I covered my mouth with my hands. I hadn't even realized how much I'd been smiling. It had been a long time since I'd felt so content, just watching my friends being happy and ridiculous was enough for me. Anderly took another sip of wine and set her glass down on the coffee table. Then she was staring at me with a wry look, her dark eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Jeez, stop looking at me like that!" I leaned away from her, and my face felt hot.
"Are you blushing? That's fucking adorable!" She slumped over on top of me and hugged me, giggling.
"I don't blush!" I yelled, trying to pry her off. "Are you drunk already?!" She stopped struggling and flopped her head onto my chest with a sigh, her dark brown curls splaying all over me.
"You're whiter than a ghost, so it's pretty obvious." She chuckled and looked up at me. "It's really cute."
"I'm not cute! You're cute!" I yelled as she snuggled completely on top of me, her arms clamped around my chest and her face against my neck. "Your giant boobs are crushing me! Get off!" I was laughing as much as I was trying to wriggle out of her grasp.
"I can tell you've never touched a boob before, DDD isn't even that big!" She was hysterically laughing and had to try to control it so she could talk.
"I don't even know what DDD means!" I could hardly breathe from laughing so hard and being clung to so tightly.
"I rest my case!"
I heard Hex clear his throat from the bottom of the stairs.
"You know you can't have a three-way without me, don't you? I'm hurt."
Anderly and I both froze and looked over at Hex. His serious expression just made her and I start laughing even more. We let go of each other and sat up, trying to breathe at a normal pace.
"Neither of you would ever want to have sex with me anyway! You gay assholes!" She yelled, crossing her arms and sitting on the couch.
I just snorted and raised my eyebrows as I took a sip of juice. She was just drunk enough to be hilarious.
"Anderly." I said, "You're ace."
"That's not the point!" She pouted, "It's the principal of the thing!"
I laughed at her serious expression, and then she chuckled too.
"Sorry my love." Said Hex to her, coming over to sit between us. "I just enjoy dick too much."
Hex's words surprised me so much I inhaled sharply and juice went down the wrong tube. I started coughing and hacking until Hex was smacking me on the back, that smug smirk on his face.
"Jesus!" I gasped, laughing and choking at the same time. I set my glass on the end table next to the couch.
He just looked amused at my suffering. "You need to get laid, like immediately." He said. "You poor dear."
I caught my breath and swatted his hand away. "That is literally the last thing on my mind these days, but thanks for your concern." Jackass.
As if to remind me it was still there, a jolt of nerve pain shot down my arm like a taser shock, shoulder to fingertips.
"Shit!" It was so sudden that I cursed, my good hand flying over to grab my tensed forearm before my brain could even catch up.
I curled around my pulsing arm, my fingers flexing into claws. My arm muscles were taut like a steel cable, I couldn't relax them at all.
"Ow, god fucking damn it!" As the surprise of the initial shock relented, only anger and humiliation was left. I didn't want to hurt right now. I knew I could never be okay for long. I knew, but I still-
"Cosmo, here." Hex's voice, somber. I heard two clicks, and I smelled smoke, pine, and something skunky and distinct that couldn't be anything else. I looked up, shaking, digging my fingers into my arm. He was holding something small and glowing in front of my face.
A lit joint. He must have brought it down from upstairs earlier. I looked at his face. "Seriously?" I gritted out. Why was he suddenly trying to get me high?
His face was composed. "Just try this for me, okay?" He took a drag to keep the cherry lit, blowing a cloud right over me, and held it to my lips. Fine.
I took a slow hit, and the end of the joint crackled like a campfire. I held it in for just a few seconds and let it out.
I could see Anderly leaning around him, watching me, her eyebrows drawn together, elbows on her knees and chin in her hands. I probably sobered her up fast just from scaring her with my sudden outburst.
"Again." Said Hex. He was staring at my expression and he looked like he was thinking.
Why the fuck not?
Another hit, another cloud. I sat back against the plush sofa cushions. My arm was slowly loosening up. Huh.
Hex pinched the shrinking joint between his tattooed index finger and thumb and held it out to me. "Here, take it."
I did. He got up and went to the kitchen counter, where a wooden cigar box had been sitting, and I just tried to relax. I could see Hex expertly rolling two more joints, methodically, like he'd done it a thousand times. Maybe he had? I didn't really know his marijuana habits, I had only ever seen him smoking socially at two or three parties. I've only smoked weed like three times back when I was in high school, and didn't like how it always made me feel paranoid and anxious. But this time felt... different, somehow. Better. Like, way better.
I smoked more and watched Hex. He was totally emotionless as he rolled the ground bud and little filters into the papers. How the fuck did he do that with those long nails? He licked the paper and sealed it up, twisting the end. Just another thing he was perfect at. He was an enigma in so many ways. I doubted I'd ever know everything about him, while he could read me like a picture book. They both could.
Anderly had relaxed too, and seemed satisfied that I'd be okay. "You feeling okay now?" She asked, sitting cross-legged on the other end of the sofa. "You scared me."
It was very weird how okay I actually was. The pain had faded away into the background so gradually that I didn't even realize it was gone until she reminded me.
"What the fuck." I couldn't believe it. "I think I am ok." When had it stopped? I looked down at my arm, which seemed far away. I made a fist and let it relax. My arm wasn't tight anymore.
Hex shut off all the lights except for the lamp in the corner of the living room, and came back over with a box of pizza, the two joints and a glass ashtray balanced on top. He set everything down on the coffee table and smiled at me.
"You look well and truly blitzed, Cosmo." He said, climbing onto the couch between Anderly and I again. "How does it feel?"
I thought about it. "My skin is vibrating." I said.
"What about the pain?"
"Gone, gone, gone."
He smiled and chuckled like he had won a bet with himself.
My head weighed a hundred pounds, I couldn't raise it from the back of the couch. The joint went out, tucked between my fingers resting on my lap. I didn't need it anymore, I was fucking flying.
Hex plucked the spent joint out of my fingers and put it in the ashtray on the table. He gave one of the new joints to Anderly and took the other for himself. They leaned together so he could light them both with one flame. Coughing, Anderly picked up the remote from the table and turned on the TV mounted on the wall, flipping to some drama show on Netflix that I absolutely couldn't keep up with. She summoned two plush throw blankets from somewhere, and she kept one and gave the other to Hex. He pulled it up over our laps, tucking it around me. Anderly settled on the other couch so she had room to lay on her stomach and use her laptop.
No one spoke for a long time. My phone was still in my bag, I had no idea what time it was. It had to be past midnight. White smoke swirled up to the ceiling in lazy spirals and vanished, and it felt like my inhibitions were floating away with it.
~
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