It is never as easy at it seems.

The email arrives late on Sunday, while Alex is toying with his piano. He had just called Angela to tell her in private about Luna’s ambition for Eva, and she had told him one thing, “That’s nice and all, but I doubt David will just allow Luna to up and give the role to Eva.”

Angela, as usual, was right.

Hey Alex!

I spoke to David and the board, and they agree the casting would be a great selling point! However, after what happened last year with all the “emotional turmoil”, they don’t want any doubt from any party involved that the casting was not favoritism, “political correctness” or any of that. Besides this, since the last years of both Eva and Carlos with us are fast approaching, and because we found very promising new talent on the auditions, we have decided to schedule call backs for this Wednesday at 6 p.m. sharp. Underneath I leave the list of names (you have their emails on the register) and the names of materials you should send them.

Elle / So Much Better: Eva Acosta and Estefanía Sandoval

Paulette / Ireland: Eva Acosta and Estefanía Sandoval

Warner / Serious: Jaime Fernandez and Mario Benavidez

Emmett / Chip On My Shoulder: Jaime Fernandez and Carlos Prado

Attached to this email you’ll also find piano tracks of each song they are to sing, please forward the respective tracks to the auditionees along with your translations for each song (David approved them already, he checked them over the summer). I’ll leave the list of those in the cast (without roles) on my desk on Tuesday, please make sure to stick it on the studios’ entrance.

See you on Wednesday!

Luna Velasco Ulloa

Director of the Dance and Theatre Departments.

“Could you please stop imitating the voices of people whenever they are not present?” Alex says while typing furiously on his keyboard. “It is distracting and I am not in the mood tonight.”

He understood why Carlos was up against Jaime. His friend’s audition had been serviceable but nothing to write home about, and he was also close to graduation, Jaime on the other hand still had two years to go; David must have been planning to train Jaime. Then there was Eva, and this was the case that actually bothered Alex. Eva was up against the quintessential Sampetrina, Estefanía Sandoval, a tall glass of blonde pettiness and combativeness. Reading Estefania’s name on the email had made Alex’s blood boil: she had not even auditioned!

Estefanía didn’t like the musical. She had taken part in all other concerts in the university, but she had only once been part of the musical and, promptly, decided the rigor and intensity of it all was just not for her. She was a great performer, but a nightmare to work with because of how childish she could be about directions. For her to be on the callbacks, only meant that David had asked her directly to audition, and that he really thought Eva didn’t have the makings of an Elle. Alex really had thought Eva had the role in the bag, but uncertainty is the golden rule of life and he had a wonderful tendency to forget that.

He sent to each auditionee their materials and then went to take a shower. He wondered how everyone would take it, since the last time callbacks had been held was when all of them had been in high school. 

After the shower Alex dressed himself on some pajamas and prepared himself to sleep, but as soon as he touched the bed his phone started to ring. It was Eva.

“Hey!”

“They want me as Elle? For real?!”

“Well, I for one think you’d be perfect but you will have to fight for it,” he says.

“I can’t believe it. Can you imagine? Me as the golden child of Malibu?!” she starts squealing in delight through the auricular.

“I can. Can you?”

“Alex, do you know how long I’ve waited for a chance like this?” she says. To be exact she had been waiting for this sort of role ever since she was nine years old. “And if your narrator told you, don’t answer you cheater.”

“Hahahaha. Then I won’t,” he says. 

"This is a role that is not... solely focused on my body? Do you know how much I want this?" she starts saying. "I mean, yes, it is about a woman defined by her body and the expectations over it, but the show is about her finding her self respect, a passion she thrives in and accepting who she is. AND I GET TO WEAR PINK! I am so excited." 

"I am glad you are," Alex says. “Just… Eva you know what you bring to the table. Make sure of showing it at the call back and I am sure that role is yours.”

“Oh, I’m make all of you stand for me. Just you wait!” and just like that she hangs up. Alex thinks that maybe he is worrying too much, this is Eva. She’ll be fine.

***

The next morning, Alex arrives to his cultural studies class and, as expected by now, finds Moritz is waiting for him by the door.

“I saw Eva and Carlos’ text last night, told you I was lucky!” the German says as soon as he is within earshot.

“No, you are not. Not until they are both casted,” Alex says, stepping inside the classroom.

“So picky,” Moritz says with a smile. “They are happy though, and they keep raving about your translations. I didn’t know you also translated the songs for the musical!”

“I am a decent translator and I understand metric, so David takes advantage of that and sends me the lyrics over the summer to work on them. It’s nothing special.”

“Well, I think otherwise,” Moritz says sitting behind him.

“You really don’t stop complimenting, do you?” Alex says, trying to not blush.

“And you really can’t take a compliment, huh?”

“Oh, shut up you overgrown retriever,” Alex feels a blush pooling on his cheeks, just as the professor is walking into the classroom. He is glad they have to stop this conversation.

After that, the class goes by quick. Just another set of notes and lectures about Adorno and Horkheimer that he will not forget, but he probably won’t use in a while.

Soon enough the bell rings and class is over. He picks up his stuff and walks with Moritz to the cafeteria as usual. It is then that both of them receive a notification on their phones.

La “Eva-siva” Acosta

Won’t c u @ lunch, we will 🎶 

“Well, I should have seen this coming,” Alex mutters. “Two full songs is a lot of work, so they will rehearse as much as they can.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Moritz says, putting away his phone. “This isn’t even a professional production, they do this because they like it and they already are crazy prepared. They’ll do good!”

“I know that. And they just love theatre. I’m pretty sure they’d be fine with any result as long as they are on the musical,” Alex says. “But I hope they make most of it and get the parts! I don’t know how it is from where you come from, or if you even like musicals enough to know, but around here there aren’t that many professional musical productions. At least not legal ones. Musicals are expensive! This might be their only shot at playing these roles, and I know it would be important to them. Particularly to Eva.”

“Well, she is a fighter, so I don’t think you have to worry much there” Moritz says, patting him on the shoulder.

“Guess you are right,” he says, opening the door to the cafeteria.

“Of course I am. I know a lot about musicals: I thoroughly enjoyed Starlight Express,” Moritz says with a huge grin. Alex can only laugh at that.

They take their time to find a table, since Eva and Carlos are not there to do it as usual. Without someone to arrive early, finding a table at the cafeteria is basically a long winded and more complicated Duck, Duck, Goose game.

Moritz tells Alex he’ll look for a place while he buys lunch —since he has his at the ready— and after a very long line on Alex’s end, ten minutes more of walking around and Moritz basically throwing his body over a table, they are finally able to sit on one of the furthest reaches of the cafeteria.

“Those two are not allowed to bail on us ever again,” is all that Moritz says as they sit.

“Meh, more space for us,” Alex says, placing his food on the table. As he sits, he notices Moritz smiling pleasantly at him from the other side of the table and, it is then, that Alex realizes this is the first time they are alone at lunch, and that leaves him frozen.

As they start to eat, Alex feels the discomfort creep over his body at a steady rate. He has never been very talkative, but he’s also never had quiet lunch breaks. Usually Angela, Eva and Carlos move the conversation along and Alex just intervenes whenever he is asked to. He is not used at silent company unless it is his parents, and he wouldn’t rate that as pleasant company. He hadn’t noticed how different it is to have someone you don’t particularly know at the table! Sure, Moritz and him had their walks and all, but Alex is usually distracted by something else, here —sitting right in front of each other— the dynamic feels way more personal than Alex is willing to admit.

Alex starts to fidget, trying to find a conversation starter, but once more he just feels awkward and insincere. He keeps biting at his chicken tenders, in an attempt to at least keep his mouth busy and stop worrying, but he just keeps eyeing the man before him as he looks absentmindedly at the other side of the room. This is so awkward.

“How did you start theatre, Alex?” Moritz asks all of a sudden, and Alex takes it, anything to kill the silence.

“Angela asked me to audition with her in high school,” he says. “She said having a friend there would help her nerves.”

“That’s cool! How did you figure out you liked it?”

“I…” he had not thought of that. Did he like theatre? He had always liked musicals, but he had never planned to be on stage. “I guess? I auditioned. Luna and David wanted me in. Angela, Carlos and Eva were there. There was music. I like it enough, I guess.”

“Ok, that’s less impassioned than I imagined” Moritz says with a laugh.

“What did you expect? An ‘it is the love of my life and I want live on the stage’ type of deal?” Alex asks with a laugh.

“I kinda did! I mean, all of you are performers, and Carlos wants a career on theatre, you say Eva cares a whole lot about this role, Angela is up in New York studying dance, so… I kinda thought you’d be more intense about it,” Moritz says with a shrug.

“I just… I guess I just enjoy being with my people, as much as I can,” Alex says, playing with the fries on his plate. “Theatre gave me that and now it pays me, so I think that’s enough.”

“Just enough? Eva said you have taken every certification or class Luna has pointed you towards, I didn’t expect you to be this chill about it.”

“Eva exaggerates, I think if you enter any job or hobby it is natural to try and perfect your skills,” Alex mumbles. “Luna just pointed to classes that would help me be better for the musical so, I took them. And in the end it got me a job, so all is well.”

“Ok, but will you still do theatre after this?”

Alex stares at the German, mouth ajar. He doesn’t know what to answer. Will he continue with theatre?

“What is this, some student counseling moment?” he ends up saying. Moritz laughs at that and starts shaking his head while looking at him sweetly. He guesses correctly that Alex doesn’t know the answer to his question yet, so he decides to not push it. Alex is thankful for that.

They keep eating and just pointing out silly things about their classes (they are sure that Mrs. Sandoval will kill the next person who confuses cultural sociology with sociology of culture), and by the end of the meal both decide to go hangout at the pyramid on the hall of the Community Center to do homework while Alex waits for his next class. It is nice. They stay side to side, Alex writing an essay and Moritz finishing off a design he has to deliver for class tomorrow. It almost feels familiar to both of them, like they had been doing this for ages and not the first time.

Later as Alex is going, Moritz tells him he won’t be in class because he has a design to finish, so he asks him to please cover the notes for him. Alex agrees, says goodbye and off he goes. It is odd to him now, that odd comfort he is getting from Moritz from time to time when they barely know each other. Although he had to admit, most friendships start just like that.  

The rest of the day is a blur, both classes another litany of information that he is not quite sure he cares for, and taking notes for Moritz so that he doesn't fail, but there are little distractions for him now, and that means his brain has more time to think about things Alex definitely does not want to think.

He remembers his phone call with Eva, how Carlos speaks about his future career, and Angela's constant tirades about how she is going to make it and tell the stories she wished she had seen as a kid. then he comes back to what Moritz said, "I kinda thought you’d be more intense about it". He thinks so as well. Where is his passion? 

Alex has never questioned his relationship with theatre. He likes it good enough and he is sure he doesn't want to leave it right now, it is the place where he meets the people he loves, but if they leave... will there be a reason to stay in it? 

"I don't know," he says to himself, as he walks home. "I guess, I'll know when the time comes."