23 July 2130

Daria,

There's something I need to tell you. I've been avoiding this for a long time because you're one of my best friends.

But today, I had to fight Archie. Archie, Daria! I had to fight one of us. I hate this so much. We're losing each other. He's okay, don't worry. I'm okay. I didn't have the heart to hurt him, and I don't think he did, either.

For that moment, though, I was terrified. More terrified than I've been since this damn thing started. I didn't want to hurt him. I'd rather he killed me. I thought this war would be done soon and we'd sort things out with the faeries, but things are just getting worse. I don't even know if there's going to be an end any more.

And the sounds of the battle... they're awful. Even when I sleep, I hear blasts and explosions. It gets into your soul, you know? I can't even close my eyes anymore. I can barely think sometimes. Why did anyone think this was a good idea? They have magic. What do we have? Some guns and bombs. Nothing.

But I realised something today. Every single one of those faeries could be just like Archie or Maia. Every single one of them could have human friends, and they're being forced into this bullshit just because of our governments. And here I am killing them, and I don't even know why!

I'd say that you're lucky you didn't get conscripted, but I bet things are awful at the hospital, too. Are you allowed to treat the faeries, too? Do they even come in? Have you seen anyone we know? God, I hope not. We've lost too much as it is.

I feel like I'm losing my sense of who I am. I'm losing everything. I've lost Maia, and Archie and I can't be friends anymore. I don't want to lose you, too.

Maybe I'm a coward for saying this over a letter instead of telling you to your face, but I didn't have the courage to do it for so many years. I'm probably going to die tomorrow, so I don't really have much to lose.

Look at me. I'm even avoiding saying it now, so I'm just going to come out and say it.

I like you, Daria. I've liked you for years now. More than just as a friend. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship.

I'm sorry if this is really sudden. I just needed to tell you before anything happened to me.

I hope I haven't shocked you too much. I hope you don't hate me now. I understand if you don't want to reply, but I'm glad I said it. Finally.

Meera.