A few days had passed since Isabeau and Ayleth’s plan had fallen a little flat... again. It didn’t exactly fail this time, but they had no contact with or even seen the Princess since she stormed out on them. Isabeau had set her concerns aside after that, telling Ayleth to contact her if things got out of this odd stalemate. If not, then they should spend some time apart, considering they were already walking on some thin ice.
Since the war meetings concluded early Isabeau was expected for lunch with her father and Williams family in the courtyard together. Everything had been moving so fast lately that she almost forgot the wedding preparations that needed to be made for when they returned to the manor. Well, she did forget for the most part. Her father had kept his watchful eye to himself these days, always preoccupied with something else, and William was just always there with banter, nothing more.
Nonetheless Isabeau got all dressed up, it wasn’t a formal occasion but her father told her to ‘dress eloquently’. She waited for her servant to finish straightening her hair with the iron comb, already dressed in pink silk over a voluptuous amount of fluff underneath and adorned with silver earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. Normally her father insists on gold but the servant suggested that silver matched her pink and white outfit more.
Once the servant finished and styled her hair Isabeau thanked her, making her way to William’s room so they could go to the courtyard together. They had to at least act like they liked one another, well William did like her, but Isabeau didn’t quite reciprocate those feelings. She knocked on his door three times and waited for him to answer.
William answered the door looking quite disheveled, she could only see his head peeking out . “Isabeau,” He smiled but spoke breathlessly, “Just one moment.” He disappeared behind the door before Isabeau could respond.
After a minute he opened the door, dressed in a light blue jacket cover over dark underclothes. He smiled brightly at Isabeau and offered his arm, “Shall we?”
Isabeau wanted to roll her eyes but complacently took his arm, today was the day she would behave and fall back into her duty. Also meaning, today wouldn’t be very fun for Isabeau.
As they made their way down the hall it was apparent that William was… oddly silent, not that Isabeau cared. If anything she should be jumping for joy, but it didn’t feel right, and she did say she would follow her duty today….
“Are you okay?” William looked over at her with a dubious expression.
“Me,” He laughed, “I’m fine. What, I don’t shoot off at the tongue so I’m presumably sad?” William laughed a little harder, causing Isabeau to turn red with embarrassment for her faulty concern.
“Well I’m sorry for expressing my concerns, next time I’ll just ignore you,” Isabeau dropped her arm out of his grasp and crossed hers across her chest protectively.
“No, I’m sorry,” He admitted, “it’s just the stress of wedding preparations. It’s hard planning all that out whilst learning how to be a Lord and trending the war council meetings with our fathers. I’m simply tired of talking so much.” William, tired of talking, Isabeau felt like she was in a parallel universe.
“I… Didn’t know you were doing all the wedding preparations yourself…” Isabeau felt a twinge of guilt, truth be told she often put any thoughts of marriage out of her mind. She never even planned on making any connection with him, including wedding planning.
Like the good person he is, William just waved his hand as if he didn't mind it. “It’s fine, the wedding wasn’t much of a choice for you.”
“For you either,” Isabeau pointed out.
“It’s something I’d accepted long before the endowment.”
“I did the same.”
William sighed, “I know I shouldn’t speak like this but… if you want we can call it quits a little while after the wedding. With divorce being legalized now and all.”
Isabeau was shocked at the offer, it was weird. “That won’t work, you’d become a shameful Lord despite the new laws and I would be regarded as trash,” She paused, realizing she sounded harsh, “I don’t mean to sound rude, the gesture was nice though?”
William nodded before they fell into an awkward silence for the rest of the walk. Isabeau couldn’t help but wonder what was up with the offer, she thought William had been excited for their endowment, eager to build a relationship with his bride. Now it seemed like he didn’t like the idea of their marriage at all, especially with that drastic offer. Just another confusing subject to be added to the pile of things Isabeau would figure out later, right beside the Princess.
Once they reached the courtyard Isabeau was able to spot their parents sitting at one of the tables in a clearing, small finger sandwiches sat on a large platter that hadn’t been touched. They made their way over, sitting opposite to their parents who had dropped whatever they were conversing once the two of them were in earshot.
Williams' parents smiled, his mother speaking up first, “Oh how fitting to see you two love birds come together.” Isabeau put on a fake smile, feeling her father's eyes burn a hole in her head. Must be making up for the weeks of minimal attention.
“Oh, stop,” William waved his hand as if he was swatting away a fly, “we just ran into one another on the way. What were you discussing before we arrived?”
His father chirped in this time, “Just some political white noise, sure you Ladies would be much more interested in discussing wedding plans or something of that area.” Isabeau was just annoyed with the blatant sexism, at least some people make it a bit more discreet.
“Yes,” Her own father said this time, straightening up in his seat, “any specific excitements, Isabeau?”
Ugh, Isabeau thought, but spoke up nonetheless, “Well, there is just so much to look forward to once we return,” She looked at William fondly, securing the act, “I cannot wait to finally be in the peace of our lands with family and friends.”
“Well said,” William reaches for her hand on the table, Isabeau takes his in hers. Williams mother is ecstatic, their fathers have that impressed fatherly expression planted on their faces.
“Yes yes, well I hope you’re prepared,” Williams father nodded towards William, “you will be inheriting lands in a time that may soon become enveloped in war. As long as you have been keeping up in your lessons and following along at the meetings you should be perfectly acquitted.”
“Oh Alder,” William’s mother chided, “this is a time for at least a little joy, we are planning a wedding!”
Isabeau’s father found this the perfect opportunity to step in, “He does hold some truth in his sentiment though, Alder and I can only negotiate and set the stakes in such a balance that must be maintained when power is transferred.”
William sighed, “It seems all we do is talk of this, as you said I am sure Isabeau or mother would much rather discuss where we shall order the gowns from, and who would tailor them.”
“Ah, I suppose you are right,” Isabeau’s father conceded, but he didn’t seem satisfied from dropping the talk, like he wanted to berate his politics further into William. If he couldn’t secure his legacy in a son, WIlliam was Isabeau’s father's next best bet.
“I had a fantastic gown for my wedding, though it was quite a while ago,” William’s mother’s face was thinking curiously, “I guess us Ladies must have to look through some catalogs of drawings and ask others.” She raised her eyebrows at Isabeau.
“I guess so.”
They talked like that for the next hour, switching from color schemes to cake flavors to the church venue. No one touched the mini sandwiches, which now had a few bugs buzzing around them. Isabeau was fatigued by the time Williams motherhood finished debating over William’s favorite strawberry cake or a neutral vanilla the guest would all like. Their fathers whispered a few things throughout the time but Isabeau, William, and William’s mother were all too occupied to hear what they’d said.
Once the men were called into a meeting before supper they all departed, William exempt since only current councilmen Lords were able to attend. William’s mother headed off to have tea with some of the other Ladies, and gossip, but William stopped Isabeau before she trekked to the library.
“Isabeau,” He said, catching her wrist, “wait a minute.” Isabeau cast him an impatient glance, he had to know she was growing tired of the act and needed a break before she would shut down. So he hurried on to talk, “I was wondering if we could… talk?”
“What do you mean?” Isabeau asked, wondering if the fake flirting had gone to his head. He had to know by now that she was utterly and completely uninterested. Unless he was thick.
“I just,” William nervously looked around, “let’s talk somewhere a little more private, okay?” Isabeau would be lying if she didn’t admit her curiosity, but she wasn’t sure if she should follow.
“Why?”
“Please,” William pleaded. Isabeau was shocked with his expression, a mix of tired, sad, and anxious; nothing like the William she’d seen for the past few weeks.
“Okay.”
------------------------
The church was empty when William and Isabeau arrived, the father absent. William sat in a pew at the front, motioning for Isabeau to sit beside him, when Isabeau stayed still, her eyes narrowed, William spoke.
“I have no ill intentions Isabeau,” William wore that same sad look, but it looked the same as Isabeau when she was tired of playing her part, a vulnerability that often stayed hidden beneath the vibrant rays of William’s happiness. Isabeau took a seat, knowing it was nothing of the sorts she was imagining earlier, it was something serious.
“Continue,” Isabeau encouraged, not rudely, just sharing that strength that held her up when she was low with William, a strong force to confide in.
“I never wanted to bring this up with you, I intended to dismiss it and leave it unaddressed. I thought-” William choked on his words, taking a second to regain his composure, “I thought it would be fine but seeing everything tonight, you have a right to know. I… was diagnosed with homosexual tendencies at a young age.” William paused, looking down at the floor in shame. The only thing Isabeau felt was shock, genuinely, that wasn’t the confession she was anticipating. But her mind lingered on his last few words ‘diagnosed’, like it was some disease.
William took her silence as discontent and continued, “My parents found out one way or another and enlisted me in reformative teachings in private with our local church. Everything about it was wrong, everything I felt and did was wrong; they tried to help me correct it.” William paused to look over at Isabeau, to gauge her reaction, but there was nothing to gauge. Isabeau sat emotionless, intently listening to his story.
“It must sound abrupt for me to bring this up so suddenly,” William chuckled nervously, “it’s just with wedding plans I was told to inform you of this eventually, at least by the wedding night. I felt disgusted with myself for not sharing this so… I wanted to tell you as soon as I could. We also only have to keep up this act for the public eye, once things settle and we find some way to atleast have an heir you can have a side lover if you wish, someone that can deliver the things I cannot.”
Isabeau set her hand on William’s hand that currently clenched the benches, offering any kind of support she could, “It’s okay, it’s okay, I don’t care,” She chided, watching him nod away the tears that threatened to spill down his pale cheeks.
“I’m not going to say that I’m ashamed, because I’m not. Some part of me deep down knows I’m right, understands what I feel isn’t wrong. I am just so sorry for having to bring you into this, for… not being the best person I could be for you.”
Isabeau inhaled, “You cannot say that. I am like you in a way,” William’s eyebrows skyrocketed, “not like that, just, I have had and will always have no intention to open up to you, in any way shape or form. I will do what needs to be done but nothing beyond what duty calls for. We both can just keep up our halves of the duty, it will be okay.” William didn’t look too convinced but nodded nonetheless, finally taking hold of Isabeau’s hand, of the only gesture of strength she could provide.
Isabeau learned it from her mother, whenever food was especially scarce or they didn’t know if they had a place to stay those years they spent on the streets; Isabeau’s mom held her hand not letting either of them falter under the duress, only helping one another stand strong.
They sat like that for a minute until a few servants entered, heading to the altar to pray. Isabeau gave William’s hand a small squeeze before getting up and heading off to her room to nap, tired from how much she’d expelled from herself that day. Not ready to wake up and do it again the next.
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