I watched as Hayden flipped through the shirts upon the clothes rack - eyebrows knit together in concentration as the pale pink of her tongue appeared from between her parted lips.

The woman I was beginning to get to know once again was proving to be nothing short of a dichotomy.

Like a mother she ordered me around - continually focusing my attention back towards the task at hand even as I struggled with picking out clothes for myself. After years of having worn a uniform or fatigues the prospect of choice was still foreign to me. Yet it was hints of the girl she had once been that charmed me. It appeared with a small smile, a slight blush, as her eyes shone brightly.

"What about this one?" She asked, holding out a sweater for me.

"And here I was thinking they didn't make hot pink sweaters in my size." I replied, smirking at her joke.

"You never know unless you look," She began as she placed it back on the rack. "Might just be your color."

"Let's just stick with the darker colors for now." I drawled.

"Such a party pooper." She whispered softly, eyes shifting towards me to make sure I had heard.

With a roll of my eyes, dramatic at that, I turned back towards the clothes rack. For the umpteenth time I tried to will myself to actually look - to just pick.

Why was this so hard?

"What was it like?" Hayden asked, waiting until my gaze swung back towards her. "In the army, I mean."

I chuckled softly as I idly flipped through the shirts upon the rack - none of them catching my fancy.

"If I never hear Fortunate Son ever again it will be too soon."

Her grin lit up her features in a blinding radiance, eyes squinting. "That bad, eh?"

Nodding. "That and War Pigs."

Her grin faded, growing serious. "I mean it. What was it like?"

She continued as her eyes turned downcast. "Dalton wrote often. A lot even. Yet he didn't speak much about it. Rarely ever. He kind of always kept the focus on us. What we were doing. What we were up to."

"He did that to protect you." I answered honestly, solemnly.

Her eyebrow quirked up, frowning. "How so?"

"He didn't want you to know the shit hole we were living in." I began, continuing before she had a chance to respond. "I would equate it to being in hell, but that wouldn't be a fair comparison. There are no innocents in hell. In war there are too often no one but innocents... Granted, none of us remained innocent for that long."

"Oh..."

"Your brother was compartmentalizing. He didn't want his worlds to merge - to blend. All of us did it. Some more than others..."

"And you?"

I could feel the warmth radiating from Hayden as she stepped towards me - her eyes softening as she gazed up at me.

The way her eyes tore through me - the way they made me feel left bare, vulnerable - had me turning away. It was as if she were able to see through me, to sift through the thoughts and emotions I would never convey.

"I created a Pandora's box within myself." I answered honestly even as I questioned why I felt obligated to bare myself further to her.

It was as if I was picking at a scab - one that would leave a nerve exposed.

Nothing ever good came of opening oneself up. Just a second wave of pain.

"Gray..."

Ignoring her, I asked. "So when did you become religious?" Plucking at her university sweater in emphasis, the front emblazoned with 'Redeemer'.

As her eyes glanced downwards, a light dusting of pink across her cheeks returned.

"I have a confession."

"Oh?"

"I'm not religious. At all."

I whistled softly, eyes widening in feigned surprise. "I'm telling dad." I whispered, pointing upwards.

"Oh, stop it."

"So why Redeemer than?"

Hayden offered a shrug as she moved past me, her attention focusing on the clothes rack I had just been perusing without any success.

"They offered me a scholarship for soccer. That along with being close to my family... I just guess it felt like the best fit."

"And are you happy there?" I asked.

"What about this one?" She asked, holding out a long sleeve shirt - the sleeves maroon while the rest consisted of a midnight black. "And yeah, I think so. I've made a lot of friends and only have two years left."

"I don't think that will fit me," I eyed it dubiously.

"Well I'm sure they have it in a bigger size, silly." She sighed with exasperation, her smile quick to chase her words.

Holding my hands up, relenting, "Do they have a double XL or even a triple?"

The concentrated look returned once more, tongue emerging, as she began her hunt.

"What program are you in?"

Not bothering to look at me, she answered. "Psychology."

I felt my eyes narrow, "Are you profiling me right now?" I asked suspiciously, though my smirk gave away my jest.

"I'm sensing a lot of sexual confusion coming from you." She joked back, her grin unrepentant.

"That's not fair," I was quick to answer, defensively. Crossing my arms across my chest, rocking back on my heels slightly, I continued. "I was in the army. We've all seen penises we weren't supposed to see."

My shudder was rewarded with a laugh - pale eyes shining with merriment.

"Remember that movie with the alien snails or whatever. Slither, I think?"

She nodded, "What about it?"

"Remember the scene where the woman was taking a bath, and the thingies started slithering across the floor towards her?"

Hayden nodded once more, though her eyebrows were beginning to knit together - wondering where I was going with this story, I imagined.

"Well, in my nightmares I'm the one in the tub - and it's all the penises I've been forced to see that are slithering across the bathroom floor towards me." I confessed, struggling to keep my face straight even as I felt my lips begin to tick up in a smirk.

Her laughter was like the sweetest melody, "You are such a weirdo."

Handing out a shirt towards me, she nodded. "Here, try this one on. It's a triple XL."

"Where are the fitting rooms?" I asked as I took the hanger from her, eyes scanning across the store.

"Just do it here,"

I turned back towards Hayden, quirking an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"No one else is here but the sales people. Plus it's not like you're getting naked." She reasoned. A grin formed, the mischievous glint of her eyes setting the hair on the nape of my neck to standing. "Unless you are a scaredy cat?" She challenged.

"Fine," I answered, holding the shirt back out for her to take. "Hold this for a second."

With a harrumph I grabbed the hem of my sweater and shirt in one - my eyes never leaving her own as I peeled it off.

I knew I had made a mistake the second I heard Hayden gasp loudly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in shock.

I followed her gaze, glancing down across my chest.

The sight of my scars, the paleness of the raised flesh standing out against my tanned skin, made me suddenly feel self conscious.

I felt tarnished.

I was that of a teacup that had once shattered yet had been glued back together.

"Jesus Christ, Gray." Hayden whispered softly, stepping towards me. The hanger she had been holding fell to the floor, forgotten the moment she deftly stepped over it.

I flinched imperceptibly as she raised her hands towards my chest. Her fingers were cold, the pads of which traced along the long jagged scar that ran from just below my right collar bone to nearly my left hip. Her mouth opened slightly, lips moving with silent words.

Her eyes turned up towards me, understanding in their depths.

She knew as much as I did that it had been a mortal wound. The steel fragments of the Humvee cast off by the IED explosion had shredded me.

I had been Humpty Dumpty.

Yet miraculously I had been able to be put back together again.

Her dainty fingers moved across my waist, tracing the two puckered scars that sat just below my navel.

"I got clipped by two 7.62 rounds that had managed to catch me right under my kevlar vest." I answered her unspoken question.

Her laugh was humorless - voice hiccuping. "You do realize you're supposed to dodge bullets, silly."

"They barely grazed me." I tried to joke.

Storm clouds appeared within the depths of her eyes - pale green irises growing flinty, nearly black.

The thunder clapped, hammer falling, as she practically shrieked at me. "You got shot in the middle of your fucking body, Mister! Don't try and joke about them barely hitting you!"

---

"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier."

I glanced down at Hayden out of the corner of my eye - her chestnut hair hiding her face from view.

The desire to reach out towards her; to tuck her hair behind her ears so I might revel in her beauty took me by surprise.

"As you should." I finally answered, squinting against the midday sun.

The threat of rain had passed - the strong winds blowing away the ominous gray clouds to reveal a startling beautiful blue sky.

I was appreciative of Hayden's company as I walked her home - the clothes she had picked out for me were a weight in my hand as I held the bag. With frowns and narrowed eyes she had ordered me around - hands upon my back shoving me lightly as she directed me to and fro. With an uncanny ability ingrained in all women it seemed, she had quickly picked out an assortment of clothes for me with no small measure of satisfaction. Her smile never ceasing to abate - blinding in its radiance.

The messy tendrils of her chestnut hair parted slightly - green eyes glaring up at me in indignation.

"Oh?" She pouted, as if she expected me to to apologize for her having to apologize.

Wrong even when they are the one who's wrong.

"Felt as if I was at Basic all over again," I chuckled, enjoying her cute frown. "I thought you were going to make me run a mile for a moment."

"As if you would get off that easy, Mister." She replied, her eyes now teasing.

"Such a bossy boss."

"And don't you forget it."

"As if you'll let me." I muttered softly, though my grin mirrored her own.

"What do you have planned for this weekend?"

"Hmm," I mumbled, "I suppose I should look for a job. A place to live too."

"True," Hayden replied, a mischievous smile emerging. "You are a little old to be living with your mom still."

"Excuse me, young lady. I do not live with my mom - my mom lives with me."

She threw up her hands in mock surrender, her grin never once fading. "Well my apologies."

"Just don't let it happen again."

"Do you know what you'll want to do for work?" Hayden asked. "Maybe a police officer?"

I shook my head no. "I'm not trading my rifle for a pistol."

"What then?"

"I really don't know..." I answered.

The truth was that I had no idea what I was supposed to do now that I was out of the army. Perhaps subconsciously I had always assumed that I would have never made it out - that I would have died under some foreign sun.

But now that I hadn't I was adrift.

"I completed my NASM CPT and CNC certifications while I was bedridden last year. Maybe I'll look for a job in a gym." I offered, wishing to dispel the frown upon Hayden's face.

"I think you would make a great personal trainer." She replied sincerely.

Her confidence filled me with pride.

"My house is right here," Hayden directed with a point of a dainty finger - as if I had forgotten.

The house was in similar design to my own, the only difference being that their backyard held an expansive pool.

I led her up the driveway, my pace slowing as I was loathe for the time spent with her to draw to an end.

As we came to a stop on her porch, she turned towards me.

The silence stretched on between us as I watched her wrestle internally - her gaze swinging to and fro as white teeth appeared to nibble on her bottom lip.

It was a gesture I was beginning to adore.

"Would we be able to talk about Dalton sometime?" Hayden finally asked, hopefully. The girl within her emerged once more with her simple question - hesitant, pleading. "When you are ready, of course." She added, her words a rush.

Reaching out, I rubbed her shoulder softly as I smiled. "I would like that a lot, Hayden."

I was rewarded once more with a blinding smile - one that rivaled that of the sun itself.

I wanted to groan as she wrapped her arms around me - the feel of her body melting against my own as my arms came up to encircle her, the shopping bags bumping against her hip.

Her scent washed over me - lulling me.

"Welcome home, Gray." She whispered softly, her arms tightening further.