Xenja rummaged in her memories. Endless nights on the weekend she had spent hidden between the pages of romance novels, only her tired eyes and the loud clicking high heels of her mother stopping her from reading until the next morning. The words "I love you" became almost imprinted in her head, but she never imaged actually having those feelings for another person. Nothing had taught Xenja how being in love would feel like. Her mind was constantly occupied with things Stevie had said, little details of her face and especially her clear voice since it helped her a lot the past weeks.

All of it left Xenja wanting to be with her, missing her after just a few minutes. Barely an hour had passed since the young pianist skipped home happily, and she was already staring at the few photos she had of Stevie, wanting her by her side.

Just as unfamiliar this feeling of affection was, so unexpected was the awkwardness of the girls' next meeting the day after tomorrow, which started with a careful hug and not only an uncomfortable silence but also unusually much distance between them. While Xenja expected that many things would change for the better after the seemingly fated afternoon, she had not thought about how exactly they would handle that.

Was it alright to embrace Stevie and hold her tightly, to pull her close and kiss her? Unsure of what to do, both of them just sat down in Xenja's room at first, awkward smiles on their lips, nervousness on their minds.

Trying to act normally, Xenja had led Stevie to her room, though not taking her hand as she would have done until now, which Stevie noticed – and disliked. The awkward feeling peaked when the girls sat down at the piano with their hips touching as usual, while not so usual after all. Both were a bit uneasy, did Xenja not want to make Stevie feel uncomfortable with her touch. But when Stevie couldn't place her hand correctly and Xenja tried adjusting it with her own, she flinched away on contact. Then, Stevie had enough.

"Xenja what's wrong with you? Why are you acting as if I'd break the moment you touch me?" she spoke with a raised voice. Xenja trembled, fell back in her old scared self for a moment before she collected herself, then took her board and started writing.

[I don't know. I'm happy but also scared. It's so different.]

Stevie read the response and let out a sigh which left room for interpretation. Xenja was still unsure regarding understanding human emotions.

"You scared me, Xenja, I thought you had something against me!" replied Stevie, her face seeming frustrated, "Look, you don't have to be cautious around me. You never had to be from the start. Yes, it is different, nevertheless, we already are a couple, are we not?"

She took Xenja's hand in hers, shaking for a second, and continued, "If you want to hold my hand, take it. If you want to hug me, do it. If you want to kiss me-"

Xenja didn't need to wait for the whole sentence to press her lips against the blonde's. Her desire for Stevie had risen while the last words came out. Then she couldn't hold herself back any longer. As if shackles had fallen off her wrists, Xenja was freed and went back to the person she became around Stevie.

What followed was not only the most fun piano lesson yet, but also a nice evening of cuddling - even though Stevie had to initiate that too.

Xenja was about to take the usual two blankets they used whenever watching TV together, after all, it still was cold December, when Stevie took the one handed to her and threw it back on the sofa.

"We only need one of those, don't you think?" She spoke as she wrapped her arm around the short girl's waist. Xenja realized that Stevie knew that she had to teach her many things, and actively tried to do just that - even though she herself seemed to have no experience.

So once that was made clear, Xenja crawled onto the big bed and laid under the blanket, motioning to Stevie to join her. The blonde - who seemed to have opened up and went back to her bold attitude - took that offer and laid down as close to her girlfriend as she could, her arm and leg straddling Xenja.

Both girls were laying there red-faced, but clearly happy, at least Xenja didn't think that Stevie could be anything else than happy, seeing her genuine smile as she was looking directly in her eyes.

The plan of watching a movie was never completed that night, as Stevie made sure to fulfill the desire she's had since the first time the girls met. Xenja never had that feeling before, nor did she know that it was her body's craving for the touch of another. But once the girls' lips and tongues had interlocked, there was no separating them until they were both finished, did the girls not even get to take off their shirts completely.

None of both knew what to do really, they just tried to somehow make the other feel good - and Stevie knew she had succeeded when she got to hear Xenja's voice for the first time, even if just for a small moan.

It was an exhausting venture into the unknown for both, an embarrassing one for one of them - had Xenja let her voice come out - and a sinful one for the other. But neither of them cared when they were cuddling in bed, satisfied.

It was late at night when Stevie started to leave, did they not want for Xenja's mother to come back and find them together. As much as Xenja wanted to tell her mother about all of this, she wasn't sure if her mother would understand.

She never talked with her mother about her acceptance of homosexual couples, until now there was no need to, but she recalled her mother using some slurs now and then which led her to believe that she wouldn't be very happy with this development.

But Xenja was too happy to be worried at that moment, she went to bed happy and satisfied, filled with thoughts of the prettiest blonde of all.