Cheng's sleeping face was right next to me and way, way too close. I backed quietly but was blocked by the IV that was attached to my arm, which made it feel heavy. "Good morning." I heard a muffled and hoarse voice behind me. "Did you sleep well?" Cheng asked as he sat and stretched out a bit.

I swiftly removed my hand from the needle that I was trying to take out. "Yeah, thank you so much," I answered and curiously watched him as he crawled toward me. Cheng closed the valve on the patch and removed the small tube attached to it.

"I'm glad you feel better. I tried to wake you up to take the pills for your fever, but you wouldn't respond. Did you feel something when Xiao Luo was treating your wound?" a warm smile rose on his lips, and he inhaled deeply, turning serious.

I shook my head. "I need to go; thank you for taking care of me," I added as I stretched my numb legs.

"You always want to run away from me, mhm?" Cheng wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned toward me like he was about to share a secret. "Listen carefully, okay?"

"I don't need to know about your past, especially because it seems to bother you. I just want to be with you now." Cheng's lips gradually moved up as he was probably watching my eyes getting watery. "I just want to hang out with you, having fun… you know, being friends." he pinched my cheek, and I smiled back, blushing.

"I'm not going to hurt you nor break your trust. I will just be here if you want to talk about it... so stop pushing me away." standing up, Cheng extended one harm in front of me with his palm open. "Go and have a shower now; I couldn't clean you properly."

"W-what?!" I mumbled, embarrassed, probably turning red like a tomato while he burst into a laugh.

"Do you need a hand?" he maliciously asked before I entered the bathroom, leaning cross-armed against the door jamb. I chuckled before closing the door behind me, smiling.

Maybe... Maybe I could stop pushing him away; perhaps he was someone I could trust and count on...

"Don't wet your graze, and go lay down once you finish!" he shouted from the other side of the door. I shook my head, grinning widely, feeling glowing from the inside after a long time of darkness.

After I showered, I got out of the bathroom and dressed up in some warm and soft clothes that were ready for me to wear just on the side of the bed I was lying earlier, but as I was to disappear on those comfortable bedsheets again, I heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen. Curious, I peeked from the bedroom door, but of course, something had to go wrong: I lost my balance and facepalmed myself against the door jamb. The hit echoed in the whole house, and I grasped my temple and bit my tongue to contain a lament.

"I told you to go to bed!" Cheng hurried over to me and grabbed my arms forcibly. I should have just done what he said. Now he will think that I was a nuisance.

"I'm okay… Let me stay here with you...?" I asked, realising only how it came out needy. Since when was I relying on others this much?!

Cheng bit his lower lip and turned his face to the opposite side for a second, then nodded and invited me to sit down at the table. "Look what I made," he stated as he placed a bowl of brownish liquid in front of me, smiling ear to ear.

I looked at the miso soup with too many seaweeds and gathered some courage as I took the first sip, avoiding the added toppings. I was afraid to throw up right in front of him, and this was one of the few best mornings I had so far; I didn't want to spoil it. "It's delicious, thank you."

"Well, I'm going to shower then," he announced, satisfied, before disappearing from the room, leaving me alone. I stood up, guilty, and threw the toppings left in my bowl in the bin under the sink, covering them with kitchen paper. I felt sorry, but… I just needed some more time; I would eat once I returned to the hostel.

"It's still early, but do you want to have lunch now or watch a movie?" Cheng suggested as he entered the room after a few minutes. "Oh, and Xiao Luo will visit tonight," he added, dabbing his damp hair with a small towel. It took me a mere second to realise that he was dressed up only in some sweatpants; his t-shirt lay on his shoulder.

I sat down on the chair and stared at the floor that suddenly had a fascinating shade of white. The sight of people's naked bodies was something that had always bothered me. Not because I disliked it but because I found it too fascinating to look away. Every inch of their skin, moles or birthmarks and all the 'imperfections' recluded, as society calls them, drew me to the point that I would lose the sense of time as I watched them.

Cheng chuckled as he got closer to ruffle my hair, but I shooed it away, smiling as well with relief that I didn't make him feel uncomfortable.

"Thank you so much for what you are doing. I..." I wished I could say more, but I was not good with words and expressing myself. I just hoped I made him understand how grateful I was, even though I didn't deserve it. He was just an amazing human being, and for that, I felt special.

Cheng lifted my chin with a finger, and the cutest smile I'd ever seen was painted on his soft lips. "Let's watch a movie," he grabbed my wrist and led me to his bedroom without adding anything else. A strange excitement rose from my stomach. 

Was it normal to feel this happy for something like.. this?

Cheng grabbed his laptop and put it at the far end of the bed. "Can I borrow it for a second? I want to apply to some other job offers online." I asked as I sat next to it. As he nodded, I immediately transferred my curriculum to his laptop and did a quick job search, relieved to find many more available opportunities online.

"I'm ready!" Cheng announced, bursting into the room and sitting explosively next to me, laying his back on the headboard. I got up and followed his example. "What do you want to watch?" I put the laptop on his lap and grabbed the popcorn bowl he handed me. The smell was so appetising...

"Don't know, let's see what's new on Netfl*x." as he logged into his account, he munched on some popcorn, letting the crunching and satisfying sound make my mouth water.

He pointed at the screen, "I heard it's good. Do you like magic?" I only smiled as I had already watched Merlin, but I would never get tired of it. Cheng crawled forward and placed his laptop on a pillow in front of us, letting the first episode play, turned off the light and got back in the same position. Our shoulders almost touched.

I flinched and passed back the bowl, creating some distance and resting my sore arms on my itchy abdomen. I pressed my head on the headboard and looked at the bright screen before us, soon immersing myself in another world. A world where I was finally only part of the audience.

"Hey…"

I opened my eyes, startled; my heartbeat jumped right up and beat fast against my rib cage. As my senses got back, I realised that I was using Cheng as my pillow; my head lay on his shoulder while hugging his arm.

"I-I'm so sorry!" I pushed myself back, hurriedly interrupting the body contact. Oh, I so wanted just to disappear.

"I wanted to wake you up, but you were so cute," he admitted miming a person hugging a stuffed animal. I facepalmed internally, turning completely red. "Anyway, I may need to start charging you for my services. I've even worked as a secretary while you were on your beauty sleep." Cheng smirked as he threw popcorn in his mouth.

"What happened?" I asked as his body stiffened when I bent over him to grab my phone that was beside him on the night table.

"Hem... W-well, you have a trial shift this Saturday in a pub," he mumbled, gulping down, and I sighed, relieved, smiling up until my eyes. "I'll make some soup. If you don't get better, I'm not letting you go." he threatened me and turned on the warm light on the night table while standing up.

"As you want." I collected some popcorn from the bedsheet but stopped, thinking, "Will the doctor give me another IV?"

"I don't know… Why?" Cheng took a few steps back, his face somehow darkened, and his muscles twitched uncomfortably.

"I constantly feel like I'm burning up, and my body aches more than usual. I'm nauseous and out of breath-" I explained, flustered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I shouldn't have said anything, he asked his family doctor to look after me, and I'm complaining about it. 

I'm ungrateful... I'm really the worst.

Cheng laid a hand over my head, caressing it gently, stopping whatever negative stuff I was thinking about. "I'll ask. Maybe you are allergic to something inside it..." I nodded and covered myself under the blanket as Cheng disappeared into the other room, turning everything so silent that I could hear my weary breath.

"Hrrk." 

I heard a short ugly gasp. I froze, trying to understand if it was only a hallucination, as usual.

 "Hrrk, agh!"

"Cheng?" I called him out, dazed and stood up, ignoring how my legs felt like giving up. My body shook slightly from the tension as I walked into the living room. "Cheng?" I held my breath, shocked when I saw Xiao Luo pressed against the wall; his face turned red and covered in pure terror. His bottom lip and left eyebrow were broken, blood was dripping down from his face, and his hands were around Cheng's wrist as he was choking him.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, but Cheng tightened the grip, tensing his jaw. I gathered some courage and moved toward him "Y-you killing him!" I shouted as my stomach burst into flames. Grinding my teeth, I grabbed Cheng from behind, hoping to pull him away.

"Release him, Cheng…." I begged, hugging him tightly. Witnessing violence made me feel sick to the stomach; I couldn't stand it. Cheng took his time, but I finally felt his body relaxing, releasing the tension bit for a bit. The doctor slid against the wall, huffing heavily.

"Sorry," he whispered as he brushed my hands that were clenching on his abdomen with his, but the room started to spin. His grip on me vanished, and my body was pulled in every direction. I stepped back as an awful metallic smell came up my nose: blood covered Cheng's knuckles and now my hands too-

"Hey,-" he rushed to his bedroom and laid me back onto his bed. His hands were piercing into my skin, lacerating it at every touch. I could barely see his outline, but the strong bloody smell intensified when the doctor entered the picture. I squeezed my eyes enough to see again, finding myself glad that the blood from his lip hadn't stopped. I screamed in pain, clenching my hands and arching my body at the strange burning sensation eroding my stomach up to my throat.

"What's happening?!" Cheng shouted as he crawled on me when I started to have convulsions. 

Something was eating me alive from the inside!

I shot my gaze up and grabbed Cheng by his nape, pushing him on me. I moaned from pleasure when he fell, excited to see his damp and sweet-scented neck so close to my lips. "Move away!" Xiao Luo shouted, pushing him aside.

A sharp pain pierced my mouth. I screamed with all my might, an excruciating cry that removed all the air from my lungs. Panting heavily, I swiftly turned to grab Xiao Luo, but he moved away in time. The blood seemed to be the only thing my mind focused on. Nothing else mattered: not Cheng's body pressed on top of me- that in another situation would make me enormously embarrassed; and neither his hands that were running all over me just to try to calm me down.

"You could have that blood and much more if you want. Go for the neck." Someone whispered in my ear.

Xiao Luo shouted at Cheng, and in a blink of an eye, he pressed down his groin on mine, clenched his thighs around my hips and pushed my wrists down on the bed. I yelled angrily, looking at the doctor; I just wanted to take him-!

"His eyes-!" Xiao Luo roared in terror.

"Chin Mae!" Cheng interrupted him and moved his face closer to mine, our breaths connected for how close he got. He bit his lower lip until it bled, getting my full attention. He licked away the blood with his tongue, and a pleasant sweet metallic smell reached my nostrils. I looked at him hungrily.

What was happening? 

Why was I feeling like my body was moving on its own, detached physically and mentally?

Why did I want to hurt them both, crush them with my bare hands, remove their every limb and swim in their blood?

Why did I hear voices that were not real?

"You can trust me, okay?" Cheng smiled when I leaned in. The tip of my tongue captured the tiny bloody drop, and he moved back, slightly surprised as I dropped my body further in the bed and looked intensively at him. He shivered when I licked my lips, thinking at the pleasant sensation I had when I touched his.

Cheng locked his gaze into mine and finally released one of my wrists. It somehow felt lonely at the missing contact... but he only recreated it elsewhere as he cupped one of my cheeks and caressed it as his fingertips brushed my warm skin.

"H-hurts..." I mumbled, leaning against his hand, but a sudden movement caught my attention, ruining the peace and intimacy I had with him. I was about to turn my head toward it, but Cheng immediately stopped me.

"Sssh… Everything is fine; look at me," he reassured me as he turned my head back to the centre. His lip had another blood drop as I looked up, but Cheng captured it with his thumb and positioned it on my ajar lips. He shivered when I licked his thumb, and I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation of his warmth exploding inside me.

"C-Cheng?" something pierced the side of my neck, and I groaned, complaining under his body weight as something cold started to run inside my veins. Something was pulling me toward a void and detaching me from reality until Cheng's weight became imperceptible. 

This wasn't a dream, but how could I feel so lost inside my own conscience?

I was shot out of the void, and my body splattered against a grey pavement. I crunched and held my stomach as I threw up blood, gasping at every spurt before the other followed. I lifted my head, noticing that I was in an empty room with grey walls. A bright white light was above me, the same light people use in a theatre, so blinding that I had to squeeze my eyes before recognising the person standing right before me.

"Y-you...?" I murmured, bewildered. A cold sweat shook my body, and I fell, losing my balance.

How could he be here? This had to be a nightmare-

"It's not the right time, my boy." he grinned, leaning toward me with his usual amused expression, locking my gaze with his.

"Forget what happened here. You need to suffer a little more." he clenched my throat and pushed me before I could fight back, getting sucked into the void again.

The grey room disappeared before me, and everything turned silent and dimmed into pitch darkness. I held my breath and allowed the cold of the atmosphere to freeze my painful body, praying to wake up from that nightmare as soon as possible.

"Cheng..." I whined painfully before allowing myself to rest.