The next morning, around 10 am, he had got all the paperwork done and could leave the hospital. When he walked out of the lobby and into the warm air outside he realised he was not that far from his old apartment. He shuddered just thinking about the place. Pulling out his cell phone he wrote his mother a short text, asking her or someone else to pick him up. 

There were no missed calls nor messages, Elias hadn`t tried to contact him. Not even once. Not even an apology or excuse. Adlai knew it wouldn`t have changed anything, but he had hoped for a sign telling him that Elias cared for him in the slightest.

He looked around, watching people go by or rush into the hospital and tried not to think about it, but in the end it all came down to it:

Nobody had tried to contact him.

He was alone.

Close to being pulled down the spiral again he knew it would finally permanently break him. And he had his answer too: Elias didn`t love him. That prickly feeling in the back of his nose signalized him that he would be crying soon if he didn`t stop thinking about Elias now.

"You`re worthless." A voice  in his head whispered. The voice wasn`t talking about Elias. He knew it was talking about him.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." He began slapping his hand against his forehead and he would have continued if not for the car that stopped right in front of him. 

"Son, stop doing that. At least save that last bit of dignity."

"Mother. It`s..." He trailed. He was going to say `nice to see you` but that would have been a lie. Not finishing his sentence he got into the passenger seat of the car. He watched his mother out of the corner of his eye. She looked exhausted and he could see a bruise forming on her cheek.

"What happened?"

"Oh nothing, darling. Just a little conflict of opinion between your stepdad and me. Nothing you have to worry about."

She never called him `darling`. But he knew she wouldn`t tell him more. So he just sighed and stayed silent while watching houses pass by. He let his mind wander again. Now that there was no one in his life he couldn`t survive loosing or rather no one he hadn`t already lost, he didn`t have to pretend anymore. And maybe, just maybe, he could finally find peace. Stop fighting everyday, the only reason being that he wanted everyone, including himself apperently, to think he was doing well, content with what he had. A smile crept onto his lips. 

But it soon fell again when they arrived at their destination. 

He didn`t need to wear the mask for the people already gone, the people he loved and cared for, but he was still here and he needed the mask to protect him from people he didn`t care for, because they too, could hurt him - break him. In another way. They couldn`t -wouldn`t- hurt him with something they took from him but rather with something they brought to him.

One of those people was his stepfather. The man had never cared for him and neither did he. After his mother had married him she got sucked into his world and he couldn`t do anything but watch as she drifted further and further away from him. And when she gave birth to his half-sister it was too late. At that time he was seven, almost eight. 

His stepfather, David, didn`t think of him as a son, not even for one second, Adlai had always been an annoying, talking abomination to him. 

When his half-sister got a bicycle for Christmas he got a ragged old Teddy bear. David payed for everything his half-sister wanted whenever she wanted. But he didn`t spend one cent on Adlai. And seeing that David didn`t allow Adlai`s mother to work anymore he was left with things his mother found in the trash. He didn`t understand it back then: Why didn`t he get a bicycle? Before his mother remarried he would get real presents too. Perhaps if he hadn`t known how it could be, it wouldn`t have made him so - so... sad.

Now as an adult he knew the reason - even if he still couldn`t understand it. But the exclusion out of the common human emotion range of his stepfather didn`t stop there...

He snapped out of it.

Unbuckling his seatbelt he noticed his mother was still in the car. He looked up. "What?"

"I convinced David to let you stay for now but we both know you should get out as soon as you can. I can`t do anything more. Find a job or use money you saved - either way - get a new place as fast as you can." 

"I understand."

"And try not to challenge or provoke him."

"As if it is my fault when he comes onto me. I never do anything. But it`s reason enough for him that I exist."

"You know that isn`t true…"

"Oh really?"

He opened the car door and got out, slamming it shut after him.

Everytime they talked about something like this the only thing in her eyes was pity. He knew it wasn`t her fault, the part were she married him, yes, but his actions weren`t hers and Adlai knew that she was just as helpless as he had been before he moved out.

When she had gotten out too he asked: "Is he home?"

"Yes. He was in a bad mood earlier-" He couldn`t have guessed, he thought sarcastically. "-so please go straight to Sara`s room. She is with her friends for the next two weeks. Celebrating graduation. I`ll bring you something to eat up later."

"Okay."

And without even looking at the door which led to the living room he went up the stairs and into his half-sisters room. 

So, two weeks, he thought as he sat down onto the bed. That was not much time. Seeing that today was Tuesday he decided that he could wait until Friday with looking for a job. For now he would stay hidden in this room and wallow in self-pity.