“Can you read, Canelle?” Liorit found her in the kitchen one late evening. 

The young maid scrubbed at some pans, a task she talked herself into after mouthing off  to one of the cooks earlier. “I tried teaching myself once, and I didn’t get very far. For one, I don’t own books... Why do you ask?” 

With the woman looming over her, the light fixture behind her made her more imposing. 

She hadn’t spoken to Liorit since the long holiday. Spoken, as in held a conversation. Their everyday interactions were typical, terse and pointed. It didn't bother Canelle anymore, as Liorit’s presence no longer instilled fear within her. They were nearly associates.

She often wondered who shared the greater risk, Lior or Canelle as nobody. Undeniably, no one cared about the servant enough to ever pry. Lior was in the constant spotlight, although the argument could be made that she was in a place, or rather her father was in a place, where he could protect her. This had to be the arrangement in place, considering her blatant disregard of the law.

But who knew how far that protection extended… and if Lior had picked up on Canelle’s queerness, there was always the chance others could. 

“His Highness wants to go to Dofev. Which in turn means I’m going to Dofev and I will need a squire.” 

She put down the metal scrubber and used the back of her forearm to wipe her gross sweat from her forehead. If Liorit was trying to imply that Canelle should take that role, the woman had lost her mind. 

Squires cleaned the court guard’s armor, which Liorit never wore. They cared for their horses, Canelle didn't know where they were even housed. They also helped with tournaments, which again, Liorit never participated in. In fact, the young woman was under the impression that Lior’s position in the guard was a formality. There was hardly a need for a squire, unless that was a formality as well. 

Lior had to be messing with her, which was frankly rude. Canelle got snarky.  “Why me though? You couldn’t find anyone that could tolerate you?” 

That earned her a light smack on the head. 

Irritated, Lior crossed her arms. “You were expressing laments about wanting to travel the other night, were you not?” 

She didn’t remember expressing such laments to her employer, and her confusion must have been written all over her face because Liorit elaborated, “I overheard you talking to the cook's daughter when I had you fetch my coat the other night.” 

The maid wondered how much of the conversation she heard, as she distinctly remembered shit-talking Lior for the first half.  “Yes... I do wish to travel one day, but I don’t want to die either, why Dofev? Are women allowed to be squires?”  While she was positive that the idea was impractical, her heart fluttered at the thought of it. 

Going outside the walls could end in disappointment, there was no absolute promise of adventure…

At times, Lior spoke to her in the way a mother would a child. At other times as if she were mocking Canelle. This time it was a mix of both, and twice as annoying.

“You’re overthinking it. We’re accompanying Valkom to Dofev with his… friend. He’s visiting her family, so at most we follow them around the city. Call it whatever you want, squire, assistant—if you can read—secretary.”

Canelle noticed that she said ‘friend’ and not ‘wife’. Meaning that Prince Valkom, a few weeks after getting married, had already found another mistress. How like him. 

She pressed her lips together and scrunched her nose, wondering if she really could just leave Gaidos. “What if I can’t read?” 

“I have books, I’ll fucking teach you to read,” Liorit snapped. 

Only then did it occur to her that Lior was serious. Dare she assume that Liorit found comfort in having her, a confidant, around?

Canelle was by no means a great maid. To say that Liorit expected greatness from her, would be mocking the woman’s intelligence. Undeniably, the noblewoman wanted her around so she could continue to organize her affairs full-time and on the road. 

Did Canelle care? Truthfully, no, as long as someone got her the hell out of Gaidos, she couldn't care less about how it happened.

“When would we leave? Is there time for me to learn to read?” 

She thought about her previous attempts at reading, and what thwarted them: herself. But… she wasn’t beyond help. She had a quick mouth and a sharp tongue that often got her into trouble, but always knew exactly how far to push it. To the tipping point, never beyond, and never enough for anyone to consider serious ramifications. 

Despite thinking herself somewhat capable, Canelle acknowledged that her eyes had the habit of swapping certain letters and numbers around. Her own frustration at herself kept from making noteworthy strides, and given their conversations so far, Lior didn’t strike her as a patient person.

Still… she thought Canelle was worth the effort, and how many people could say the same. 

Lior let out a hard laugh at the question.“You overestimate the speed at which things are organized around here.” For the younger woman’s sake, she elaborated, “The staff at Gaidos could plan a party with its eyes closed, and one arm tied behind their back, but the second you ask them to do anything outside spending the crown’s money you’re in it for the long haul.” 

Canelle thought the comment was rather specific for a hypothetical situation. This was information she didn’t know what to do with however, and shrug-nodded in response. 

Liorit’s grin faltered, as she remembered that Canelle wasn’t a friend, and that their relationship was a professional one.“Alright, we’ll work around your schedule.” 

She proceeded to make her usual exit, where she offered no other details or explanations to her erratic requests.