There were five employees (Hex told me they were called budtenders?) behind the counter, and four of them were busy helping other customers. Hex and I went to the only available space, and he immediately flashed his most dazzling smile at the budtender who had called us over.
"Mordecai! Fancy seeing you here." Hex crooned.
The guy behind the counter was very tall, much taller than Hex, even. He had brunette hair that was longer and wavy on top and shaved on the sides. It had a kind of rockabilly vibe that I could appreciate. His earlobes had wood plugs in them the size of quarters, and he had two piercings in his face, high over each cheekbone. Microdermals: I recognized them from the magazines at work. He had a huge grin on his face at the sight of Hex.
"I work here, dude." He said, a hint of laughter on his voice. Apparently they knew each other? The easy way they spoke seemed to hint at a not-so-professional relationship. "I was happy to get your call."
So this is who he was calling back at the park.
"Well, you know I can't resist stopping by to see my favorite budtender." Said Hex, brazenly flirting. Ugh. The guy was playing along, and they were both ignoring me.
Mordecai shushed him playfully, glancing around. "Don't say that so loud, you're gonna make my coworkers jealous." He said, turning to me.
His extremely bright blue eyes pinned me to the spot. "Oh! We're being rude, Hex." He said, noticing my short and dull self for the first time. "Who's your friend?"
"This is Cosmo." He slung his arm around my shoulders. "I've convinced him to come try something new. It's his first time." Hex made that last sentence sound absolutely indecent, but I wasn't sure if it was just because he always talked like that, or if he was actively trying to mortify me. I felt the blood rise to the back of my neck.
"Uh. Hi." I managed, fucking trapped between the diabolically hot man in front of me and Hex's tattooed arm around my shoulders.
"Nice to finally meet you!" Mordecai said, cheerful. "It's nice to meet more of Hex's friends."
Finally meet me?
Hex took his phone out of his pocket (he had been very excited to find a skirt with pockets) tapped and scrolled on it for a second, and slid it across the shiny black countertop to Mordecai, who picked it up.
"Here," Said Hex, more serious. "I had him help me list some of the problems he's been having, and I put some strains and things I think might help. We'd love your professional opinion, of course."
I groaned inwardly. It was so embarrassing to just share my personal issues with anyone, let alone a complete stranger. I shifted my feet. Was this a mistake? Maybe I could still make a run for it.
Hex must have felt me tensing up, because he dropped the arm that was around my shoulders and put a comforting hand on the small of my back, saying nothing. I took a deep breath. Mordecai was reading something on the phone, his dark eyebrows pulled together like he was deep in thought.
"Jeez, Hex." He said, smiling again. "You trying to take my job? You've been doing your research." He handed back the phone.
Hex loved being complimented. "I wouldn't dream of it. I just learned from the best, that's all."
"You're killing me." He said, dramatically clutching his heart. I could see why Hex had made friends with him.
Mordecai turned his attention to me again, his bright blue eyes full of determination. "Let's see what I can dig up for you then, Cosmo."
Oh hell. Even his voice was hot. My heart stuttered when he said my name. Hex must have felt that too, because now he was rubbing my good arm, with his across my back.
I was really not used to being looked at like that. I had no idea what this guy was thinking, and it made me uncomfortable in a way I couldn't understand.
Mordecai got to work, turning his back to us so he could look for various products on the glass shelves behind him. Hex looked shamelessly at his denim clad ass, then glanced at me, a tiny smirk on his lips. I couldn't help but look too, just for a second. Of course his ass was perfect, damn it. I jerked my eyes away, my face burning.
I glared at Hex. You fucker.
He just looked smug. I rolled my eyes.
Mordecai turned back around, thankfully oblivious, and set a few items down on the counter.
"Okay, well let me tell you about this stuff and you can decide if you'd like to try it, okay?"
I swallowed, my mouth dry. I hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt. "Sure."
He happily proceeded to explain the products, "This one-" He tapped on the lid of a small round jar. "-is a balm made with coconut oil. It's good for everyday sore muscles, nerve pain, and inflammation. It doesn't really have a smell, and it won't get you high, so you can use it whenever you want."
He had a slight accent that I couldn't place, but I tried to ignore it and pay attention.
He moved on to an amber glass bottle with a dropper lid. "This is a tincture, so you'll need to either hold it under your tongue before swallowing it, or you can put it into food or drinks. It's for more serious pain, and it can calm down anxiety too."
He pushed the last two items forward, a chocolate bar and a little bag of gummy bears. "These are both edibles." He picked up the gummy bears to show me the bag. It looked like an average bag of candy, except for the big white warning sticker.
"These are intended to be really uplifting, so they're good for a mood pick-me-up. They might energize or get you motivated, but also they might make you want to vacuum your front yard." I might have laughed a little at that one. A corner of his mouth lifted, but he moved on to the chocolate bar.
"This is my favorite. I like to eat these and veg out on the couch and watch Netflix, play video games, or just chill. For me, everything becomes super focused, and it really clears up my thoughts. It's pretty strong though, so read the dosage instructions, or it might get you a little too messed up. Just try everything a little at a time until you know what helps, and what you can handle."
The little emerald gems on his piercings rose when he smiled. "Any questions?"
I stood there struck dumb by this enthusiastic specimen of a human being and all the information I just had thrown at me. I got the feeling Mordecai really loved his job, or maybe just weed in general.
"I think you explained everything really well." I said, proud of myself for meeting his glacier blue eyes and keeping my voice steady. "I'm willing to try it out, anyway."
"Cool." He said. "Your thoughts, Hex?
"Seems like a good place to start." He said, skimming over a laminated menu on the counter.
"Add in a gram each of 'Critical Mass', '707 Headband', and 'Game Changer', and you can ring us up."
What's with the weird fucking names?
"Good good." Said Mordecai.
He pulled out some long chopsticks and a scale, and started picking chunks of sticky cannabis flower out of tall glass jars and weighing it. As he was ringing up the stuff, I started screaming internally as the number on the little register screen started climbing.
"Are you sure this is okay, Hex?" I said, quietly. "This is fucking expensive..."
He just raised his eyebrows at me. "I said I'd cover it. And the bud is for me, anyway."
I frowned and he patted me on the back.
"I just finished a big piece-" I figured he meant a tattoo, not cake. "-so don't worry about it, okay? Besides, I talked you into this and we don't know yet if it will help. -Also, I love you."
Damn this smooth bitch.
"Ugh... Thanks." I muttered, crossing my arms. "...Love you too."
Hex was typing something into his phone, and he leaned in to show Mordecai the screen. "Lets just call us even now, hm? It's close enough."
Mordecai looked surprised, then happy. "Really? Thanks, Hex, that's really cool of you."
They shook hands, with me looking between them, and I had zero idea what was going on.
He turned to Mordecai. "How's it healing, by the way?"
"Great! A little itchy, but looking awesome."
What the-
"What's happening?" I asked, very confused and horrified by my imagination.
"We traded tattoo work for weed." Said Hex, like that was a normal transaction.
He just smiled at my perplexed expression and patted me on the head like a dog. I slapped his hand away.
"Okay, here you go!" Said Mordecai, gathering everything together and bagging it up.
He handed me the white paper bag with a copy of the receipt stapled to it, our fingers brushing for the briefest of moments, and a tiny static zap sparked between them. He looked at me with such intensity I felt like I was going to vibrate out of my skin. Those eyes. I've never seen anyone with eyes that blue; it was almost disturbing.
"Enjoy!" His cheerful voice snapped me back to reality. He pulled a business card from somewhere behind the register and handed it over too. "Feel free to call me if you have any questions, okay?"
"Uh..." My brain was melting out of my ears, so thankfully Hex spoke up for me.
"Thanks honey, I'll let you know how everything goes." He bent over the counter and kissed Mordecai on the cheek, and basically had to steer me out the door and back into his car.
What the actual fuck was that? Did I imagine that thing with Mordecai back there?
I must not have imagined it, because halfway home Hex just couldn't contain himself anymore.
"What the actual fuck was that?" He said, smiling like an idiot, his voice high with excitement. My thoughts exactly.
"What?" I'd play dumb, half knowing it wouldn't fly.
"Don't fuck with me. I saw that, he couldn't stop looking at you. There was definitely something there."
"Something like what?" I honestly didn't know. "He was probably only staring at me because he couldn't understand why I was with you." It pissed Hex off when I was self-deprecating around him, but I couldn't help it. I was totally confused and flustered. "That, or he has a fetish for short, socially inept guys with a literal list of serious problems." Nope. No way in hell.
"Don't make me pull this car over." He threatened, jabbing his index finger at me. "You are a fucking beautiful and intelligent creature worthy of love and admiration, and don't you forget it."
"Pfff." He was so serious, I tried not to laugh. I wanted to be angry but it just wasn't possible.
"How do you always know how to cheer me up?"
"Because." Said Hex, turning down his street. "You are my precious darling, and I love you."
"I love you too." I turned toward the window so he wouldn't see my smile. "But keep your eyes on the road."
~
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