The man named Will is finally sleeping peacefully against my chest. He stared at me for a while before passing out completely, and now I’m afraid to look away from him. He’s so unbelievably pale and thin, with his limbs spread over me like snow-dusted branches. Every time his face twitches in his sleep, I glance at the mark. It’s darkening.  It’s to the side of his left eye, just where I assume mine has formed as well. It’s tiny, with jagged edges. Like a birthmark. Except it’s not a birthmark. I did this to him.

I fight the urge to cry again when I stare so long my vision blurs. I’ve never been emotional like this.

A gentle ray of morning sunlight peaks through the living room curtains and brushes softly against his cheek. My hand moves of its own accord to follow the particles of light, and before I know what I’m doing I’ve swept his thick, black hair away from his eyes. Oh…my. It’s the first time I’ve seen his brow so relaxed, with those long lashes tickling the dark crescents from lack of sleep. He’s...beautiful.

My face instantly burns while I try to push that thought out of my brain, but it’s really useless as my entire body begins to overheat. I have to focus on the ceiling in order to calm down. 

It takes a while. The room is filled with light by the time I can look at Will again, and I instantly freeze. He’s staring at me.

“H-hey.” I stammer. My voice is completely raw at this point.

Will lifts his head a little before blinking down at my chest like he’s not really sure where he is. I watch his eyes travel across the dried blood and dirt coating my skin with a tight clenching sensation spreading along my throat. I’m pretty gross right now. When his dark blue stare lands on mine, I hold my breath. He’s...scared? 

Will sits up slowly while his hand approaches my face. He’s...covered in my blood. When he touches me, I can’t move. His long, thin fingers turn my head to the side, then gently graze the skin on my neck. Ah, geez. He takes a few moments to examine me while I’m thinking maybe I’ll be melting here pretty soon, then he pulls away and braces his arms against the couch. Everything about him trembles as he pushes himself to stand, and the shaking quickly spreads to me. Is he okay? I scan him quickly, and my eyes land on the scratches I’d dug in his side in my desperation for him to touch me. To heal me. Oh no. My stomach drops as it sinks in that I’ve harmed him even more. I’m such a piece of shit.

But before I can apologize again, Will straightens his paint-stained shorts and shuffles into the kitchen without a word. What do I do now? 

I hear the sink running. A glass set on the countertop. Ice cubes clinking.

I force myself to take a deep breath before I glance down at my pants and feel around for a phone. I should probably check my messages. A few of the pack had come late last night, but I’d let them know I was okay.  

My phone’s not in my pocket, so I do a rushed search of the tiny living room. Leather couch. Ladybug lamp. Pale blue curtains.

I figure Emma probably called Mom right after I flipped out. I never lose it like that. Crap. My phone is still in the truck at Emma’s house. I ended up running here because I shifted before I could actually drive. Wolf speed was probably faster, anyway.

A door closing nearby pulls me out of my head. There’s a creaking sound, then water pouring out of a tap. He’s showering? I’ve moved to stand in front of the bathroom in the hallway within seconds before I decide I really don’t know how to go about anything right now. So I change directions and head to the kitchen sink to get some water. It feels like someone dumped a bag of sand down my throat, so I’m probably pretty dehydrated. I’m on my second full cup before I notice the bottle of whiskey on the counter next to an empty glass. Oh. Shit.

On my way down the hall, I hear Will fall. Hard.

I’m through the bathroom door before I even know what I’m doing. I throw back the curtain and he’s there on his back with his arms splayed on either side of the tub. My brain jolts at the site of...all of him strewn about as if he’s sleeping or something. His skin is unbearably smooth, like he’s sculpted from porcelain. Every inch curves gracefully over his bones and lean muscles, and it’s completely overwhelming. My eyes flicker over the v-shaped dip across his hips until my face is steaming more than the air behind the curtain. He’s…perfect.

I snap out of it when I hear a sigh, and my attention darts to Will squeezing his eyes closed with his head leant against the tiled wall.

“Are you alright?” My voice emerges somehow.

He scrunches his face and mutters something under his breath in response. 

“Umm...” I reach forward, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “Take my hand.” 

Nothing. Not even a flinch. Should I ask again? My heart is racing so hard as I climb into the tub that I’m afraid it’ll fly through my chest and knock into him. I have to kneel to pull him against me while I investigate his head. I check for bleeding with my fingers since his hair’s so dark. There’s just a bump or two. 

“I’m gonna help you up.” I gently toss his arms around my neck and grasp his sides before hoisting him to standing. Will falls against my chest with his chin draped over my shoulder before I can manage to say anything else. He’s a few inches taller than me, and that fact seems more than a little daunting as his sigh sweeps goosebumps down my spine. Oh my god. I gulp through the thick heat of everything about this before blinking my eyes clear of shower spray.  

“Wake up,” he mumbles right in my ear. 

“Um…” I glance down at our feet as confusion overtakes me. “I am awake.”

Just give him a sec. I distract myself by watching the water rinse the blood from our skin. It swirls a deep red around our toes before rushing to the drain. One of his nails is blue at the base.

“Ack.” Will’s eyes snap open and he lifts off me so suddenly, I nearly slip. 

He doesn’t even acknowledge my presence when he reaches behind me and grabs a bottle of shampoo. Oh, god. The simple action causes his hips to press against my soaking shorts, and I have to bite down on the inside of my cheek while I plead desperately with my own body. Don’t. You. Dare. 

To my utter surprise, Will squirts the clear substance into his hand and pats it onto my head without pause. Before I can manage any thoughts whatsoever, he’s massaging my tangled mess of hair. Oh…my. His nails are gentle against my scalp, and the sweet scent of lavender overwhelms my brain as he works the shampoo with a tenderness that melts my feet into the tub’s basin. My god, this feels good.

I have to fight to keep my eyes open as the blood under my skin rushes down my body in response to him doing this right now. Don’t. No no no. I blink when bubbles start to scurry over my face, and as soon as my vision is clear, I discover Will squinting at the mark by my eye. 

He curls his lips inward while shaking his head. “Wake. Up.” He taps my chest with each word. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” 

“Um…?” I can’t really say much else while he carries on with the washing. What’s his deal?

I simply stay still while he wipes the skin on my neck before continuing down my chest with soft, firm hands. He’s so focused on cleaning me that the tip of his tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth, and it might just be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Ah, shit. The more I look at him, the more useless I become as words drift out of my brain. Even if I can think of something to say, I won’t be able to verbalize it. 

I watch him start to shampoo his own hair without moving out of his space. He’s not even wincing as he rubs over the bruises on his head, and I’m so entrapped by his mere existence that Will has to gently push me out of the way so he can rinse. He hands me a bar of soap when he’s done.

“You can do that part.” He motions to my shorts and spins around towards the wall without another glance.

Someone kill me now.

I’m relieved he’s turned away as I do a quick “gentleman’s wash.” I keep my boxers on while draping my shorts over the side of the tub. It’s extremely awkward trying to rinse all the bubbles off, and I can feel my skin burning underneath a blush I can’t control when I catch slight movement in my peripherals. Oh geez. Please don’t be watching this.

“Wake up.” Will’s voice is so pleading, I momentarily forget to feel embarrassed.

I shut off the tap before glancing over at him. His head is dipped down against the shower wall as he clutches his hair with his fingers. Water trails along the lines and muscles of his back, and I have an inner battle with myself not to look lower. But I lose. For a few seconds. Geez.

I force my eyes away and peer behind the curtain, then grab a towel from the shelf over the toilet. “Here.” I’m finally able to get a word out, but it can hardly be considered speech.

Will turns slowly to face me, then in a swift motion he’s got one of his hands grasping my chin with the other pinching my cheek. “Wake up!” He whispers frantically with his eyes so wide it’s rather startling.

“Hey!” I swat at his fingers, trying not to wince at the crisp scent of whiskey on his breath. “I’m awake. What are you doing?” Is he nuts?

“Then let me wake up!” Will turns away and throws back the curtain. He pulls a towel from the shelf before stomping straight out of the bathroom without even a look over his shoulder. 

He thinks…he’s dreaming?