HAPPYVILE

JANUARY 2017

Work was my favourite part of the day; allowing me to see her, interact with her, study her. I could be so close to her and there would be no suspicion. Granted, we were separated by the thin painted wood between the blocks, but it had been enough for a while now, and would be for at least a bit longer. Unfortunately what was not enough was how much attention she showed me.

The only times she looked at me, let alone spoke to me, was if I forced her to break away from her own little bubble. Things had been getting better though, her departing smile no longer appeared as fake as it once was. It was smaller, yet seemed warmer, friendlier. Never did it not leave my heart fluttering as I turned away.

I felt like I could watch her for hours. Being her coworker, it wasn’t too hard to do that on a daily basis. She had long yellow hair that always managed to softly fall over her tasteful cleavage, making me want to feel the strands between my fingers. Her eyes were a dull brown, yet held a captivating warmth. Her favored lipstick colour was a deep red, a shade comparable to blood, a shade I could never seem to get enough of.

I was shaken out of my reverie by a soft giggle. Startled, I looked up, and found those same dull eyes I had been thinking about a moment ago. “What’s so funny?” I asked, as I stared at her dumbly.

“You drooled a bit on your keyboard.” Another giggle. I didn’t know whether to feel enticed by her laughter, or angered by it.

Before I could say anything, she continued on. “Good thing it’s our lunch hour. Wanna join?”

All possible anger immediately left me. Never did I think she would so readily invite me out for lunch, let alone speak unprompted. With zero hesitation I agreed, grabbing my jacket as I got up. She gave me that small smile with those painted lips and we walked out together.

She chose a little hole-in-the-wall café nearby, I didn’t bother to remember the name, or what I had even ordered. She spoke a lot, about herself I presume but I wasn’t paying any attention to her words. I was fixated on her lips as they moved. I wanted to taste the striking colour. I wanted to feel her quickened pulse against my fingertips. I didn’t want a silly little platonic lunch date, I wanted more.

“- and I just needed a break, you know? After James left me I felt lonely. I just wanted to focus on work, I didn’t need people. And then you came along and you’ve just been there for me and I’ve been such a bitch about it.” She took a deep breath then closed her eyes. I kept that look in my memory. “I want to say thank you for being such a good friend to me. Do you forgive me?”

Surprised, I simply nodded. Then suddenly, the semi-closeness the cubicles offered was no longer enough. If I didn’t act now, I may lose my chance forever.

“Do you want to come to my place?”

“Tonight, you mean? I suppose I can make-“

“No. Now. Forget about work, you’ve done a lot today. I’m sure if we leave no one will notice.” She wasn’t convinced.

“Oh I don’t know,” she muttered, looking down as a slight blush rose upon her cheeks. “What if we get in trouble?”

I scoffed. “Nobody there pays any attention. The boss probably left hours ago. No one will notice” I repeated.

She nodded slowly and began to smile that soft smile. “Okay… Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

She kept giggling as we walked hand-in-hand up the building’s stairs. She was excited, but I couldn’t blame her. So was I. This was something I had been looking forward to for a long time. Waiting had been more painful than I had thought.

I pushed my door open and directed her to the couch. “Would you like a drink?” I offered, pointing towards a bottle of wine I had put on the kitchen bench a while ago in anticipation. After her confirmation, I poured two generous glasses full. Using this time I quickly opened the drawer in front of me, grabbing a little secret something for later on.

She smiled as I made my way over to her, glass in each hand. Whispering a thank you under her breath, she took the offered glass, wasting no time in drinking it. Just as planned, the small amount of Rohypnol went undiscovered for now.

I went to take her glass to be refilled, but she grabbed my wrist, her eyes begging me to stay. I conceded, settling down on the couch.

“Sorry about that. I just needed to calm myself. I can get worked up really easily.” She looked genuinely apologetic.

I gave her a warm smile. “It’s okay, dear, I understand. Just know you have nothing to be afraid of with me. We’re ‘friends’, remember?” The irony of the word went over her head, not that I had expected her to understand.

We spoke a bit more, mostly of work, sometimes I’d say something about my own life. The conversation started to dwindle as the drug started taking effect.

“I’m sorry,” she yawned, hiding my mouth behind her hand politely. “I don’t know what’s come over me. I feel… really odd. Oh I really hope I’m not coming down with something.”

Laughing, I put her mind at ease. Don’t worry I don’t believe you’re sick. It’s just the drug.” I smiled at her.

My smile didn’t comfort her and neither did my words. “I- what? Drug?”

“There’s some Rohypnol in your drink. Not enough to fully knock you out, but enough to make you really tired. That’s what it does, it decreases the delta waves in your brain. But silly me, I doubt you know what I’m talking about, hmm?” Her eyes were worried but her face had not found the effort to project how she was feeling. “You’re going to be really sluggish and out of it. Good thing you need only lay there, eh?”

My joke didn’t seem to register as all she did was begin to sob, her body only managing soft whimpers and slight tears. “Please,” she whispered. “Please don’t hurt me. You said you forgave me.”

I brushed the hair out of her eyes, and she began to slump on the couch. “It’s okay, there wasn’t even anything to forgive. I’ve wanted this for a while now, Amanda. Ever since we first met. I’ve wanted to feel your hair as I grab it.” I did as I spoke, my fingers roughly wrapping around her yellow locks.

I pulled hard, exposing her neck. As I placed my lips over her jugular she tried to scream, but she lacked the energy to do so. The drug was working so well she couldn’t even produce adrenalin. Her heartbeat was fast but very weak. I couldn’t believe the time had finally arrived.

I moved her head so she could stare at my lap. I made her watch as I pulled out the small, sharpened knife. As I dragged the blade over her slight cleavage, her eyes widened as much as they would allow in her barely conscious state.

Her heart began to work even more, her pulse becoming stronger as I brought the blade towards her again exposed neck. Before I made my move, I pushed my lips against her own, licking her red lips as reference. Then, I quickly ran the knife across her throat.

Blood quickly rushed out, hitting my lips and chest, as well as covering her. I licked my lips, tasting her blood. It tasted nothing like the same colour she always wore. This was certainly more desirable. As I pushed her body off my lap, blood stained her yellow hair, creating a captivating contrast that took my breath away.

Her eyes had become duller, and no longer were they warm and inviting. She had become more gorgeous in death, much like the other ones.

I stepped over her body and made my way to the bedroom, grabbing my favourite camera, one of the original Polaroids. I clicked my tongue as I noticed I was yet again running out of film. Well it would have to wait.

I took a picture of the lovely Amanda, then added the photograph to my collection. It was there that she joined Stacey, Clarence, another Amanda, and many others. I wondered if she would have been flattered to know that she was prettier than a few of the other girls.

Sleep began to overcome me, and put the photo album away. Back in the lounge I laid down next to the recently departed. The strong smell of blood was like a lullaby, and soon I was drifting off, thoughts filled of Amanda and the others.

My final thought was of Natalia.

My cubicle was right across from hers.

WRITTEN BY: Caitlin ‘Eli’ Stuart @dizzee_bee