I stared at him for a good moment.

“Marcus. The kid I was talking to, his mom is a real bad drug addict. Two years ago, he called us because she overdosed on heroin. I arrived and I heard him crying and screaming for the medics to save her. When I walked through the door he took one look at me and charged at me. He punched me square in the jaw, he was 15 at the time,” Chelf’s eyes went wide. “Yea I know. He started screaming at me, ‘White cops killed my dad, you will kill her too. Stay the fuck out!’”

“What did you do?”

“What I hope any officer would do. Stepped back outside. I was not about to put him in a position that would make him scared. However, Marcus came back out and sat down on the porch after being asked a lot of questions. The ambulance would not let him ride with her to the hospital. I guess it was because he is a minor. I walked over to him and looked at him, and said, ‘Son. Your left hook is good and all but if you wanna make it in this world you can't be so angry’.” I chuckled a bit, “Of course that almost got me another smack in the jaw, but I was able to catch it and hold his arm in my hand. I looked him square in the eyes and continued. ‘I do not know what happened to your dad. And I am so sorry for you feeling like you can't feel safe around me. I did not sign up for this job to make you uncomfortable. I wanted this job because I want to make a change. I see you. I see your struggle with your skin color. But son, what you just did. Punching a police officer will land you in jail. If you punch the wrong one, maybe even shot. Being angry will do nothing but hurt you even more. I do not understand what you go through. I do not understand some of the challenges you face. But understand I stand with you. Because i'm tired of white people's shit too’.”

I met Chefs eyes for a moment and looked away. “I then told him to get in the cop car. This kid thought I was arresting him.” I started laughing. “But I was just taking him to his mother. Ever since then we slowly bonded. I would check in with him, play ball with him and his friends. Recently, I found a tutor who would help them. They would meet there at the basketball court and go over the material. It needed to be at a place the kids felt the safest. It took a while, but he finally opened up to me. But it took some time. He is an extraordinary kid. I just wish he could see it too.”

“You know, you have a cute laugh.”

Wait what?

I glanced at him and he burst out laughing, “Dude, you know, you have this ice cold demeanor. I bet it's all a mask to keep people at bay. If you talked to people the way you just did about Marcus and the others, many people would find you tolerable.”

I shrug, “Not my problem to get close to people. Do not really want to.”

“Then why get close to the kids if you don't want to be attached to someone?”

“I want them to make more in life than what it has offered so far. Just because I help doesn't mean I am best friends with them. I care about them as any person should.”

He sighs, “No. You actually care about them regardless of being any other person. And that is inspiring. You really are a good person. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

I glance out at the road. “Well, it's not that I am ashamed, I guess I am more terrified. I want to help these kids, but I am scared to let my guard down.”

Damn, that was a bit too much.

He nodded his head, “That makes sense, that's why I was a bit rude. I don't want to be close, but from observing your relationship with them, it's already past the point of no return.” I turn and glance at him. He is smiling at me. “And there is nothing wrong with helping and giving hope to them.”

“Well, even though you made a shitty first impression, you could try again.”

He shrugs, “Yea, I know. But they already have a bad ass cop as a friend.”

“They could always use one more.” I said nonchalantly.

“Whoa now, you said something nice? Damn, how did that feel coming out of your mouth?” he teased while smacking my shoulder.

My lips twitched, “Like I lost all self respect.” I glance at him and smirk.

“Prick.”

“Dumbass.”

.................

I never thought about it, but I really care for Marcus and the kids. I always thought I do what I do because its what most people should do. But pointing out how much hope and kindness I am giving them, he may be right. I may care more about them than I am willing to confess.

I don't want to admit it, but he gives really good advice. 

Fuck.