It had hurt when they died. Of course it did. But bolstering me through it, keeping me from giving up even when the Embers told me not to was the idea that they would come back. I had fought the battle expecting them to return, just like they had after I'd defeated the Dark Queen. It had never occurred to me that they might not when I won. It seemed like a cruel joke and I often woke up expecting, praying, hoping that it had been a nightmare.
Without them, I didn't know what to do.
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