Do God and Satan ever collaborate on anything or are they completely separate? Has God attempted to get Satan to change his ways directly?

Do lower angels get jealous of angels higher in power, and if they do, is that considered bad?

Do demons and angels have a wider range of emotions than humans? As in, do they feel things that we can't, and if so, do they have names for these feelings? Or do angels and demons have LESS feelings than humans? Whatever feelings they have, do they feel them with a higher or lower level of intensity than humans? Basically, how do human emotions differ to angel's and demon's emotions, and how do angel's emotions differ from demon's? Are there any demons and angels that don't mind each other or is the dedication to each of their causes too big of a rift to be surpassed? If it can be surpassed, is it frowned upon by God or Satan if it occurs, and if so, is there a punishment?

Does Satan have set rules for his demons, with punishments in place or are they left to their chaos? Or, since I'm tied by the boundaries of human concepts, do they differ from us in the fact that they don't have the capability to stray from their cause? Is their dedication absolute? I would assume not, since angels fell in the first place from their dedication to God. Or do angels become different entities entirely when fallen? Is there a huge difference caused by falling from heaven? If so, what exactly does it all affect? Powers? Species? Feelings? Dedication? Personality? Obedience? Beliefs?

When angels fall to earth or wherever they fall, does it hurt physically?

Can demons and angels be physically hurt by each other or humans? Or is it a power struggle?

Just how big a part do humans play in the way of the war? If you think about it, we're the main cause and focus of everything. God loves us and wants us to be with Him, Satan wants us all damned to hell in order to oppose or hurt God. We're pretty important, the bargaining chip, really. We're wanted for different reasons by both sides…

What causes a human to decide whether to follow God or Satan? Is it circumstance? Personality? Family? Spiritual influence? Whichever side gets through to them first? Or does it have to do with us as ourselves, what we want? Do we choose, or are we chosen? Also, note, there are so many religions… So much deceitfulness in each one, does Satan do this for fun, or is he adjusting things to what will best manipulate each of us to his side? Is the manipulation necessary or is it for fun? And do I know more truth than others, or am I being majorly manipulated? I feel as if, due to my family, I have been given the privilege of seeing a lot more of the truth of things than, say, Wiccans, who believe magick is good for some reason. It's evil. It's of Satan. There is no 'white magic' or 'black magic', it's magic, and it's all evil.

I guess I'm pretty fortunate to know a bit more of the truth and STILL have the option of choosing good or evil. So unfortunate is my choice… Dad said once that if I turned to God, I could be a great man. But the opposite could be true as well, I have turned to Satan and still have the potential to be great; the 'great' in this situation is just decided by who reads this, and who is being followed (God or Satan or other) by that person. I think I can do 'great' things for Satan. It's just that that 'great' is debatable by different perspectives… Therefore, (for example) if you ignore the Bible and turn to human affairs individually, good and evil are as beheld by the beholder. Which is a very big factor in a lot of lies, tricks, manipulation, and deceit. It's kind of like a sword. A sword itself is not evil, it is only a tool. It's 'good' or 'evil' value is decided by how its wielder uses it. Me, personally, I believe every word of the Bible is true, so there are definitely clear boundaries on good and evil in most cases. But, still, many people can be deceived by the option of choosing to believe something is good or evil, as if it isn't already set in stone by God in the Bible. You can ignore a lot of things by not paying attention to the Bible… Just realized the truth of that… But, then again, how much of the Bible is mistranslated by ignorant humans? How much can we solidly understand if the Bible has been accidentally, or purposefully, changed by human writers? How much faith can you put in the Bible if some of it could possibly have been altered? Due to the old language used within, it would already be easy to misunderstand things yourself, and then the translators could have also gone and messed up the true meaning due to the lack of understanding of the old language used within, plus these people are surely writers, and writing is incredibly detailed… You use certain words and phrases and stories to get your point across or to cause emotion or to help the reader understand what you're trying to convey. So put all this together: The words and phrases put in by the writer to get something across being accidentally changed by the translator switching to a different language, plus the big language change from back then and now, plus petty human mistakes, PLUS the fact that the Bible is translated from language to language to language to language, how much of the Bible can we confidently say we understand without a doubt? Humans are clumsy, language style changes, writers use certain words to get their point across but that can be altered by translations, so the Bible pretty much has the possibility to be an absolute mess to people who don't read it in the original language, and even then, there are so many copies that have been made, there's bound to STILL be differences from the original one written, it's been thousands of years, things gradually change whether they're meant to be changed or not… The Bible can be pretty misunderstood. And falsified. Especially by those oh so special people who pick out very certain verses and base all their beliefs on only those instead of reading the whole thing, I've been tricked by that before when I illusioned myself with the belief I'm meant to be Christian… So the point is, the Bibles out there today aren't completely trustworthy, at least most versions and there are so many it's impossible to tell which one is the most true, so clumsy human hands have most likely botched some points in the Bible. Then there's church. Church… A bunch of people being brainwashed to believe a certain version of things. The church body listens to the preacher's interpretation of Bible verses that HE picked out himself and believes it without question, not reading the Bible for themselves to even TRY and confirm that what's being preached could possibly be the truth as written, they are basically blind, and listening to some person on a podium manipulating them to believe their interpretation of the few verses they personally picked out. Church is like a body, literally, the head is in control of everything and the rest just follows automatically and trustingly, dumbly, humanly. Like a herd of stupid sheep, not thinking for themselves. All this shows just how brave Satan is in his opposition to God; getting right up in the heat of things to manipulate us useless humans. Infiltrating the church itself and subtly manipulating the members' minds while making them think that nothing of the sort is going on takes skillllls. And there's the fact that most church goers think about God and his glory for a couple of hours every Sunday, and only Sunday, and on top of that, Sunday isn't even the real holy day designated by God, the Catholics (another example of Satan's subtle infiltration into direct 'christian' affairs) changed it from Saturday to Sunday, causing another sheeplike interaction to take place as everyone followed suit, blindly ignoring the fact that God's holy day is Saturday, the Sabbath, and chose to follow the Catholic's decision to celebrate church on Sunday until it became so normal that not a lot of people know the original holy day is Saturday, and they're so brainwashed they won't believe it when pointed out either. So, in addition to blindly following one HUMAN preacher's words and beliefs, most churches don't even celebrate on the correct day designated by God, so, hello, by going to church on Sunday you're technically defying God anyway, and only to think about his holiness for a couple of hours then forget everything and go commit some sins. Go figure. Satan is very involved, or at least his forces are. It's amazing how blind us humans can be. Satan has a hand in even the churches, he truly is the prince of the world, as said in the Bible, but I guess let's not forget that when I talk about stuff that came out of the Bible, I'm kind of contradicting myself because I literally just explained how wrong the Bibles we read can be. Everything ends up being a big tangled ball of confusion with no end or solid answer in sight, which is where faith comes in of course. Faith that God will deliver the truth, and I know this takes place because I grew up in a family where I saw it in action, my father's discernment of the truth is almost scary it's so correct, and God even provides him with proof to back up his calculations.

And, finally, Nikolai's conclusion:

I'll stop here, I got carried away.

This is my confession. This is a small part of my wickedness, my truths, my beliefs, some of the questions I hold in my heart, and some ranting that I just happened to get into. Maybe by reading, you can understand me a little better. Maybe some of these things will adequately explain some things I've done or said in the past, though I can't remember. I don't know if I should send this, what will become of it, but I feel the obligation to tell you something truthful for once, I'm not sure why it hit me suddenly, so don't ask. I don't like promises these days because they're often broken, but I promise you every word is true, and most of it has never been admitted out loud or in writing, and most likely never will be again. I don't know if I'll ever be this truthful again. I feel like my heart is wrenching as I prepare to send this, although you already know that I'm wicked, it's another thing to admit it so extensively. I imagine your disgust at reading that I actively PLAN on being evil, even if the disgust doesn't exist. I'm not sure what your reaction will be, whether you'll believe all this, or take it with a grain of salt, or if you knew it all along, I can't imagine your reaction and my feelings are so complicated about this that I don't even know how I would WANT you to react. I do hope you respond with something, although I understand if you don't. These things I feel I should have said a long time ago, after all. And certainly, they shouldn't even apply to somebody in the first place. But I've learned a lot about myself by finally admitting it, even just as text. (Also, on an unrelated note, while it's on my mind and since I'm telling you what's going on, I also smoke.) Please respond with something. I'm not going to expect any certain response (you taught me that, Mom) but I still have hope that you respond with something, anything. While I'm putting my thoughts down, I'm going to tell you that I'm not really sure why I sent you that last bit, the whole passage about the Bible and church. I guess I'm sending it because even though I don't see a clear reason, if it helps open your eyes in any way to the way I've acted, things I've said or things I've done, gives an explanation of anything about me, it's worth sending. As far as all those questions above, I'm obviously not looking for answers from you, those are just the questions in my mind that I haven't voiced, and again, I'll send them solely for the purpose of them possibly opening your eyes to any part of me. I've read over all of this, and found that I can't really pick apart my words or anything, but since you're my family, who I lived with for years, and you remember things about me that I have blocked off from myself, I figured you might get more out of it than I could pick. I hope this is eye opening, and I accept any change between us that comes as a cause of this message. Thank you for reading, please show this to Dad as well, I would like him to read it. There are other things I feel like I should say, to tell the truth about, but I don't have the energy or capability of anything more right now, and I honestly can't guarantee that I ever will. I love you guys, I await a response. 👋

This marks the end of Nikolai Azrail's reply. This also marks the beginning of his destiny. Keep in mind, he knew even at the time, he contradicted himself a lot in this messy piece of writing. But he didn't think at the time, just wrote. Some of the information here is wrong, although he didn't know it then.

     Now for a little background on Nikolai Azrail. He has something called memory block. He can't remember almost anything from his childhood. His memories often slip away as soon as they're made. Every now and then, he'll remember something from his past. But he'll forget it again almost immediately. He suspects something incredibly bad happened when he was very young to make him this way, and by 'this way', I mean some of the things you've seen above and more. As you've also seen, he believes he is completely and totally evil. I will now begin to tell you of his journey to find himself and the truth in this tangled up world.