My heart pounds as I try to comprehend what just happened. Something that started out as a simple apology turned into… Well, I don’t know, actually. What exactly is this? I mean, I could’ve misinterpreted his texts and possibly made a fool of myself, but what if I didn't? What if the message I had sent in the heat of the moment was actually the response he was hoping for? I have no idea but I'm kinda scared to find out.

   If I'm being honest, though, I’ve always been attracted to Issac. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything, I don’t believe in all that, but there’s no denying the fact that he’s cute. I can’t even look into his eyes for more than five seconds without blushing. And getting caught blushing while staring at a hot guy is not exactly how I plan on coming out of the closet.

   This attraction could’ve been what influenced me to respond that way because I know for a fact that I don't like him in that. At least, that’s what I used to think. Now, as my mind- like the traitor it is- thinks of scenarios of us being together, my stomach starts filling with butterflies. Especially when I begin imagining what it would be like to kiss him. To feel our lips moving slowly against each other as his hand gently caresses my face. The imagery is so vivid I swear I could actually feel his mouth on mine.

   I shake my head hard to clear all those ridiculous thoughts because I'm sure this all just a big misunderstanding and I'm overthinking it like I usually do. I take off my glasses and pass a hand over half my face before putting them back on. Shit. This whole text thing is really messing with me. But I don’t have to worry about that anymore since I’m done thinking that way about him.

   That’s easier said than done, of course. It’s kind of annoying how something so small can make you think differently of someone. It won’t last long though. This whole thing will blow over soon. Tomorrow will come, I’ll go to school, and everything will be exactly like it was yesterday. Normal. Issac and I are just friends, and I don’t want to ruin that with stupid, crazy fantasies that’ll only last the night.

   I’m taking a quick peek at my phone to make sure there aren’t any more texts from Issac when my little brother, Jaxon, walks in. I get a little annoyed because he always waltzes in like it’s his room even though it’s most definitely not. Would it kill him to knock on the doorframe before entering? Jeez.

   “Mami said to come down for dinner,” he says while staring at the TV.

   “Okay.”

   He stands there for a few minutes, watching the ending of whatever show is on before heading out without another word. I let out a huge sigh as soon as I hear him walk down the stairs. It’s not that I don’t like eating with my family or anything, but I prefer to eat alone with a good book in hand, and since my mom's not the same person she was a year or two ago, she won’t even let me read as I eat anymore. Jaxon tries to fill the silence by starting conversations but they never last long so we just slip back into the awkward quietness where the only noise you can hear is the sound of silverware hitting against bowls or plates. The company’s nice but if it’s going to be completely silent, I’d like to, at least, be reading my book.

   I trudge downstairs, eat my food in the agonizing silence that seems to go on forever, and hurry back into my room because even sitting there is too much social interaction and it's left me drained. I should probably work on that. Maybe start going out more? Nah, too many people out there.

   My dogs, Archer and Alfie, come streaming in as soon as I sit on my bed. I pull up YouTube on the TV and put on my musical playlist. Sincerely, Me begins to play, instantly renewing my energy.

   I put my dogs on my bed, so I don’t have to worry about accidentally stepping on them, and start dancing along with the video. My moves become wild and stupid when Big Fun comes on but since my little brother and my mom are downstairs, and there's no one watching me, I have no care in the world about how I look right now.

   I relish the way the beat of a new song makes me throw my hands in the air and sway my hips. I'd never in my life show anyone the way I dance when I'm alone, that's for me and my dogs only. But I won't deny the fact that I can do latin dances pretty well since my dad's been teaching me for years.

   The sound of my brother's footsteps coming up the stairs makes me stop short and race to sit on my bed. By the time he passes my room, I have my computer open and I've started singing the songs instead. Just like any other one of my usual, completely normal, nights with absolutely no crazy dancing involved or looking away from the weird looks my dogs kept throwing my way because I know they're secretly judging me and I don't want to be affected by their unvoiced opinions.

   I write late into the night until finally forcing myself to shut off my computer around two in the morning. I quietly put Archer to use the bathroom one last time- there's been way too many incidents where I've woken up to soiled sheets- before turning off the TV and fully getting into bed.

   Not wanting to stop listening to music yet, I plug in my earbuds and put on Dear Evan Hansen, letting the lyrics and emotions of every song wash over me. But it isn't long until I lose focus, and start thinking about Issac again. I can't help but wonder whether he meant more to his last couple texts than just him being some overly friendly person, trying to look out for me.

   I wish I could ask, but I'd never have the guts to send the message. It would also risk giving him a hint that I'm gay, and I'm not ready to come out yet. I don't even know what Isaac's sexuality is! For all I know, I could be laying here overthinking this entire thing, while he's over there, being straight, having a wet dream about some random girl, and not caring about the texts at all.

   I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. This is stupid, I think to myself. Why am I still going on about this? It's not like he'd be interested in you anyway, even if there was a chance he's into guys. Why would he? I'm not special or-

   Archer's sudden snore breaks me out of my thoughts. I smile at him adoringly and plant a light kiss on his head, grateful that he unknowingly stopped me from, once again, putting myself down.

   I take a quick peek at my phone, checking the time, and heave another sigh when I see it's already three thirty in the morning. I refocus on the music playing and snuggle closer to my dogs, letting their warmth and comfort drift me off to sleep.