“Kiss you. Can I?”
His voice even lower than the last response.
“Um, I-I’ve never kissed anyone, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Our foreheads were touching, and I couldn’t get myself to look him in his eyes. This was all new to me and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I could feel his eyes burning through me.
“Um but, if you don’t make fun of me, you can.”
He didn’t hesitate. Instantly his soft, warm lips were on mine. He felt experienced where I was clumsy and couldn’t focus on anything. I closed my eyes and heard his voice low and rough,
“Open your mouth.”
I followed his directions and I felt something smooth and hot in my mouth. His tongue, I felt even more clumsy fumbling around trying to keep his pace. His hand was on my jaw and his arm propping himself up on the wall. My hands that had been clenched in front of my chest were now around his neck.
“Don’t forget to breathe”
His voice was low and different. It was so hot. His hot tongue was back in my mouth as I inhaled, one hand on the back of my neck, the other had made its way to the small of my back. It was exhilarating and I didn’t want to stop.
But then, he stopped and whispered in my ear
“Open your door.”
Almost in a trance I turned, entered in the code on the pen pad opened the door, stepped inside, and looked behind me expecting him to follow me. But he didn’t take a step forward, instead he took a step back, his eyes burning into mine. They must be burning with desire,
“Are you… coming in?”
My voice sounded strange, and I felt something in the pit of my stomach. At the time I thought it was desire, but later I would realize it was a warning.
“No, I’m going to stay on this side of the door.”
His voice was still strange.
“Why...?”
I felt a little disappointed, I’d never done this before, so I didn’t know what came next,
“Did I do something wrong…?”
I felt anxious for his reply, I kept fiddling with my hands, I looked up at him and was shocked. He had concern in his eyes and his voice was back to normal when he spoke,
“You didn’t do anything wrong,”
His hand reached up and held my cheek,
“but if I stay here and you keep looking at me like that I’ll scare you. So, I’m going to go, and I’ll see you later.”
He was smiling and slowly pulled his hand from my face, he waved as he started to turn away from me.
“Wait!”
I just blurted out without even thinking and he stopped and looked at me,
“your number... What is it?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye again as I held my phone out for him. He chuckled and grabbed my phone, typed in a number and I heard his phone ring. When I looked up at him his thumb moved, his phone stopped ringing, and he handed me back my phone,
“Just in case you decide to ghost me. Don’t wait three days to get ahold of me.”
He smiled, handed me back my phone, left, and I shut my door. I was so embarrassed; I couldn’t believe that actually happened. I put my back to the door and slid down to the floor holding my chest. I could still feel his lips on mine and I lightly touched my lips,
“My first kiss and he walked away from me. It must’ve been horrible for him…”
I brought my knees up to my chest, rested my head on top of my knees, and felt a slight sting in my eyes.
“I’ll probably never hear from him again….”
I quickly pulled myself back together,
“It’s probably for the best.”
I stood up and plugged my phone into the charger, no notifications.
“I should get to sleep.”
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