.” His answer came far too quickly.

I narrowed my eyes. “Cheng.”

“Someone called while you were asleep.”

My stomach tightened.

“Who?”

Cheng let the silence stretch for another second before the corner of his mouth betrayed him.

“A pub.”

I stared at him. “They want you to come in for a trial shift this Saturday.”

For a moment, I didn't react.

The words seemed to reach me one at a time.

A trial shift.

This Saturday.

“Wait.” I pushed myself upright. “They actually called for me?”

Cheng's smile finally broke free. “Unless there's another Chin Mae handing out CVs all over the city with my phone number saved in his contacts, yes.”

“Cheng, I'm serious.”

“So am I.” He handed me the phone. “They want to see how you work. Saturday.”

I looked down at the screen even though there was nothing there that could make it more real.

A laugh escaped me.

Small and breathless at first.

Then I couldn't stop smiling.

After days of feeling as though everything was slipping further out of my control, something had finally gone right.

A chance meant I could do something.

I could fix this myself.

“You answered my phone?” I asked, finally looking at him.

“You were asleep.”

I should've been annoyed. Instead, I wanted to hug him again. I wisely resisted.

“I'll make more soup,” Cheng said. “And if you're not better by Saturday, you're not going anywhere.”

“As you want.” I started gathering stray popcorn from the bed.

“Will Xiao Luo give me another IV tonight?”

Cheng's shoulders tightened. “I don't know. Why?”

“I still feel like I'm burning - I mean, it feels like my body hurts more than before, I'm nauseous, and I can't catch my breath.”

Concern darkened his face.

I immediately regretted telling him.

Great. More problems for him to deal with.

Cheng tapped two fingers against the blanket beside my hand.

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Whatever horrible thing you're telling yourself.”

I blinked. “How did you—”

“Your face.” He gave me a tired smile. “I'll ask Xiao Luo. Maybe you're reacting to something in the IV.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Rest.”

This time, I listened.

Cheng left, and silence settled over the bedroom for a while.

Then—

“Hrrk.”

My eyes opened.

Nothing.

Hallucination.

I closed them again.

“Hrrk—agh!”

I sat upright. That wasn't in my head. “Cheng?”

No answer.

I stood, ignoring the weakness in my legs, and made my way towards the living room.

Then I stopped.

Xiao Luo was pinned against the wall.

His glasses were gone. Blood ran from his split lip and a cut near his eyebrow. Both hands gripped Cheng's wrist.

Because Cheng's hand was around his throat.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Neither moved.

Cheng's expression was colder than I'd ever seen it. “Cheng.”

His grip tightened. Xiao Luo made a strangled sound.

“You're killing him!” I crossed the room and wrapped both arms around Cheng from behind, locking my hands over his abdomen. “Release him.”

Nothing.

“Cheng, please.” Violence made my stomach twist. Too many memories lived inside sounds like these.

I pressed my forehead against his back. “Please.”

Slowly, the tension beneath my arms eased. Cheng released him.

Xiao Luo dropped against the wall, coughing desperately.

Cheng's hand covered mine. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Then I smelled it.

Metal.

I looked down. Blood covered Cheng's knuckles. And now my hands.

Red. Warm.

My entire body froze.

My mouth filled with saliva.

No.

I stepped backwards.

“Chin Mae?”

The metallic scent followed me.

It wasn't disgusting.

That was the worst part.

It smelled good.

My stomach contracted violently.

Cheng caught me when my legs gave way and hurried me back to the bedroom.

Everywhere his hands touched felt like fire.

He lowered me onto the bed.

Xiao Luo appeared behind him, blood still glistened on his mouth.

My eyes locked onto it. Everything else blurred.

There was only red.

Burning erupted inside my stomach. I screamed.

It climbed through my chest, my throat, my mouth.

My back arched and my fingers clawed into the sheets.

“What's happening?!” Cheng shouted.

My muscles contracted uncontrollably. Then Cheng leaned over me. His neck came close.

That scent. Warm skin. A pulse beneath it.

My hand shot behind his neck and pulled him down.

A sound escaped me. Not pain.

Pleasure.

His throat was inches from my mouth.

I wanted—

“Move!” Xiao Luo shoved Cheng away.

I snarled. Actually snarled.

Pain pierced my gums and I screamed.

Then I saw Xiao Luo's bleeding lip. I reached for him but he jumped backwards before I grabbed him.

Nothing mattered except the blood.

You could have that blood and much more if you wanted.

I froze.

The voice whispered beside my ear.

Go for the neck.

My breath caught.

No.

I knew that voice.

Or thought I did.

Suddenly Cheng was above me again, blocking me from lunging at Xiao Luo. He caught my wrists and used his body to keep me on the mattress.

Normally, panic would've consumed me. Now I barely noticed.

“Let me go!”

“Chin Mae!”

“I want him!” The words came out in a voice I barely recognised.

Xiao Luo stared at me. Then his face drained of colour. “His eyes—”

“Chin Mae!” Cheng moved into my field of vision.

“Look at me.”

I couldn't.

My attention kept snapping towards Xiao Luo. Towards blood.

Then Cheng bit his own lower lip. Hard.

A bead of red appeared.

Everything inside me stopped. I stared.

Cheng ran his tongue over the cut and the scent reached me instantly.

Sweet. Metallic. Warm.

My mouth watered painfully.

What is happening to me?

My body no longer felt like mine.

Images flashed through my head.

Blood. Skin. Teeth.

For one horrifying second, I wanted to tear them apart.

Not because I hated them but because I wanted what was inside them.

“You can trust me.” Cheng's voice cut through the noise.

I looked at him. His lip was still bleeding.

I lifted my head painfully.

My tongue caught the drop before I understood what I was doing.

Warmth exploded across my tongue.

Sweet. Metallic. Perfect.

Cheng jerked backwards, eyes widening.

I fell against the mattress and licked my lips.

The burning eased.

Only a little. But enough.

Slowly, Cheng released one of my wrists and placed his palm against my cheek.

I leaned into it instinctively.

“H-hurts…”

“I know.”

Something moved behind him and my eyes snapped towards it. “Shh. Look at me.” Cheng blocked my view.

Another drop appeared on his lip and he collected it with his thumb.

For a moment, something unreadable crossed his face, then he touched his thumb to my parted lips.

I tasted blood again.

My eyes closed. “Cheng…”

Something pierced the side of my neck. Coldness entered my veins.

Xiao Luo. A needle.

I tried to move, but the room was already slipping away.

Cheng's face blurred, then everything disappeared - 

I hit the ground hard - grey pavement scraped beneath my palms.

Pain tore through my stomach, then I vomited.

Red splattered across the floor.

Blood. Again. Again. When it finally stopped, I lifted my head.

I wasn't in Cheng's apartment. In that place there were no windows, no furniture... only grey walls and a single white light burning and buzzing above me.

Then someone stood beneath it and my breathing stopped.

I knew that silhouette.

My body recognised it before my mind allowed me to.

“Y-you…?” That familiar amused smile appeared.

Impossible.

I pushed myself backwards.

How could he be here?

A nightmare.

The fever. The drugs. Anything.

“It's not the right time, my boy.” His voice echoed through the room.

“What are you doing here?”

He approached. I tried to stand, but my legs failed.

“You shouldn't be here yet.”

“Where am I?”

His smile widened.

“What did you do to me?”

He laughed softly, then his hand shot out. Cold fingers wrapped around my throat.

My entire body locked.

“Forget what happened here.”

His grip tightened.

I clawed at his wrist.

No air. No strength.

His face moved closer.

“You need to suffer a little more.”

He shoved me backwards and suddenly the floor vanished.

I fell, painfully. Grey disappeared into black.

The light shrank above me until darkness swallowed it too.

Cold wrapped around my body and I waited to wake up.

For something familiar.

Someone familiar.

Only one name came.

“Cheng…”

Then I stopped fighting and let the darkness take me.