Take your time and breathe.
Oliver thought to himself, sitting at a bar with a drink before him. The voices and laughs of Rowan's group of friends took over the room's atmosphere, and Oliver didn't expect he'd see them in his favorite place. It frustrated him, seeing how he was so hurt when the reason for his sadness was having fun and laughing as if nothing had happened. However, he felt guilty for thinking in such a selfish way, and it made his hate for himself grow even larger. The male brought the beverage to his lips and sipped, hoping no one from the group recognized him.
Before he knew it, the glass in his hand was empty. Without much thought, he asked for more, feeling too sick of that group to even think about how he could get affected. Sip after sip, second after second, the loud group were starting to calm down, and so was Oliver. He decided to order water instead, and looked at the clear liquid with furrowed brows. His mind was empty, and so was his heart.
He glanced at the only person he knew in that group through the corner of his eyes, his vision slightly cloudy as he felt tipsy from the alcohol he had consumed. A soft red hue sat over his cheeks as he looked away soon after, fearing the others noticing him. He wondered if it was right for him to look again, to watch the man of his dreams for a little longer, to fantasize a little more... Oliver kept on wondering, his thoughts escalating and morphing, most of the words in his mind making little to no sense.
What felt like seconds turned into minutes, soon gathering together and turning into an hour. Oliver could only gaze blankly at the now warm cup of water before him. Why would he let someone out of his reach hurt him so much? He scoffed, reaching a hand to run through his hair.
By then, he didn't realized that the group that garnered a part of his attention had left, and the only remaining one was Rowan. The arrogant looking man made his way towards the lonely brunette, getting ready to greet him.
"Hey, Oli."
Oliver jumped in his seat. Rowan’s familiar voice brought Oliver back to the real world, but he was so surprised that he had almost fell from his seat. It's not like he was hiding himself, but he never expected Rowan to see him, let alone talk to him.
"Uh, Hey."
He greeted back, mentally wanting to punch himself for being so awkward. The air around them felt so out of place, he swore he could feel his chest tightening.
Rowan's dark eyes looked around the other to see no one else was with him, making him feel the need to ask a certain question. "You're alone?"
Oliver froze in his place, wondering whether or not he should lie. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he answered. ".. Yeah."
"Oh, I see. I have to.. Go now. Good night." The bigger male said before walking away, Oliver watching as his figure disappeared behind the bar's door. God damn it, he felt so embarrassed he wanted to dig a hole and live in it for the rest of eternity.
Feeling way too restless, Oliver stumbled off his stool and made his way out. Thanks to his shitty luck, it had started to rain, causing his already pissed off mood to boil. Not wanting to get back into that intoxicating bar, he held his hands into fists and ran to the nearest convenience store; a small one near the entrance of a rather old apartment complex.
As the soaked male with glaring eyes entered the store, the cashier couldn't help but stare in fear. Even when Oliver had a delicate frame, his glare made him look like a gangster. The brunette pulled out a damp pack of cigarettes along with a lighter from his pants' pocket, taking out a surprisingly dry cigarette and lighting it on.
"U-uhm, sir, this is a no smoking area..!" The cowardly cashier uttered shakily, only to flinch and shut up once Oliver gave her a threatening glance. It seemed like the alcohol had mixed well with his negative emotions, making him ready to fight anybody in his way.
While he was starting to calm down with his back to the wall and smoke escaping from between his lips, a rather familiar voice called out to him.
"Oliver..?"
Caron, a tall male with brown hair, stared at the soaked man next to the store's entrance. After making sure he saw the person he called out to, the male quickly ran a hand through his messy hair and tried to fix it. "You seem to be in a bad mood.. Are you okay?" He asked after quickly paying the cashier for the few items he had bought.
Oliver puffed out the smoke, taking his sweet time before responding. "No, I'm not fine at all."
Caron looked with worry present in his eyes, hesitating slightly before asking. "Is it about him again?"
The other male paused, his eyes glued to the burning cigarette between his fingers. "... Yeah." He answered, letting the cigarette rest between his lips before he exited the store and stood right in front of it, the rain barely able to touch them. "Are you free right now?" He asked Caron, to which he responded to with a nod.
"Of course."
Oliver was finally able to get his negative thoughts out of his head, sharing them with Caron. The taller male was a good listener, and he was usually the person Oli vented to instead of bothering Vivian. Without Oliver noticing, the rain had stopped, and the male felt extremely worn out. The two decided to bid their farewells and go on with their lives. Even after venting, Oliver still felt like something was wrong. He felt like what he had said wasn't what he wanted to say, but Caron had already left. He felt dumb and insecure, as if expressing his real feelings would be a burden.
While Caron seemed to be carefree, he had a feeling that Oliver wasn't satisfied. However, he didn't know how to help. At that point, everything was too confusing.
But understanding such complicated matters takes time, a long time.
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